shattered illusions...?

Francis king

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don't know if this is an appropriate place to post this, but thought I'd have a ramble/rant, and this seems as good a place as any... regardless...

...I have been online now for a while, and have spent a few years involved in a specific online community... I like to think I am relatively intelligent, and am generally observant, and thought I had most of the personalities there pegged... I hung around as I liked the place, and in the beginning we had a laugh and the ppl were friendly enough...

recently though I was advised by another member to open my eyes, and look a little further at the group, and so I have, and I have noticed a change in a few of the members' conduct there, as individuals and also in their behaviour towards me, and I am a little unsettled by this...

individually, these changes amount to nothing, but taken together they seem to suggest that I am actually oblivious to the real motives of some of my fellow participants, and these motives may not be especially savoury...

when ppl first join (and yes, they do pay subs) most ppl seem not particularly knowledgable but personable... of course, the "gurus" look for those who will play follow the leader, but it's not a game I play and so tend not to get involved with what I call site politics... eventally we all get to know a little about each other, and we learn of each other's passions, and we generally all rub along okay...

regardless, things have started to change...

it started a while ago- a new member disclosed in chat that they were hearing voices, and they thought these were spirits... the member thought they had "attached spirits"; souls of the dead haunting them who had latched onto their consciousness, and this was effecting their lives... at the time i was working in an acute psychiatric ward, and was concerned about their mental health, so spoke in-depth to the member and it transpired that this person was currently on anti-psychotics and these attached spirits were telling him to kill his girlfriend...

unfortately, several of the members had confirmed the person's suspicion that these voices were not hallucinations, but spirits, and this new member was coming to the conclusion that they did not need the anti-psychs anymore and should start to work with these voices, and allow them to have more significance than they already did.

I of course, was bothered by this, and suggested, perhaps wrongly, that we should not be encouraging a person who is hearing voices telling him to kill that he should become a medium, for very obvious reasons, but I think I put somebody's nose out of joint...

after this, our ability to pm each other was taken away- we were told this feature was now disabled because members had been talking about others and stirring trouble, but I myself had never been made party to anything salacious, as i am not in the right gang, obviously...

around the same time I noticed that my some of my posts were not being submitted- I assumed I had some kind of glitch- connection problems, etc, and then some of my posts started to be deleted... when mods move stuff around yes, sometimes things go missing, but they were shall we say, treasured posts, ones i'd put a lot of effort into, and a lot went missing in a short space of time...

anyhow, a while later the site was hijacked and the shop and boards were hacked, etc, and basically I was informed that it was considered I was the culprit, and my ability to edit and delete posts etc was taken away...

since then the members have become a bit cold towards me, and well, if they think I'm a hacker then, hey, fair enough, but I have problems resizing photos, never mind hacking...

now there appears to be a deliberate site policy to ignore me- previously friendly members leave as soon as I arrive, to the extent where I feel like Moses parting the Red Sea, my comments are ignored, etc...

now as nobody can pm now, apart from the mods, for this to be happenning deliberately, and not just be my paranoia, it has to be my fellow mods who are giving the old ignore orders...

I spoke to another member, who suggested that, in truth, nobody there actually likes me and they never have, as I upset the status quo- they have simply been waiting for me to submit the rest of my class notes (yes, I run a class there) and then I will be superfluous to requirements and will suddenly find myself shut down and banned from site. My class will then be retitled and delivered by another member, who they have already chosen...

how much does that suck!
 

flowperson

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Hi Francis

Things always change, sometimes not for the best. Over the years, when I have had this sort of thing happen to me, in real life not virtual, I've just walked away, started over, and decided that when and if I had stuck around and wallowed in the mud with the pigs I'd have only gotten more dirty. Look at it this way, it's easier to make virtual breakups happen to your eventual advantage than real life breakups, so I'd just move on and find another community which appreciates your talents and personality traits. Just my two cents worth.

flow....:)
 

17th Angel

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Have you seen the little piggies crawling in the d
I spoke to another member, who suggested that, in truth, nobody there actually likes me and they never have, as I upset the status quo- they have simply been waiting for me to submit the rest of my class notes (yes, I run a class there) and then I will be superfluous to requirements and will suddenly find myself shut down and banned from site. My class will then be retitled and delivered by another member, who they have already chosen...

how much does that suck!


*reads.... hmmm mmm, hmmm* *gets to the last paragraph... aha!*

Who cares? lol... That's the way you have to look at it, when you are in a cold enviroment, to be more comfortable.... adapt... lol If you are really that bothered by what people think... How do you live day to day? If you take everything people say to heart, they don't like you? f' um.... You upset them? f' um.... You are who you are, you cannot really prove you didn't do it, unless you can trace and catch the person who did, but do you really want to go that much effort to help a bunch of two faced t***s? They will just start to sharpen the knives for sticking in your back again at some point...

I guess.. Dunno, trying to think like a normally touchy touchy feely emotional person here lol.... If you went to all that work and they simply used you.... Do you want to go back? If the answer is no.... What's the problem?
 

Thomas

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yes, was writing it, and thinking- why am I still there..? lol

Hi Francis —

Was in the same place, as I'm sure you know, a few weeks ago, and if anything it shows just how much we invest in a community where we don't actually know the people we are talking to ... and we don't actually know the impact of what we say to each other.

In a public forum, and conducted along email lines, there isn't the depth of exchange you'd get if we were sitting down with pen and ink to write a letter.

All I can say is, regardless of those issues upon which we 'agree to disagree', on the issue of 'voices', I stand with you 100%, and I would stand by you on it if you ever wanted someone in your corner. I have missed that thread entirely, but if such is the case then I think this is perhaps one of the most important issues ever raised on this site (in my limited experience), bearing in mind heaven knows what might have happened ... and good for you for bothering to check out the alternatives.

Of course my reasoning might be different from yours, being the old traditionalist that I am ... but the other side of the coin is that if we were down the pub, then we'd have had a row, sorted it out, got the drinks in, and then had another row about whether it was going to be a Chinese or an Indian ... that kind of falling out/falling in can't happen in quite the same way here.

Anyway, as I know you can be as empathetic and insightful as you can be infuriating, that means either we'd hate each other on sight, fall in love, or settle somewhere between the two.

Thomas
 

Impqueen

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Surely even if it was a spirit, not voices, listening to it when it's telling you to kill someone is a bad idea and you need an exorcist, not to sit down and have a cosy chat with it :confused:. Bizarre. I hope the guy's girlfriend gets out of it ok.

It sounds like you're better off out of it.

Surely someone must have liked you at some point for you to be allowed to run a class?
 

Vajradhara

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just so i'm clear..

you are referring to this forum in particular?

i should like to say that i, at least, have no dislike for you or your views even if i don't happen to agree with them.

i'm also unaware that PM functionality has been compromised. i'll check into it should i need to.

metta,

~v
 

flowperson

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just so i'm clear..

you are referring to this forum in particular?

i should like to say that i, at least, have no dislike for you or your views even if i don't happen to agree with them.

i'm also unaware that PM functionality has been compromised. i'll check into it should i need to.

metta,

~v

Hi Vaj...good to talk with you again. I believe that Francis' OP was referring to another site that she had been active in for some time and where she had come to a position of respect and responsibility . Since she responded positively to my suggestion to just walk away, I assume that this was the case.

I'm also quite upset about the Tibetan and Buddhist succession problem myself. I heard the Dalai Lama in Chicago years ago, a remarkable human being. I recall that as a time of great hope for positive outcomes (the 90's). That all doesn't seem to be the case now. I trust that you and yours are doing well.

flow....:)
 

Paladin

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Well, I'm glad you're here Francis, I always enjoy reading your posts, you have a quick mind, and good common sense to boot.

Mark
 

Vajradhara

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Namaste Flow,

thank you for the post and the update :)

with a change in Red Chinese leadership there was a great deal of hope recently that the 14 point dialog could be embarked upon again. however, the new minister assigned a very heavy handed and authoritarian governer of to manage the Tibetan areas and things have become markedly worse for native Tibetans.. though the ethnic Han that are arriving in the area are well provided for.

metta,

~v

Hi Vaj...good to talk with you again. I believe that Francis' OP was referring to another site that she had been active in for some time and where she had come to a position of respect and responsibility . Since she responded positively to my suggestion to just walk away, I assume that this was the case.

I'm also quite upset about the Tibetan and Buddhist succession problem myself. I heard the Dalai Lama in Chicago years ago, a remarkable human being. I recall that as a time of great hope for positive outcomes (the 90's). That all doesn't seem to be the case now. I trust that you and yours are doing well.

flow....:)
 
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