Wil....

17th Angel

לבעוט את התחת ולקחת שמות
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Have you seen the little piggies crawling in the d
"I am friendly and slow to anger!" :D

Animals - Please don't let me be misunderstood...

Baby, do you understand me now
Sometimes I feel a little mad
But don't you know that no one alive
Can always be an angel
When things go wrong I seem to be bad
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Baby, sometimes I'm so carefree
With a joy that's hard to hide
And sometimes it seems that all I have do is worry
Then you're bound to see my other side
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
If I seem edgy I want you to know
That I never mean to take it out on you
Life has it's problems and I get my share
And that's one thing I never meant to do
Because I love you
Oh, Oh baby don't you know I'm human
Have thoughts like any other one
Sometimes I find myself long regretting
Some foolish thing some little simple thing I've done
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Yes, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Yes, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
 

Ciel

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The start of that post I did expect something along those lines... The last paragraph though was quite suprising... Thanks?


17th the "?"........ no question.

Ever considered dropping the questions?

Are you a good guy or a bad guy, no, you are who you are, you just have to find out who you really are......the balance of you standing between the yes and the no. It is at first a strange place to be because in the beginning you will feel nothing at all. Stranger in a strange land, the land of self meeting self for the first time. And it is the same for others..........

- c -
 

wil

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C, I only said Thanks? Because It seems quite strange for someone who hardly knows you to percieve you as a good person... I kinda think that is nice of you. :D
Sorry my brother, I took it wrong as well...the 'thank?' being like me, questioning compliments, not being good at gratitude...

And just so you know, despite the sarcasm, dark humor, devil's advocate ways....many of us see through that veil and how caring, compassionate and thoughtful you are....it comes right through...

as absolutely evidenced by this thread.
 

17th Angel

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Sorry my brother, I took it wrong as well...the 'thank?' being like me, questioning compliments, not being good at gratitude...

And just so you know, despite the sarcasm, dark humor, devil's advocate ways....many of us see through that veil and how caring, compassionate and thoughtful you are....it comes right through...

as absolutely evidenced by this thread.

My "Thanks?" was rude? Sorry...

Yea maybe I am getting there.... Maybe... lol

So practice is obviously the most rewarding and learning part to get better right? And some time to yourself to think things over and to try and grow in understanding? I am still getting used to this stuff let you know how it goes :D Meditation is something I probally wouldn't do.... My house is too busy for that... I would have my dogs jumping all over me :p
 

Tao_Equus

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An alternative technique may be to get all the anger and vitriol off your chest in one swoop each morning. Buy yourself a "posh spice" doll on ebay and every morning give it a diatribe of your worst.
Just a thot.:)
 

wil

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Yes anger must be released in some form...key...not to let it form in the first place...again takes a while...but things like divorce, foreclosure, bankruptcy, accelerate the learning process...my recommendation would be to learn the skills without having to go to the extreme challenge courses listed above.

Four Agreements, Miquel Ruiz...Yes you can change the world, Aman Motwane...good stuff.

And no the 'thanks?' wasn't rude....just an indication of the process.

Again...my interpretations. Your mileage may vary.
 

juantoo3

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Kindest Regards, all!
Yes anger must be released in some form...
I think this is important. We will get angry from time to time, it is natural and normal. How we deal with anger is another matter.

Long I have struggled not realizing that anger is not an end unto itself. Flying into a rage is unhealthy, but being angered is not. Anger is one more form of emotional outlet. Anger shouldn't be silenced, in my opinion, bottling it up inside is unhealthy. Pretending it doesn't exist is not healthy either. The key is in finding constructive ways to vent the anger, into finding solutions to prevent further anger. Along with realizing that we should control our anger instead of letting our anger control us.
 
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I wasn't asked so maybe this is extraneous...but I'll say what I think anyway. I'm not you and you're not me, so this is just my take from my experience.

I think that anger is a good thing. You can use it for an energy boost if you can figure out how to focus it. I think that most times anger is self-destructive, and it's potential for good is wasted. Righteous anger is one thing. Adrenaline rush anger is another. But I think that most often anger stems from two emotional sources: Impatience number one, and feelings of powerlessness second. Most often it's a combination of those two motivators. If you want to control your anger you have to look carefully at what's causing it. How it builds up and how you release it. I'm not saying I'm totally in control of my anger, but I do know how it works. You can't just "control" your anger. You have to understand the emotional processes that cause it.

Chris
 

wil

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I wasn't asked so maybe this is extraneous.....

I think that anger is a good thing. You can use it for an energy boost if you can figure out how to focus it.
Namaste Chris...

Open forum...anyone responds...I'd like to hear more on focusing/harnessing. I know that I have issues with suppressing/ignoring and I think it leads to a malaise/depression...of course that for me is undiagnosed and I ain't know doctor.

I know in Power V. Force on the levels of consciousness anger is above grief, apathy, fear, guilt...and can be used to accelerate one out of these issues..
 

juantoo3

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Kindest Regards, all!

I think that anger is a good thing. You can use it for an energy boost if you can figure out how to focus it. I think that most times anger is self-destructive, and it's potential for good is wasted. Righteous anger is one thing. Adrenaline rush anger is another.
Yep, that's pretty close to how I see it.

But I think that most often anger stems from two emotional sources: Impatience number one, and feelings of powerlessness second. Most often it's a combination of those two motivators.
I do think there are other potential motivators as well, such as frustration, physical pain, and personality (ego?) clash.

If you want to control your anger you have to look carefully at what's causing it. How it builds up and how you release it. I'm not saying I'm totally in control of my anger, but I do know how it works. You can't just "control" your anger. You have to understand the emotional processes that cause it.
Right. I'm not versed well enough in the psychology involved to get into some deep analysis of the process. Besides, it would probably provoke boredom to tears by those trying to read it. In general though Chris is right on the money. There is an emotional process that takes place. If one can watch the process as it unfolds they can get a better idea of how it triggers and from there how to manipulate the triggers. Once you get that part, then focus on channeling that energy into solutions.

I'd like to hear more on focusing/harnessing. I know that I have issues with suppressing/ignoring and I think it leads to a malaise/depression...of course that for me is undiagnosed and I ain't know doctor.
I think we all look for those simplified bumper sticker solutions, the pat answers to how life works, and it isn't always that simple, at least not in practical application. Even a textbook list of steps may or may not (fully) apply, because each person's psychology is unique, and each experience that provokes anger is unique. We can go with generalities...but then those generalities must be tailored to each individual. As with any emotion, I don't think a textbook can fully convey the essence. The menu is not the meal. The person has to experience the rise of emotion, and then tailor the concept of taking control and redirecting that emotional energy to his / her unique experience.

I know in Power V. Force on the levels of consciousness anger is above grief, apathy, fear, guilt...and can be used to accelerate one out of these issues..
Anger is a funny thing, in that yes it can accelerate or amplify certain other emotions. I heard the story once of a guy pinned down in a foxhole under heavy enemy fire. His buddy right beside him took a bullet between the eyes. The guy was so overcome with fear and rage that he made his way across the line and took out an enemy machine gun nest single-handedly, turned the gun around and used the enemy's gun on them until there were no more bullets! He ended up highly decorated by the US, French and British military for his "heroic" action. Truth is, he was scared sh!tless and did something about it. True story by the way, this was my great-grandfather in WW1.

Now, I can accept that this was an exceptional case...we aren't pinned down in foxholes everyday. I still believe the energy aroused by garden variety anger can be channeled into constructive solution, IF we maintain the presence of mind to do so. It isn't easy, at least not until one gets the knack for doing so. Lord knows I still need a lot of practice. But it can be done, I have heard, I have seen and I have even started on occasion to do myself.

Of course, this is my experience with this...and true, another's mileage may vary...
 

wil

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Wow forgot all about this thread that forshadowed the change from 17th to Alex.

Would like to recognize that it was a conscious decision. One that took time, patience and consistency, like all good things.

And would like to congratulate Alex on the trip! I know I've appreciated being on the ride.
 

Gatekeeper

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Kindest Regards, Angel and all!


SPOT ON, WIL!!!

If I may, Angel, I struggle with some of the same anger issues as you. Its taken me quite some time to realize, but I am beginning to understand more deeply that anger is an emotion, and we do have some control over our emotions. As a clerk, I have to deal with people all day long at work. All of the "professionalism" training I received in school only gave me thoughts to consider when I was calm, and seldom entered my mind when dealing with a...problematic...customer. Over time I began to see that creating adversarial relationships with people I deal with on a frequent basis added to my problems...so I try, mostly, to alleviate that. Its a lot easier to deal with folks on a day to day if one can have a constructive relationship, if not even "friendly." Then there are the occasional patients or family that are difficult to deal with, and it is hard to keep in mind that a person in pain or dealing with health issues may not be pleasant to deal with, or concerned family / friends may be a bit demanding. Still, my position requires that I try. It is really difficult at times.

I think the most eye opening experience for me was when my dog did something (don't even remember what) that provoked my ire. Now, I was set up for this by my physical therapist in a conversation we had. I noticed that I was angry, but I was "outside" (or inside?) of myself, I could see myself getting angry and didn't seem to be able to control it. I was watching me. And I found as the anger began to subside that I was able to control it and calm down much sooner. When I remember to do so, I try to step aside in my mind and rationalize whether or not my anger will be constructive. It seldom is. When I have such presence of mind, I find I am able to lay aside my anger and deal with the situation much better. I accept that I have been angered, but that anger will not solve the problem, and then I seek a solution to the problem.

Doesn't always work, I am still a work in progress, but I do try. I don't get angry quite as fast anymore, but I still have moments.

Like Wil said: practice, practice, practice. There is a switch, if you can find it and learn to make it work. A lot of us, myself included, forget (or don't know) it is there. It is alright to be angry, but to get lost in anger to the point of forgetting that anger doesn't solve the problem is where people like me get into trouble.

Thank you, for such a meaningful thread. ;)

I chose my user name "GateKeeper" for this very reason. I am the keeper of the gates within - I allow what I focus my attention on. If anger comes to fruition, then it was me who allowed it to manifest, and no one else. Same goes with any other emotion [Good, or bad] They exist, and sometimes get the better of me, but I am the one who controls 'my' house! :cool:

Yes, great thread...

James
 

Pathless

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"And that, I think, was the handle - -that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply prevail. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark - that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back."

Hey, that's Hunter S. Thompson from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas! Best give credit where credit is due. And HST was not a chilled-out dude by any stretch of the imagination. He was a depraved, drug-crazed, fiercely independent and violent genius of the desert that was late 20th century American society. He also blew his brains out, so watch your idols.

;)

He was a great man, though, regardless of his faults. A true hero. :D
 
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