You might be a Pagan If ...


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I take it everyone's seen this which is doing the rounds? Well, it made me smile

You might be a Pagan If ...

When you're sworn in in court, you bring your own grimoire.

You've been seen talking to cats. They talk back. You understand what they're saying.

When asked if you believe in God, you ask, "Which one?"

You know what "widdershins" means. You apply it.

You have an entire spice cabinet and you don't cook.

You know that laurel and bay leaves are the same thing.

You have a frequent buyer card at the local antique bookstore.

The proprietor of said bookstore picks out anything to do with the Celts and saves it for you.

You know that there are exceptions to the laws of physics. You've caused them.

The first thing your guests say is, "My, that's a nice...shrine... you have there."

On Halloween, you yell "Happy New Year!" at passers-by.

You know that Christmas trees were originally pagan symbols. That's why you bought one.

You have friends who say they are elves. You believe them.

You commit blasphemy in the plural.

Upon dying, your first thought is, "Damn it, not AGAIN."

When you say "Mother Nature," you don't mean it in an anthropomorphic way.

Gaia is NOT the lady on Captain Planet.

You think The Mists of Avalon should be a religious text. You use it as such.

In RI, you were disappointed because they didn't cover YOUR gods.

You know that there is a right way and a wrong way to draw a pentacle. You can explain the difference.

You've spent the last year and a half looking for a familiar.

You talk to trees. They talk back.

You know dragons and faeries exist. You've seen them.

Painting yourself blue, spiking your hair, and dancing naked around a bonfire sounds like large amounts of fun.

You've seen "The Craft." You know where they were making stuff up in "The Craft." You have explained this to other people. You can do it better than they did it in "The Craft." You know it's a load of crap.

You understand the symbolism behind a maypole.

You've ever ended a phone call with "so mote it be."

Your children go around telling people that "the Goddess loves you."

You consider unicorns to be an endangered species.

You commonly (and frequently accidentally) call the days of the week by alternate names: Sunday, Moonday, Tyr's Day, Woden's Day, Thurse Day, Frigga-Day, Satyr Day.

You keep wondering what year this is, as that whole time-travel thing has you confused.

The Futhark or the Theban alphabet (one of them) was the first alphabet you learned to write.

When someone says they have a headache, you pull out White Willow Bark and a Crystal Healing Kit.

You wonder why the Pope doesn't have any concubines in his position of obvious power.

Your candles outnumber your light bulbs.

Your telephone, computer, radio, television, or other electronic device is in a spot where you can protect the rest of the house from it.

You feel inclined to dance around and/or jump over a campfire, and keep piling wood on it because it's not a proper bonfire.

You go on religious pilgrimages that end up in or pass through (with a stop) any of the following: Nepal, the Burning Man festival, the woods (nearby or not), Stonehenge, the Pyramids or any other place with a usable pyramid, Salem (Massachusetts), Eerie (Indiana), Avalon, Atlantis, anywhere where there are standing stones or burial mounds, any cave with drawings older than the nation it's in, or pretty much any place wild.

You really do wonder why the faeries keep hiding from you... after all, you're one of them.

You keep getting mistaken by religious zealots for someone Satanic, or you are directly called by these same zealots a "devil- worshipper" or some such.

You like the movie "The Matrix" for its philosophical content more than its technological aspects.

You can accurately quote the Bible better than your Born Again neighbour, relate said scripture to parallel sources in other cultures and religions, and rebut it all from quotes of the Seth books or material you have channelled on your own.

You constantly wonder why all the decent people in the world are in hiding.

You're reading this page.

You understand what it's talking about