Passing religion onto to your children ?

GlorytoGod

GlorytoGod

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Do you intend to bring your children up with religion ?

Personally I dont and I thank my parents for not forcing religion on me.

I ask because I am an agnostic who converted to Islam so that I could get married but have since become a Christian however me being a Christian is going to cause huge problems with the Muslim in laws in the future, and I can see that I may have to return to the curse of Islam (just my personal opinion) just to keep the peace :eek:

However there is no way I would want to pass this on to my children I want them to be free to choose religion if they want it. A choice that they would not get in Islam and many other religions.
 
GlorytoGod said:
Do you intend to bring your children up with religion ?

Personally I dont and I thank my parents for not forcing religion on me.

I ask because I am an agnostic who converted to Islam so that I could get married but have since become a Christian however me being a Christian is going to cause huge problems with the Muslim in laws in the future, and I can see that I may have to return to the curse of Islam just to keep the peace :eek:

However there is no way I would want to pass this on to my children I want them to be free to choose religion if they want it. A choice that they would not get in Islam and many other religions.
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I loudly applaud that you put the independence of mind of your children so high on your priorities. The indoctrination of children into a fixed paradigm of faith and belief is to my mind no less than child abuse. What value can a religion have if it uses such underhand tactics to insure its next generation?
 
The only thing I intend for my children will be discipline and respect.... If they want to worship Allah, Jah, Mickey Mouse, Believe in Santa, Toothfairy, Heaven, Hell that is up to them... All I demand is repsect manners and discipline :)
 
As religion is 'a way of life' not put away after a sunday it would be kinda difficult not to influence them and inculcate your beliefs your truths but the educations system here is moving towards 'spiritual' understandings and a general morality focusing on more than one religion [and in some schools including humanism/athiesm] which should enable most children to make up their own mind by the time they are in their teens.
 
nativeastral said:
As religion is 'a way of life' not put away after a sunday it would be kinda difficult not to influence them and inculcate your beliefs your truths
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yes of course

but the educations system here is moving towards 'spiritual' understandings and a general morality focusing on more than one religion [and in some schools including humanism/athiesm] which should enable most children to make up their own mind by the time they are in their teens.
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unless children are raised in a Muslim environment in which case they are not able to leave without being cast out by family and neighbors and maybe even threatened with death as most scholars agree the punishment for leaving Islam is death. I think leaving say Hinduism or Christianity can also be very hard and may incur rejection by family and community.

I would hate to pass on this stuff to my Children.
 
GlorytoGod said:
yes of course



unless children are raised in a Muslim environment in which case they are not able to leave without being cast out by family and neighbors and maybe even threatened with death as most scholars agree the punishment for leaving Islam is death. I think leaving say Hinduism or Christianity can also be very hard and may incur rejection by family and community.

I would hate to pass on this stuff to my Children.
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In Britain its perhaps 50/50 whether a young muslim for eg has such strict parents that they would reject them outright [maybe more difficult for daughters in general?] but yes the fact is that religion is a 'bind', inextricably bound to family, not a belief of assent but descent makes a difference; here in Britain individualism is fairly developed but in other religions communal comes first.
 
Tao_Equus said:
I loudly applaud that you put the independence of mind of your children so high on your priorities. The indoctrination of children into a fixed paradigm of faith and belief is to my mind no less than child abuse. What value can a religion have if it uses such underhand tactics to insure its next generation?
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Though I understand the sentiment, Tao, I think that this idea is absurd. As a high school teacher who has years of experience teaching both in regular settings and in alternative education (basically, classes for kids who have been expelled from regular high schools), I can say with complete confidence that there is a correlation between students who have been brought up with a religious background of any kind, and student success. Students who admit to having religious beliefs are, on the whole, more apt to be well behaved and respectful, more apt to be self-confident, more apt to take school seriously, and thus more apt to achieve well in school, and in life in general. I'm not saying that religion is the answer to problems in school, but the idea that parents who bring their children up to believe in a set of admirable values are being irresponsible or abusive is positively ridiculous in the face of reality.
 
GlorytoGod said:
yes of course



unless children are raised in a Muslim environment in which case they are not able to leave without being cast out by family and neighbors and maybe even threatened with death as most scholars agree the punishment for leaving Islam is death. I think leaving say Hinduism or Christianity can also be very hard and may incur rejection by family and community.

I would hate to pass on this stuff to my Children.
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I doubt very many hindus or christians are that way today and none that I have met personally. They may not approve easily but they still see them as family and love them. Jews and muslims you hear of the rejection of immediate family quite often and I do know of them in literal cases. You will find bitter rejection for less than leaving the religion, but for marriage or dating as well. That type of fear in religion is a sad situation but they really believe that is what must happen.
 
My children are in my Sunday School class. They attend many of the church functions and by all appearance raised in our blasphemous Christian way...

They read the bible, they read the parables, we discuss the implications with the text and today, practical Christianity, how to make the scripture apply to life, their life, right here, right now.

That being said we also read Tolle, Chopra, Yohananda, Thay etc. We have friends that are Jewish and Muslim and have been at Seders, eaten in the little hut, been to brisses and baby namings.

I've exposed them to Hinduism, Bhuddism, Taoism, Judaism, and Islam. They go to public school and learn evolution and science. They (as well as the rest of the sunday school class) are open to ask any question, question any scripture and state their viewpoints, misgivings, and understandings...

Yes, I'm passing my religion on to my children and can't wait to see what in 10, 20 or 30 years they pass on to me!
 
Here's how I look at it. I raised my children the best way I know how. Because of my experience in biblical principles and in my experience in a relationship with the Lord that has benefitted me and my wife, I don't see that I need to raise them any other way. It is in this paradigm that a unity of faith and love emerges that I don't find necessary to disrupt by confusing them in any other ways.

I would feel the same way if I were Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, or Hindu, if it meant that they would grow to be the best Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, or Hindu.

Why complicate matters when what is working is sufficient? Why teach them what I don't know when what I do know is good enough?
 
Peace--
I feel sad for you because you started the marriage on a deception. You were not really a Muslim yet you claimed to be. I think for your in-laws it be much better deal if you just remained who you were and let your current spouse decide whether she wants you the way you are or not. This way, you not only started to hate Islam more than you probably did and you will make people dislike you more than they already did.

For me personally, if I ever have children, yes I will bring up my children in my religion Islam. It rocks to be a Muslim whithout having to be forced to become one :D
By the way, my parents never forced religion on me. Although they both were born Muslim by Muslim parents, neither of them are practicing the faith as much. They never forced me to study or practice Islam besides the basics (pray whenever, avoid pork, the 10 biblical commandments that are reaffirmed by islam, do not engage in sex outside/before marriage that type a stuff). As a kid I did not care much, but as a young adult my worldview changed. Islam has brought much happiness into my life. I hope that my parents join me in my journey, but I will not force them to.
If I have kids, I will introduce the religion to them the way my grandmother did to me. I will not force them to do things, but will make every step in Islam be a pleasant one for them so they grew to love it even more. However, what happens to them when they become adults will be out of my hands. But inshaAllah, God will guide them (if I ever get kids). :)
Peace.
 
Amica said:
Peace--
I feel sad for you because you started the marriage on a deception. You were not really a Muslim yet you claimed to be. I think for your in-laws it be much better deal if you just remained who you were and let your current spouse decide whether she wants you the way you are or not. This way, you not only started to hate Islam more than you probably did and you will make people dislike you more than they already did.
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I was a muslim, I gave it ago learnt prayers etc went to mosque etc, I gave it up for several reasons not least because my wife was not practising and it was starting to cause tension in our marriage, as for the in laws they are not stupid and new the score. and you should not pass judgement so hastily since you dont have all the facts.

For me personally, if I ever have children, yes I will bring up my children in my religion Islam. It rocks to be a Muslim whithout having to be forced to become one :D
By the way, my parents never forced religion on me. Although they both were born Muslim by Muslim parents, neither of them are practicing the faith as much. They never forced me to study or practice Islam besides the basics (pray whenever, avoid pork, the 10 biblical commandments that are reaffirmed by islam, do not engage in sex outside/before marriage that type a stuff). As a kid I did not care much, but as a young adult my worldview changed. Islam has brought much happiness into my life. I hope that my parents join me in my journey, but I will not force them to.
If I have kids, I will introduce the religion to them the way my grandmother did to me. I will not force them to do things, but will make every step in Islam be a pleasant one for them so they grew to love it even more. However, what happens to them when they become adults will be out of my hands. But inshaAllah, God will guide them (if I ever get kids). :)
Peace.
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personaly I would not want to pass on a death sentence to my children, as many scholars agree the punishment for leaving is death :eek:

i think its good you dont want to force religion on children though.
 
i think that the main thing is for them to have freedom of choice in this, its there if they want it, but it wont be forced on them not in my household anyway.
 
shawn said:
Why handicap them any more than the world already does?
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Values aren't a handicap; they're the opposite, because they provide stability and guidance. Say what you want about religion (for the most part I'll likely agree :D), but the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, as the book of proverbs says. Beating a kid over the head with a Bible is counterproductive, but so is pretending that a young child is mature enough to handle unlimited intellectual freedom.
 
I have taught my children that there is a God IMO (even though no one really knows who or what that being may be) but they have to figure out what they will believe about that for themselves.
I have taught them the golden rule, to wit: that which is hurtful to you, do not do to another, and the modern variation of: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
I discuss the tenets of the religions on a regular basis (it is a staple item in the intellectual diet of my house).
So I have no problem with the values part of religion and encourage it.
But I see that becoming an adherent to a religious tradition just because it is what your parents do will, most of the time, handicap those children intellectually by locking them into a paradigm of bias and falsehood, which they will have a hard time then unlearning as they learned t when they were children and those habits are hard to shake, sometimes impossible.
 
Glory--
You seem very much alive to me :D--thank God SWT. I understand that some Muslim communities practice death punishment for apostates. I am not a Muslim scholar, but I would argue with them and anyone that the Holy Qur'an does not support the death penalty for apostasy. I think that a lot of the 'sharia' laws come from the collection of hadiths which are made by men.
I am sorry if you feel that I was judging you/accusing you for leaving Islam. You yourself stated in your post that you converted to Islam only to be able to marry the person you married. And the way you sound in the post makes it seem that you never really wanted to convert to Islam in the first place (the tone of your post makes it seem like that). So, I was just observing that you deceived yourself and the in-laws. But what kind of people are they anyway to want to have a son in law who pretends to be like them, anyway? Dude, I don't know about you, but I would run the hell away from the whole family--no matter the love, man.
Peace.
 
Marsh said:
Though I understand the sentiment, Tao, I think that this idea is absurd. As a high school teacher who has years of experience teaching both in regular settings and in alternative education (basically, classes for kids who have been expelled from regular high schools), I can say with complete confidence that there is a correlation between students who have been brought up with a religious background of any kind, and student success. Students who admit to having religious beliefs are, on the whole, more apt to be well behaved and respectful, more apt to be self-confident, more apt to take school seriously, and thus more apt to achieve well in school, and in life in general. I'm not saying that religion is the answer to problems in school, but the idea that parents who bring their children up to believe in a set of admirable values are being irresponsible or abusive is positively ridiculous in the face of reality.
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I too understand where you are coming from. However I would seriously question the bias you imply on religious parents holding some kind of monopoly on bringing up their children with a decent sense of morality or ability to succeed academically. Here in the UK the majority of university graduates are are agnostic or atheist and come from agnostic or atheistic families and contrary to your implication are not destined to a low-life of moral vacuum.
No religion has the high ground on moral teaching and the atheist manifestation of a moral base, Humanism, surpasses by far the sheer hypocrisy of people who can recite the odd excerpt from between the genocidal rantings of their moral books of guidance.
I suggest that what you have observed in your time as a teacher has nothing to do with the errant students lacking religion but rather there are social factors at play that are the real cause. In my experience an atheist that has taken the trouble to think through things for themselves naturally develops the idea that religion is contrary to an inclusive morality and is a handicap to true educational enlightenment.
 
Tao_Equus said:
I too understand where you are coming from. However I would seriously question the bias you imply on religious parents holding some kind of monopoly on bringing up their children with a decent sense of morality or ability to succeed academically. Here in the UK the majority of university graduates are are agnostic or atheist and come from agnostic or atheistic families and contrary to your implication are not destined to a low-life of moral vacuum.
No religion has the high ground on moral teaching and the atheist manifestation of a moral base, Humanism, surpasses by far the sheer hypocrisy of people who can recite the odd excerpt from between the genocidal rantings of their moral books of guidance.
I suggest that what you have observed in your time as a teacher has nothing to do with the errant students lacking religion but rather there are social factors at play that are the real cause. In my experience an atheist that has taken the trouble to think through things for themselves naturally develops the idea that religion is contrary to an inclusive morality and is a handicap to true educational enlightenment.
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What's that you were saying about bias? ;)

You can suggest all you want, Tao, but have you actually seen? Because I have. What was there in my tone to suggest that I was pushing a Christian agenda? Did I not say that students "of every religion" seemed better adjusted? And where did I say that a student who came from no religious background was destined for moral corruption? I was simply stating a correlation-- one that you apparently are quite disturbed by. Regardless, what I've said is based on observation rather than speculation.

It's also kind of funny how you point out that these agnostic and atheist children are being brought up in agnostic and atheist homes. If those agnostic and atheist familes were indeed as UNBIASED as we religious types are, wouldn't probability say that more of them would eventually use their own free minds to explore spiritual things?

Yeah..........................
 
Marsh said:
What's that you were saying about bias? ;)

You can suggest all you want, Tao, but have you actually seen? Because I have. What was there in my tone to suggest that I was pushing a Christian agenda? Did I not say that students "of every religion" seemed better adjusted? And where did I say that a student who came from no religious background was destined for moral corruption? I was simply stating a correlation-- one that you apparently are quite disturbed by. Regardless, what I've said is based on observation rather than speculation.
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Well you live in a very different country to me. Here a newscaster signing off with god on his lips would be a sensational outrage. With the exception of a Polish girlfriend I know no one, with the notable exception of two criminals, who attend any church. I know religion has no bearing on the ability to excel and no matter your experience my belief will remain that way.
It's also kind of funny how you point out that these agnostic and atheist children are being brought up in agnostic and atheist homes. If those agnostic and atheist familes were indeed as UNBIASED as we religious types are, wouldn't probability say that more of them would eventually use their own free minds to explore spiritual things?

Yeah..........................
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Yes. And hopefully honestly enough to do so without the institutions of faith.
 
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