You make a great point Chris, and for what its worth, I like your self too
I guess having come through the twelve step model I have my own idea of what Wilber is saying. There was a time when I didn't think much of myself, as a matter of fact I remember a day when I was willing to walk out in traffic if only to spare the planet my presence and maybe quit using the oxygen that a good person could be breathing. It has been a long haul since then and I had to learn that one such as I had some inherent worth. As the years have passed I understand now that I, character defects, shortcomings and all have a right to be here, and there are those who actually love me just as I am! (Imagine that!)
But now, as I sit in quiet meditation, I realize that this thing I call "me" is not what I had thought. I'm not even sure what I'm talking about here, but looking deeply within myself, well, there are times when there is not me. I know that makes little sense. But during the times of not me there is only isness, and it seems wonderful and deep, and I know that which is me serves as a function, a vehicle if you will made up of ideas almost like software that I can return to at any time.
It's those little spaces in between the thoughts that are so freeing, refreshing. Rather than feeling empty at the loss of self, I see a fullness, and yet even here there exists a subtle duality.
You see I don't even know what I'm talking about here, just trying to express something that still evades any description.
Completely ordinary, very every-day kind of stuff, but again something more.
Hell, I don't know, I might be making this stuff up as I go along
