It seems to me that we spend a lot of time waiting. For myself, I am exhausted and irritated with waiting. My discontent with the present moment is caused by this waiting. I know that but seem to have less than adequate means to rectify this. The only peace I get from this waiting is in those too rare moments when I miraculously shift into that calm place where there does not seem to be much thinking going on. But this does not last for long and I am back to waiting. Meditation helps a little and contemplation helps too. Helps to keep me aligned and all that. But ultimately I am left alone with myself and this waiting. Does it end only in death or does it not end even then?
The question appears to be for yourself. I'm not waiting. It reminds me of when someone said youth us wasted on the young. My buddy said, "I don't know what you were doing but we didn't <expletive deleted> waste it.
One summer in my teens we saw the futility in lying under the tree in the summer saying, "I don't know, what do you wanna do?". Its been pretty busy then on.
I think this waiting for the future, because the present is intolerable, has a very large psychological component, which in my opinion is best approached on a psychological level. If the only remedies seem to be blanking out or death, then it is worth the psychological work to find out why one cannot bear one's own presence, what led to this, and what can be done about that. This work is doable and rewarding, and best done together with a professional who knows what they are doing. Otherwise, what has been termed "spiritual bypassing" is likely to occur. The deep yearning, on the other hand, which is based on attraction rather than revulsion, is a natural foundation for spiritual work. My two cents.
I wait for the train. I wait for the green light. I wait for payday. I wait for love. I wait for understanding. What or who is waiting for you?
Thank you. The calm I was referring to is not a ‘blanking out’ or a numbing. I do know times when I am most happy in my self. I know then that my life is quite perfect exactly as it is. But there is also a shifting out of this back to a dullness. Maybe the waiting I do is the waiting of those times of calm which I can never ‘try’ for. Trying never works. And I suppose this is the waiting.
Perhaps the 'samadhi' experience cannot be held. There is the experience of spiritual happiness/bliss -- the divine touch -- and then always the return to the ordinary world of nature that our natural bodies of flesh inhabit?
Nothing lasts forever. If the stillness is a state, something that's added to experience, then it will go away again at some point, as every state will. "Spiritual materialism", this cute pun by an alcoholic abusive dead guru, can be a pretty good pointer nevertheless. Waiting for the next goodie to consume. Anyway, I usually like to read something to pass the time. How do you pass time while waiting?
I think the phrase "Spiritual Materialism" was first coined by Chögyam Trungpa. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chögyam_Trungpa
Good point Someone said it to me a long time ago and it has stayed useful to me so, happy to pass it along ...
This thread reminds me of a post I made several years ago after a Rabbi friend of the family spoke at our Mandir:
I am curious, what is it you are waiting for that you don't already have? The secret is in your perspective.
