There is no Toilette Paper

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Dream, Apr 1, 2013.

  1. Dream

    Dream Well-Known Member

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    I was happy once, but then came the saddest of days. The toilette paper which I had always relied upon ran out and left me down in the dumps.

    Oh my paper is gone, so my toilette is useless. Its hurricane flushing system is as a ruthless lion which has been made toothless.

    I'm marooned on the toilette with no way to call. My cell phone is all the way down the hall, and I dare not get up. No I dare not rise at all.

    I managed to reach my laptop by means of which I beg you for tissue. Stop what you are doing. Call my neighbor and explain the issue.
     
  2. wil

    wil UNeyeR1 Moderator

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    As you left us no number for which to respond,

    And your song has no melody for which to give the band,

    While your situation is not one which anyone is fond,

    I'm afraid you are going to have to take matters in your own hand.
     
  3. Dream

    Dream Well-Known Member

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    The best of friends make the lamest of excuses, and the price of freedom is the friend that freely chooses.
    Its a riddle wrapped in mystery inside of I don't know how to write music.

    Well, no. Thank you for your empathy.

    What is this april fools?
     
  4. juantoo3

    juantoo3 ....whys guy.... ʎʇıɹoɥʇnɐ uoıʇsǝnb

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    Sounds as though you are on the horns of a dilemma, suffering a crisis of faith and in dire need of a support group!

    Sadly, I don't know of any...so I guess you're on your own for this one!
     
  5. juantoo3

    juantoo3 ....whys guy.... ʎʇıɹoɥʇnɐ uoıʇsǝnb

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    Can you spare a square?
     
  6. wil

    wil UNeyeR1 Moderator

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    just a square....

    it was a bad plan poorly executed....

    however what percentage of the world does NOT use paper due to lack of technological advances...

    And what percentage of the world does NOT use paper because of technological advances and concern for the environment?
     
  7. juantoo3

    juantoo3 ....whys guy.... ʎʇıɹoɥʇnɐ uoıʇsǝnb

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    In days of old, when knights were bold, and tissue not invented...
    They wiped their ass on tufts of grass, and walked away contented.

    :D

    Otherwise you could use mussel shell scrapers as they did in johnny house days.

    Just *don't* wipe with poison ivy. Every camping trip there is at least one unfortunate soul who learns the hard way!
     
  8. Dream

    Dream Well-Known Member

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    Is Juantoo3 also among the poets?
     
  9. juantoo3

    juantoo3 ....whys guy.... ʎʇıɹoɥʇnɐ uoıʇsǝnb

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    Alas! 'Tis not original to me...

    I pilfered it from somewhere in a former life.
     
  10. wil

    wil UNeyeR1 Moderator

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    I've been in that porta-john
     
  11. wil

    wil UNeyeR1 Moderator

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    How is it possible I have zero recollection of this thread??
     
  12. Dream

    Dream Well-Known Member

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    Maybe you use a bidet?
     

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