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Thank you for this. I made sure in one of my posts that "I'm trying to decide if Christianity as I know it is compatible with being female." Indeed I was taught at home, at church, and (briefly) at school that female is less, that women must be subject to men, that men decide what is feminine and what isn't, that women should only care about matters inside the home, that education and career and on and on are for men and women are intruders upon these spaces. There is a lot of practical ridiculousness in all of that and I was no fragile flower--I fought every step of the way. But I was also held in by the idea that straying would send me straight to hell. (Is there even a hell? Another topic for another time.)I think that Christianity straight from the Bible would be pretty uncomfortable to deal with as a female. I wouldn't be able to cope with practically any of the ways females are dealt with in the text, history, or culture. Its bad enough as it is how people have been taught to treat females and think of them and how they are depicted to confirm these ideas just for having the slightest differences in biological structures and hormones.
I don't even know how you've gotten as far as you have carrying it, but I think its definitely scary knowing only one thing mostly and not trusting or knowing outside of it or even having the strength to defy a structure that has been present from the earliest age and was part of the mechanism by which you communicated and related somewhat to your family through and community as well.
I grew up going to a Christian school that held services often inside the school, but what feels bad and wrong I've become practiced in being vocal about, even if its natural stuff. If I'm to worship a God, then it will be a God of Justice too, and a lot of the stuff in the Bible seems not quite right to me, much more than other religious books even which seem to have better ideas that are at least more fair and ethical and just seeming in comparison, making the Bible in large swathes look frankly vile.
Another woman has already sent me a quote by a teacher that says, "...patriarchy is not the Bible’s message; it is the cultural backdrop that sets off in the starkest relief the radical gospel nature of that message." But what difference does that make if a little girl is brought up to believe it is the message? And if those that would perpetuate it are those that have the power to apply it to public policy?