Hey :)

[day_dream]

Hey, my name is Chez and I am a 17 year-old full-time Student studying in England. I came across this forum after searching the Internet for information on Unitarianism. I have a boyfriend who I have been with for 20 months and he is a strong Christian. As we have been getting closer, he has started to ask me questions on what I believe in. I am unsure, and he finds it difficult to accept this answer. I have begun to get worried that this may mean we will find it difficult to have a relationship in the long term.

Basically, I was Christened when I was a baby even though my Mum and Dad are not all that religious (doesn’t make much sense but hey!) Ever since High School, I have grown up with family and friends who have been the same as me-not really thinking or caring for religion. Now, I have a b/f who feels very strongly about Christianity whom I love dearly and this has made me feel confused and uncomfortable.

He also says that he wishes I would become more involved in what he believes in but it’s difficult. I once went to a Christian concert with him and felt very out of it. I’ve promised to him that I’ll try to find out more about God but even the simplest things such as praying for guidance makes me feel guilty; like I’m doing it selfishly and not because I believe.

Like I said, I have found out information about Unitarianism and it has interested me as (as far as I can understand) it is about people believing in what they wish which suits me. I would not call myself an Atheist or an Agnostic as I do not rule out the existence of God; I’m just very unsure at the minute but I hope to find where I belong soon!

Sorry it’s long, Chez xx

[juantoo3]

Kindest Regards, day dream, and welcome to CR!

Sounds to me like you are on the right track. At least you are considering your boyfriend's feelings in this matter, I hope he extends the same courtesy. I don't have any specific suggestions, let your heart and mind guide you on your path. And Best of Wishes in this!

[Avinash]

Heya Day-dream and welcome to CR,

Seems like you're going about this knotty matter in a sensible way. I didn't find my spiritual way until I was 20 and wasn't sure if I was really at home there until about 7 years later. Even if I had felt the need or pressure to hurry, I don't think it could it have been done.

Best wishes,
Andrew

[I, Brian]

Hi day_dream, and welcome to CR.

As for your long-term relationship prospects - to be blunt, unless he accepts that you have your own opinions, and your own outlook on life then you have little of a relationship to look forward to. Tell him to take more of an interest in the things you do. A quick 2c.

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

Zdrastvuitsye, hola, shalom, salaam, Dia dhuit, namastar ji, hej, konbanwa, squeak, meow, :wave: day_dream.

Originally posted by day_dreamI have a boyfriend who I have been with for 20 months and he is a strong Christian. As we have been getting closer, he has started to ask me questions on what I believe in. I am unsure, and he finds it difficult to accept this answer. I have begun to get worried that this may mean we will find it difficult to have a relationship in the long term.

Originally posted by I, BrianAs for your long-term relationship prospects - to be blunt, unless he accepts that you have your own opinions, and your own outlook on life then you have little of a relationship to look forward to. Tell him to take more of an interest in the things you do. A quick 2c.

I agree with I, Brian. Too many people that I know that are SO abuse survivors told me that if they had seen the signs before the slaps, they would've left the relationship. And one of the signs is a disregard for the opinions/ideas/differences of the abused on matters that are important. Don't kowtow to him concerning your beliefs. If he doesn't want to accept that you aren't as strong of a Christian as he is and he doesn't want to find out what truly interests you, then I'd walk (and I have, too.)

*amorphous voice*: That'll be $.02, please.
*pulls out a couple of pennies and hands them over to the salesclerk*
*amorphous voice*: Thank you, and have a nice day.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

[day_dream]

Thanks to all of you for your kindness and suggestions. I know that he has got to face my own opinions and beliefs and I also know what I will have to do if he doesn't (easier said than done as he is my first love). I will try to follow my heart but being a typical hormonal teenager my feelings are all over the place! I hope to find myself soon.

Many thanks. x