Anger

[Snoopy]

Originally Posted by seattlegal

Hmm, it's unlikely that a live fish would be available in a supermarket queue, but if one was available, and I decided to hit someone over the head with it, it wouldn't be out of anger...

That's not the same and you know it.

Try another button.

s.

[Francis king]

I don't get u, snoopy... you started off trying to be my pal, then didnt get the response u wanted, now ur following me round trying to provoke me into, what exactly?

How does Buddhism fit in with game-playing exactly?

Interesting though that you should choose to present yourself in this way...

No doubt you will come up with a fantastically dharma friendly reason as to why ur behaving like a small child...

maybe you can even quote me the relevant sutra- you know, the one that reads... "an enlightened being can act like a fool, so long as they know what sutra it is written in"

you said Snoopy... "...I just never would have expected that a person who might punch my head in at a supermarket queue could also declare an interest in / belief in / practice the dharma", and then refer me to a post in the other thread where I speak about God...

I do not know how I am supposed to take this, really... should I imply from this you don't think I'm a real buddhist after all... ha ha ha...

I don't think you're a real buddhist either- so there! nah nah nah nah nahhh...

[Dondi]

I do not know how I am supposed to take this, really... should I imply from this you don't think I'm a real buddhist after all... ha ha ha...

I don't think you're a real buddhist either- so there! nah nah nah nah nahhh...

Maybe Snoopy's a budds**t instead?

(Sorry, I just saw this in the juxapostion of letters in the word 'buddhist. Just a stupid joke, I mean no offense.)

Anger....can be beneficial. Seems to me that it can replace fear in a show of courage, like when a mother fends off an attacker who is threatening her kids.

If you lost a child to senseless violence, wouldn't you get angry? It is an initial reaction to a circumstance, an emotion like any other emotion. It is neither good nor bad, it just is.

However, it is what we do with that anger that is significant. For anger can turn into something else: hatred, bitterness, despair, which threatens to destroy the souls. We need to be careful how we channel that anger. Has anyone seen the movie "The Firestarter" (based on the Stephen King novel)? When Charlie (played by drew Barrymore) strikes out with her pyrotechnic "gift", she has to contain all that energy into a bucket of water lest she destroy everything in site. Well, we need to find our own bucket of water to quench the flame of anger. Turn the anger into something else, control the anger.

My anger is usually turn toward God. Not to mean that I'm angry at God, necessarily. But I channel my anger to Someone who I believe is listening. (Many times, we just want someone to listen to our rant). If you don't believe in God, talk to the Wind. Usually, when my inoitial rant fades, I try to reason with my anger.

The first thing I ask is 'why am I angry?' Is whatever I'm angry about worth getting angry? Is it as big a deal as I thought? Do I need to endanger my health by getting angry? Is it just a misunderstanding? Or maybe I am in the wrong (heaven forbid) in this? Do I have the fortitude to forgive the person? Or if I don't, have the grace to ask for the ability to forgive from Something bigger than me? (I believe forgiveness is rather important, for if one harbors bitterness, it becomes unhealthy and destructive)

OK, not much in the way of Buddhism, but I have to agree with Francis that not all anger is bad. Else, as a Christian, I'll have to believe that Jesus' anger in the temple was a bad thing. But I believe he had a righteous reason for being angry.

[LeoSalinas22]

anger can also be used to discipline ones children. even to correct your signicant other. i know my wife has done that many times out of anger and you know what? she was right (i hate it when she's right). anger can teach you many things, if you direct it to accomplish good things.

[Dondi]

Originally Posted by LeoSalinas22

anger can also be used to discipline ones children. even to correct your signicant other. i know my wife has done that many times out of anger and you know what? she was right (i hate it when she's right). anger can teach you many things, if you direct it to accomplish good things.

While anger may be an initial reaction of displeasure to what a child might have done, it is never good to discipline one in anger. The anger should only be used to voice your disappointment, but discipline ought to be carried out methodically, preferrably after cooling off. If I get so angry with my children, I'd send them to their room first before taking further action. Gives me time to cool off a bit and make rational decisions.

[LeoSalinas22]

i take it you don't hit your kids, dondi?

[LeoSalinas22]

sorry, dondi. i guess i got a little personal there. my bad.

[Dondi]

Originally Posted by LeoSalinas22

i take it you don't hit your kids, dondi?

When they were smaller, I'd spank them when need be, but only on the bottom. They are old enough now where I can 'reason' with them through other means.

[LeoSalinas22]

that's cool, man. just curious and found the need to ask. personally i think that small children aren't hit (*ahem* disciplined) enough now a days. but that's my personal opinion. my oldest is 9. how old is your oldest if you don't mind my asking?

[Netti-Netti]

The most angry and unhappy people on the planet are unable to see the world for what it is. That is, they see things in light of their own desires, which in effect means they see things in light of their personal disappointments, assumptions of narcissistic entitlement, and irrational sense of having been cheated or deprived.

As I've stated elsewhere, dukkha is not entirely a property inherent in the nature of things. It is also a quality of experience that reflects a dysfunctional relationship to the world. Specifically, it is a quality of experience that stems from notions of being able to control or possess certain objects of choice that presumably have potential to pacify cravings.

The self-centered approach leads to a pervasive and deep-seated sense of frustration, anger, and self-pity, which in turn leads to a desire to take what is not given. And this in turn only leads to more problems (violation of others' rights, guilt, shame, self-justification, denial, secrecy, etc.).

People who are living out of an egoistic bias are in effect continuously adding to their own private dukkha, interpersonal dukkha, and the overall burden of the world by their faulty understanding of self-interest. It is easy to see how the lack of faith, distrust, cynicism and sense of hopelessness would seem justified. Every action taken out of an egoistic bias will virtually guarantee such unwholesome states if for no other reason that negative thinking and false hopes color the emotions and give impetus to the heavy-handed approach that invariably tend to repel or destroy the sought-after things or derange the person's relation to these things to the point where the individual is hardly able to actually enjoy or otherwise benefit from them.


From Chapter 1 of Santideva's Bodhicaryavatara:

"Those desiring to escape from suffering hasten right toward suffering. With the very desire for happiness, out of delusion they destroy their own happiness as if it were an enemy."

Arguable, the quest for happiness scan set you up for frustration, anger, and self-pity.

[Netti-Netti]

Anger can be seen as a heavy-handed re-assertion of personal control in the face of frustration and/or a possible loss of egoic resources. It may be one symptom among others indicating a lapse in the ability to receive the Blessings that are all around. As a result, the individual resorts to a grasping, egoistic approach.

Originally Posted by seattlegal

This is one way that I look at it:

• What at first blush seems to be exercising our free-will actually leads towards the negating of our free-will, making us a slave to sin. (Compare Galatians 5, especially verses 13-18.)

Exactly.

[seattlegal]

I agree that anger can blind you to what is really going on.

Originally Posted by Netti-Netti

Anger can be seen as a heavy-handed re-assertion of personal control in the face of frustration and/or a possible loss of egoic resources. It may be one symptom among others indicating a lapse in the ability to receive the Blessings that are all around. As a result, the individual resorts to a grasping, egoistic approach.

Anger is a stronger emotion than pride or desire. Once you understand this, you can use it as a means to quiet the other emotions in order to see the situation clearly, without having to resort to the 'heavy handed approach' of blinding rage. {It sounds like a good explanation for my observations from this previous post:}

Originally Posted by seattlegal

This may sound strange, but anger is like a 'shh' to my emotional mind, rather than a yell. It triggers great clarity of awareness that lends itself to knowing exactly what to do to remedy a dangerous situation.

[Dondi]

Originally Posted by LeoSalinas22

that's cool, man. just curious and found the need to ask. personally i think that small children aren't hit (*ahem* disciplined) enough now a days. but that's my personal opinion. my oldest is 9. how old is your oldest if you don't mind my asking?

I have a 10 year old and 15 year old.

[LeoSalinas22]

that's awesome, dondi. thanks for sharing that. two boys. 9 and 3. and i have a third one on the way. a boy too. i can't imagine my life without them. i guess the anger issue i might have inherited from my pops. hard to let go. i don't deserve my kids. uuuugh, now i am rambling. thanks again for sharing dondi.

[Netti-Netti]

Originally Posted by seattlegal

Anger is a stronger emotion than pride or desire. Once you understand this, you can use it as a means to quiet the other emotions in order to see the situation clearly

The intensity of anger - like blind rage - does not obscure the less strong emotions?

Also, how does quieting the other emotions help quiet the anger?