It's not for me a case of fear, rather something different...
If u convert, u are usually expected to cut all ties with your other faith... buddhism does not expect this of me, and does not expect me to choose Buddha over Jesus, although now I have converted I will not take communion...
This is a personal choice...
However... within me, there is a part of me which always falls back onto Jesus... Say, for example, I am in trouble, I call upon Jesus... not Buddha...
why is this?
I believe that this is a result of my earlier conditioning, and believe that this will eventually stop... I think that as an impressionable mind, I was impressed with the idea of Jesus the saviour, and so, when troubled, a part of me refers back to this saviour idea, almost like it's a primative childlike reaction which, while running through my mind, I am aware is foolish, and false...
My problem with the switch is not burning in hell- as I do not believe that hells exist, unless they are the metaphorical kind, and I am not concerned about being punished by God, either...
My real concern is... what if I'm wrong?
I profess to be a buddhist, as I prefer the doctrine of buddhism over the doctrines of christianity... I think buddhism is a better vehicle for me to assist others, and I think that if everyone knew a little more about it they would be happier and nearer to finding that peace within themselves...
I don't think the same way about christianity... I think it does ppl more harm than good, and instead of assisting ppl, it ensnares them in further misery...
And yet... A little part of me still loves Jesus... not my adults' version of Jesus; Jesus the man, who occasionally must have masturbated and picked his nose, but a child's Jesus- a godly saviour who will listen to my prayers and grant me assistance...
As an adult, I know that "saviour Jesus" does not exist... if he did, I would not have experienced the things I have- he would have listened, intervened, come to my aid.... but, like all of us, a small part of me is still childlike, and sometimes desperate for a saviour to rescue me from misery...
I would rather try to save myself than wait for a big hand to come from the sky and take me away from all this...