Roll with the punches...

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by wil, May 1, 2020.

  1. wil

    wil UNeyeR1

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    Play the cards that are dealt...

    Ride the waves...

    Paddle downstream..

    Sail with the wind...

    I don't always take the path of least resistance, but I always give it some consideration.
     
  2. Cino

    Cino Big Love! (Atheist mystic)

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    "Face the facts, then deal with them", is what you're saying?
     
  3. wil

    wil UNeyeR1

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    Maybe?
     
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  4. Nasruddin

    Nasruddin Active Member

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    Okay, so I get the feeling you're in a strange and questioning place right now. What's it like to be you these days?
     
  5. wil

    wil UNeyeR1

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    I've been in a questioning place for years.

    It is intereating I've read for years about the observer, and observing the observer. I feel my health issues made it understandable. From initially waking up 2 weeks later, to not being able to talk (breathing tube) or write (Rh side stroke issues), dealing with attempts to communicate,.and the relearning to swallow, walk, hold a spoon, chopsticks, deal cards..till now still day to day how many breaks will I need to walk around the block, can I learn to juggle clubs behind my back... for almost two years I have been observing my physical progress, my mental acuity and lapses, my TIAs and occasional vision, motor skills and equilibrium loss...or BP/hr, O² and now temp checks 3x per day...it is like I am my own guinea pig... is this a stroke, or afib, or flutter, do I have to call my docs or 911, will this go away if I adjust meds and wait?

    Observing the physical aspects of this vessel, and then observing my reactions to the stimuli...I find myself watching my reactions to the situation rather than trying to change the situation AND without changing my reactions.

    Pile that onto the quarantine opportunity for self reflection of the things I should have done differently and then switching back to contemplation without condemnation.

    My confusion good, bad or ugly is that I've basically taken the easy road most my life...the available road, the path of least resistance....

    Paddled downstream...

    Thanks for asking and making me allow this stream of consciousness to wander by...
     
  6. Nasruddin

    Nasruddin Active Member

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    Thanks for replying, I had no idea this had happened to you. I sort of fell off the world after Bastyr.
    So how has your emotional state been? I can empathize with the huge change you must have been through. I'm so sorry you've suffered so.
     
  7. wil

    wil UNeyeR1

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    Thats just it. I have no memory of the incident, or two weeks in ICU...my family suffered all the pain, being told that I probably wouldn't make it,

    I just woke up with a condition I had to deal with. There were struggles, after 5 weeks in bed muscle deterioration is amazing. But again, imagine it as falling in the pool at a cocktail party. It happened ya gotta swim to the edge and get out of the pool, and dry off....

    I had the same issues when my wife decided to leave. We had a 20 year marriage, lots of good times, 2 great kids....i surely can't complain, I also have no interest living with anyone that doesnt' wish to live with me. People gave me grief for not being pissed or fighting to save the marriage. This time I want to get stronger, I see reason to fight....but no reason to complain....I don't see the benefit. I also am comfortable that I've had a great life, lots of memories...All is well.
     
  8. Nasruddin

    Nasruddin Active Member

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    I'm glad you're feeling all right. And I'm glad you are able to keep in contact with people here on the interwebs :)
     
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