Quahom1 said:
My concern with this perspective is that once again, we are telling the parents they are incompetent to do their job, and that the state must provide an arbiter, in order to rectify the situation. In short we convict the partents without a trial, of "failure to properly parent" their child, and give the child the responsiblity to make a decision as an adult, while claiming to protect them as an innocent child. This is one of many issues that is effectively tearing the family structure apart. The decision made often ultimately affects every member of the family for several generations, as well as the horizontal spread of family branches, not to mention the girl that has to make the choice.
The family unit is in an uphill struggle to prevent the apparent push by society to effect the dissolution of said family unit.
my thoughts
v/r
Q
Hi Q, Actually, I agree with you. What I had in mind when I wrote that is the case where a child is being molested by her father or other member of the household, resulting in the pregnancy. I had written a lot more when I wrote the above, but it quickly became too personal feeling for me, so cut off much of what I wrote.
And also, among the worst cases, is when a girl knows exactly how strongly pro-life her parents are, yet feels desperate and scared and ashamed. Even in such a family where love is evident she may go to an unqualified stranger before going to her parents. I don't want for it to be this way, but I know that it is. I'm thinking of options where a girl could go to someone she can trust to give her good advice and help, and who has the goal of involving the parents. But perhaps this is also pie in the sky thinking.
For the record I am pro-life and I don't want others meddling in my family. My own mother educated me about healthy and safe sexuality knowing that ultimately, when the decisions about sex and consequences are made, it would be up to me to make them. I think it is a delicate balance to try to instill your values in your kids but then also let them make their own choices in the long run. But then we are talking about the best case, where the family is functioning well most of the time.
From the OP and the article, I'm coming at it from the view that already the girl has shown mistrust of her family by not going to them first and also she is 16 (which is old enough to be taking responsibility for her actions, but of course when my girls are 16 it will still be all too young

). So, what I started to say in my first post is that "one-size-fits-all" laws do not work for everyone, it takes a case by case basis so that parents are not 'convicted without a trial,' but some attempt is made to determine the maturity level of the child and the functionality of the family, before rotely including or excluding them.
So, if you'd like to hear something I find equally disturbing, but in the same vein, consider the parents who cover up or otherwise assist their teens when those teens commit crimes. This happened in my previous neighborhood. There was a rash of car and garage break-ins, and some serious vandalism that included setting things on fire. A lot of damage was done and lots of stuff stolen (we are victims as well, my husband's computer was stolen from his car). When the kids doing this were finally found out, their parents caught wind of it and sent those kids on a vacation out of country so the police could not question them. I don't know how it all turned out, but here is an example of parents not acting responsibly nor even in the best interests of their kids, if you believe that we learn from the consequences of our mistakes.
You might also guess that I don't agree with parents being held accountable for the crimes of their older teen age children. I would argue as well that if 13-year olds are committing crimes then the parents are probably guilty of neglect at least, but I know very well that it is impossible to judge families from the outside. Again, the whole thing calls for someone to be paying attention as an unbiased third party when a family starts to have lots of trouble that involves the police.
For some reason I have a lot more to say about this but I will just have mercy on you all and stop here.
lunamoth