Should a member of the opposite sex pick up someone to bring to church?

Discussion in 'Politics and Society' started by deafracer, May 10, 2014.

  1. deafracer

    deafracer New Member

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    I'm curious on the theories and beliefs on someone trying to help the church by picking up someone and bringing them to church or church gatherings, but the person they are trying to help is of the opposite sex. I would have thought that this is acceptable because you are bringing someone to church to save their souls but I've been told that this is not a good idea and there should be two people and preferably one is of the same sex as the person being picked up. What is your opinion and is there somewhere in the bible that specifically states this? I'm still learning a lot and I love reading more verses in the bible and learning from others.
     
  2. DeiGratia

    DeiGratia New Member

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    I don't know why we should be so worried about the person we bring to church is the opposite or the same gender. We should bring anyone who is interested in the church service regardless of gender.
     
  3. Nick the Pilot

    Nick the Pilot Well-Known Member

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    Deafracer,,

    Of course it is okay. If your church says it is not, you need to find a new church.
     
  4. A Cup Of Tea

    A Cup Of Tea An ordinary cup of tea

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    I think it depends more on what the person being brought is comfortable with. And I don't think you should leave that church if this isn't something that is very important to you.
     
  5. Gordian Knot

    Gordian Knot Being Deviant IS My Art.

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    Dea said "but I've been told that this is not a good idea and there should be two people and preferably one is of the same sex as the person being picked up"

    This comment suggests that the person saying it is more interested in how things look and superficial nonsense like that. If it is but the one person in your church saying this, I wouldn't concern myself overly.

    If it is more the congregation telling you this, that sounds like a very superficial group of people. Those are not the kind of group you want teaching you what is important in religion.
     
  6. Marcialou

    Marcialou We are stardust

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    What you describe sounds a lot like missionary dating,“the act of a person of one religious faith, commonly Christianity, dating a person with differing beliefs for the purpose of changing that person's beliefs or religion. …Phrases used for this undertaking also include ‘dating for Jesus’ or ‘flirt to convert’. The morality and appropriateness of missionary dating is a controversial subject among some Christians”.Wikipedia

    I couldn’t find any sites that actually sanction or encourage missionary dating but a number advise against it, so it’s unclear what the origins of this practice is or how widespread it is. But when your church advises against one-on-one, opposite sex, church-invitation pick-ups, it is probably trying to avoid the pitfalls of a missionary dating.

    One Christian critique of missionary dating comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14 - "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (NIV)

    Another is the fear that the converter may become the convertee and backslide away from the true faith.

    From the standpoint of the missionary "dated," missionary dating is a problem of deception. It can be terribly hurtful to discover that you are liked not for yourself but for your potential conversion potential.

    However, if you're clear up front that your interest in the person is to convert him/her, no deception is involved, but your church may have other concerns.
     
  7. Namaste Jesus

    Namaste Jesus Praise the Lord and Enjoy the Chai Staff Member

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    Very interesting ML, personally I've never seen the point of trying to convert anyone. I've always thought of religion as just being different roads all leading to the same place.

    Then again, what do I know? I'm just a Christian married to a Hindu....:rolleyes:
     
  8. deafracer

    deafracer New Member

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    Marcialou, My post has nothing to do with dating.

    The whole thing I am asking is if it was taboo for someone of the opposite sex to pick up and transport someone to church. For example, a guy has a car and is asked by another church member for a ride. Now this guy is not single but takes a second car to go and pick up the female and arrives to church with her. Some people, being human, would look upon this suspiciously and being that this is a ride to church it should never be looked at that way, and that is my opinion on that. I was not only told by the pastor of my church that it should be two people and preferably one should be of the same sex, but I was also told by another person outside the church that this is something that we as Christians should not do. While I still strongly disagree with this, I also can see how some people would perceive it.

    Now the example I used is a fictitious example and nothing has been done so don't start thinking that something has happened. I was asked by a church member if I could pick up another member (female), and this was asked after having the discussion with the pastor, and I declined to pick her up because I was evaluating the situation and what people have said to me. I didn't even know who the person was, it's a new church for me, but after seeing the girl that I was asked to pick up I also can see how some people would perceive it. I still disagree that some say it is taboo but I also see how we need to know more about our church and who needs help and plan for it better. We also need to make sure the church members understand that it is our mission to bring people to Christ and sometimes these are the circumstances that will arise.

    I disagree with the statement to leave the church because this is a great church with one bad perspective and I think they need to be taught better on this subject, even the pastor.

    Thanks for all the feedback. :D
     
  9. Marcialou

    Marcialou We are stardust

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    Deafracer,

    If the woman you're driving to church is already a member of your church then you are indeed not engaging in conversion dating. Sorry I misunderstood.
     
  10. wil

    wil UNeyeR1

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    Okee dokee.... The year is 2014.

    Taking someone to church with their permission, and being respectable about the whole thing is within decorum....IN MY BOOK!

    If your church has issues with it, if gossip is that rampant, if folks can't keep their noses out of other peoples business... yikes.

    I have shared hotel rooms with members of the opposite sex....one and one... and other arrangements (more guys than gals and more gals than guys) (note, I prefer to be outnumbered)... I have shared beds with members of the opposite sex. Without sexual advances. Am I a male? Yes. Did I have thoughts? Yes. Did I act on them? NO! When put in a position of trust and assistance to a fellow human being...ACT HUMAN.

    If you can't keep it in your pants....or outta your pants (as the case may be) then don't tempt yourself.
     
  11. voiceofwood

    voiceofwood Interfaith Forums

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    It is acceptable, however, is it not sometimes unwise?

    In any case it is up to the conscience of the individual concerned and depends on quite what you mean by 'pick up'

    Do you mean 'offer a lift to' or something else?
     
  12. wil

    wil UNeyeR1

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    Again..if you know you can't keep it in your pants.... I suppose it is unwise....for you.

    Or if the situation is such that one's reputation will be besmirched by such lewd acts as being alone with the member of the opposite sex...I guess it is unwise.
     
  13. voiceofwood

    voiceofwood Interfaith Forums

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    You being able to keep it in your pants may not be the only lack of continence in question
     
  14. wil

    wil UNeyeR1

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    so says the voice of wood...
     
  15. voiceofwood

    voiceofwood Interfaith Forums

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    He he he, that had never struck me about this psudonom but I was implying that it may be the party being picked up that is less than continent
     
  16. LincolnSpector

    LincolnSpector Member

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    Okay, first I have to admit that I'm not a Christian and don't understand some Christian attitudes about sex. But this isn't about sex; it's about appearances.

    A church member asked you to do a favor for another church member. You declined because you were worried that people would jump to conclusions. My advice: Do what you think is right and don't worry about appearances. Better to do what you believe is right and upset a few people than not do what is right.
     
  17. Frrostedman

    Frrostedman Keepin' it cool

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    If the 2 people in question are both unmarried then not only should the church keep it's mouth shut about it, but if anything they should applaud a single male and single female of the congregation, joining each other to go to Church. It should be encouraged.

    However if either party is married, it is a matter of Christian church policy that this never happen. No married person is supposed to spend time with a member of the opposite sex (outside the marriage) behind closed doors or hidden from public view. It's not assumed that if they do it they are engaging in something sinful, but, the idea is not to even allow the possibility. We all have our weak moments. If you think this is oppressive, then consider the Muslim equivalent. Females who step outside their houses have to cover their entire body with a burka--typically a black one to make them look as least attractive as possible--with 2 slits in the mask for eye holes.
     
  18. voiceofwood

    voiceofwood Interfaith Forums

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    Honi soit qui mal y pense
     
  19. Quirkybird

    Quirkybird Granny to five

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    I am gobsmacked by the craziness of the OP!
     
  20. LincolnSpector

    LincolnSpector Member

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    Are Christians really that scared of their libidoes?

    I'm married. I have been at female friend's homes more times than I can remember. We didn't do anything, my wife didn't think we did anything, and it's no big deal.

    When I went to Seattle a few years back for a special event, my wife suggested I stay at the home of a friend of hers. We slept in the same house (in different rooms of course), with no chaperone. No big deal.

    I can understand why some wives would be suspicious, because some men cheat. (As do some wives.) But if the wife trusts the husband, there's nothing to worry about.
     

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