How I Got Here: My Matron, My Path, Myself...


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As you have more than likely deduced, my given name is Wade. And, I have been studying/practicing The Craft/Wicca for the better part of a decade. However, my journey to this faith was quite an interesting one, to say the least. And, looking back on it now, given the lovely Christian adage that "God works in mysterious ways," I'm convince that the same holds true for our Holy Mother! At first they seemed like random coincidence, however, when you have more than one coincidence right after the other, you have what is known as "synchonicity", which means that it was meant to happen. Even Carl Jung, who was a student of Freud, believed in synchonicity!

It began, innocently enough, with a life long interest in The Craft and Nature Spirituality. A life-long "calling" if you will. I was never reared into many of the Christian trappings of guilt, even though my parents went to church on the extremely odd occasion- and for that I consider myself greatful. However, I do believe we owe Christianity a debt of gratitue for preserving so much of Paganism so well! And, so, my jorney began...

Although, in all honesty, I seemed to walk two divergent paths at once! While I attended Junior High School I became quite environmentally aware, in fact, that our planet was very much alive! And, also, quite interested in Native American spirituality & practices, including my own Irish-Celtic heritage.

These formative years were quite literally years of progression, as they continued on at seemingly break-neck speeds! Because I was always highly psychic, from a very early age (from as far back as I can recall), I saught to explain these abilities which other members in my family also seemed to have. So, I hit the books, trying to quench my desire for knowledge, which wasn't easy in the small town that I grew-up in, as the libraries were equally as small and sorely under stocked. I wanted to know how to explain them- their base physiological & psychological basis.

It seemed shortly after my initiation into the realms of parapsychology that my family & myself began to study the Mormon faith. And, it was also during this treatise, that my whole spiritual perception was forever changed! I, being the cheeky 12 year old I happened to be, took it upon myself to seriously question what I was told and asking some very advanced things, for any age, really! One such life-altering example occured one evening when the missionaries stopped by for their weekly lesson. And, so, because we had been taught from the beginning that we are Jesus' brothers and sisters (in fact they used to call me 'brother Wade'), and that we are God's children, and having a basic working knowledge of genetics & family structure, I asked, 'Well, if we are God's children, and Jesus is our brother... Does God have a wife?', using the words and knowledge available to me at the time, for I had never really thought of (nor been exposed to) the feminine pronoun of "God" as "Goddess". So, I simply used the word "wife". Their answer? 'We believe He does, but...He loves Her so much that He does not reveal Her name to us.' And, it was from that moment that I began to pray to Her, as well as to God, the Father. More recently, however, I was informed by an actively practicing member of the Morman faith that there is actually a Goddess statue within the Salt Lake city Temple. But, no onew really knows who it's of. They just think it's a pretty lady, or Mary, standing among fruits, flowers and animals, etc... In fact, my aquaintance did not know, until he asked someone who worked in the Temple.

Anyway, throughout school, I continually pushed my faith aside, in an effort to deal with High School, home work, and the emotional foibles which seem to embody public school. Although, I never 'forgot' about The Goddess, the Earth & environment, or Native American practices & spirituality. It was always held safe within the confines of my heart, where it continually grew, blossomed, and matured.

But, my formal introduction into the religion of WItchcraft would wait until my first year of college. It was through a friend, naturally. She was performing some research on it, herself, and when I saw the word "Wicca" (having never heard of it before) I simply asked her what it was. And, so began my journey into The Craft. Because, it pulled together everything I had experienced & believed & researched so much earlier in my life... It was truly a Home Coming!

I do consider myself lucky, however, because I knew that Wicca and Witchcraft was nothing 'evil' or in any way associated with any 'devil' or other such nonsense. Thanks, in part, to Lenard Nimoy's old 70s show 'In Search Of...' On one episode it did, in fact, detail a coven of American Witches and interviewed them so that we could walk away with a wonderful understanding of another religion, quite different from those that most knew. Incidentally, [perhaps this is synchronicity at work, again?] the Coven of Witches was those presided over by Laurie Cabot!

But, I digress... My friend had only a passing interest in it, and soon dropped it altogether, which leads me to believe that the Goddess may have been leading me down this path from the very beginning- because I firmly believe that many things happen for a reason- call it synchronicity! The Goddess works in mysterious ways! Of that, I am convinced.

I found it utterly fascinating, and felt the calling of the Goddess, and that of my ancient heritage, once again, since all those long years ago. So, I began to further research it, as best I could, anyway. And, eventually found it frustrating, because I wasn't finding the answers to many of the questions I was asking- questions which many books, at the time, seemed to avoid, with such dodgy answers as 'You have to believe in spells for them to work!' without giving any rational, logical, or left-brained reason 'to believe'. Regardless of this fact, I would not, could not, waver in my devotion to the Great Mother Goddess. Of that I was stead fast.

And so, in the time that I began to doubt my faith, I raised my voice in prayer to our Divine Parents asking for Their guidance in answering the questions that I saught! (You have to realize that I come from a world in which "spells" are given over to the world of dreams and fairy tales, with no factual basis in reality.) And, They did! A book found its way to me, as an answer to that humble prayer. It described, using the New Physics, a world and Universe which makes sense to the Witch! Having, since then, read a number of books on phsics, I came up with the following analogy! That, the more I read about it, the more the Universe seems like the film "The Matrix", if yoiu've seen it, yet. And, also, a way in which to explain, to the rational, how what we call "spells" actually work!

Soon after, however, my Matron Goddess, The Morrighan came to me upon one Lughnasadh Eve. It's quite a lovely story, and I hope you enjoy it [it's actually one of my favorite stories to tell!]:

As the old adage says, The Gods choose us, rather than the other way around. I live in a small town (a farming community) surrounded on all sides (for miles) by farms, fields & farmers! And, in the field in front of me, off in the distance (on the Eve prior to Lughnasadh) I was treated to a spectacular fireworks display! I have often wondered if the farmers (or whomever were filling the sky with coloured light) new that this was the Eve of a sabbath, or that it was at least a Harvest Feastival!?!?!? So, soon after the last whisp of light faded into the warm embrace of the night, I went back inside, and retired to bed. That night, one of The Morrighan's triplicities (whom is also frequently honoured on Lughnasadh) came to me in a dream. She came to me in the guise of Macha! And, because I'm sure The Goddess knows how stubborned I can sometimes be, She came to me on the Eve after Lughnasadh. This time as The Morrighan, dressed in Her dark robes & vestments, with compassionate eyes, as of those for a child by it's mother! And, that was enough for me to take the hint! As I have honoured Her ever since. And, since, I have heard music in the call of the crow- fealt Her black wings of protection & love! After all, we honour the old gods because we love Them.

Well, that's it! I hope you've really enjoyed it.
Hi WiccanWade, and welcome to!

A good read - I used to be particularly sensitive to synchronity, so it's an subject I still find very interesting. :)

I am very surprised indeed that the Mormons you spoke of claimed that God had a wife - this is the first I've heard of it (though then again I have limited experience of Mormon ideas).

Anyway, I'm sincerely glad you found your paths converge of one into a form you could personally understand, realate to - and find significant! That particularly always seems to be a special challenge - just being on a road that makes sense.

Anyway, hope you enjoy yourself around here - I'm sure you'll find some interesting people to chat with. :)
I said:
Hi WiccanWade, and welcome to!

Why, thank you!

I said:
A good read - I used to be particularly sensitive to synchronity, so it's an subject I still find very interesting. :)

Again, thank you! Some good books would be those written by physicist, F. David Peat, and "The Holographic Universe", by Michael Talbot (a fav. of mine).

I said:
I am very surprised indeed that the Mormons you spoke of claimed that God had a wife - this is the first I've heard of it (though then again I have limited experience of Mormon ideas).

Well, I've been investigating this further, and found that while they do believe this, they do not allow speculation about, or praying to The Goddess. One Mormon who wrote a book called "God the Mother" about the Mormon "Heavenly Mother" was summoned to LSD Church court, and excommunicated. In fact, Iw as also recently told that there is a statue of Her in the Salt Lake City Temple, but very few know whom it is, believinbg it merely to be the Virgin, Mary. So, this person asled someone who worked there, and they told him. It's a beeautiful white state of a woman with a crown standing among animals and fruits and flowers, almost as stoney-offerings. I began to pray to Her, I believe, when I was about 12 or 13.

And, again (because I have the gift of gab) thank you for the warm welcome!

Blessed Be,