I know from personal experience that it is unpleasant but I do believe you are psychologically in a good and necessary place. Consider from the Gospel of Thomas
I'm not sure that unpleasant is the correct word, but rather humbled in that I feel like I'm on the right path, yet a little wary of letting go of what I have held on to for so long. It's like I'm in a sinking boat, so I'm tossing out all the baggage in order to keep my buoyancy, so I might reach dry land. The problem is deciding what to toss, and what to keep. Even so, I somehow know that I will reach the other side safely. It's an really odd sensation, actually. I kinda like it, lol!
See above, and you will understand how I feel I think.You've now become troubled. The old doesn't satisfy anymore and the new hasn't come. I know how awkward this is. At some point you may become astonished at a new direction being offered to help. It was known in the past as "metnaoia."