HELP!!!!Can couples of 2 faiths work?!!!

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hammer

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I'm not confortable with this at all. I see christianity as a threat and have always done so. I don't trust it and I fear it....BUT... I love her deeply and she feels that she needs to do this. I can't won't and have no right to stop her. I just need to find a way of accepting it.

I have My own beliefs (DIY religion :) ) and believe myself to be a very spiritual person - But I guess that I am not accepting of other religions, especially christianity - had a few falling outs in the past. This post is not an attack on Christians - if it works for you go for it.....But I need a way to accept this change in this wonderful person. Anyone got any pointers? This is really doing my head in.

ANyway, like I said....I'm not having a crack at christians here....THIS IS MY ISSUE - But if anyone has been in a similar position I would greatly appreciate hearing from them.

Can couples of 2 differing faiths work? Anyone in this situation? I'm terrified that I won't be able to accept this new change in her. I love this woman and am quite convinced that she is the one. Please help. I don't want to lose her out of my own fears.

H.
 
I know several couples who have had interfaith relationships work for a long time now. It is not so much about being on the same page with your faiths as it is being respectful and supportive of each other. If each of you is respectful of the other's religious beliefs and spiritual path, supporting one another in it and loving the other person without judgment, it can work. I've even seen it work between atheists and Christians. Where it seems to fall apart for some couples I know of is when one person decides their partner *needs* to convert and starts evangelizing to them all the time. This tends to make the other person understandably offended and hurt. The danger is also there for one person to worry constantly about the other, thinking they are heading for hell or something.

However, if people set up the boundaries clearly from the beginning and each have faith that God is working in each other's lives rather than being attached to a religious label, interfaith reliationships can and do work. Personally, I would talk with her about your worries and work out a plan for action in your relationship that will be satisfying to you both and will be clear about your needs of support in having spiritual freedom in your DIY path.
 
The Bible tells us not to be of unequal yolk. This means that Christians are to find another Christian to be their husband or wife.
 
Kindest Regards, all!

Does not the Bible also teach that an unbelieving husband is blessed for the sake of his believing wife? That if they find it well to be with each other and are true and faithful to each other, that God will continue to bless their union? Obviously the words are my paraphrase, but it is late and I can't stay.

Hammer, while I may have my own issues with DIY religion, concerning your question I would say if your heart leads you to be true to her, and she to you, then let no man (or woman) come between you. In the end, your salvation is between you and God, and hers is between her and God. Best of wishes to you both! :)
 
"usually because people who arent Christians have a hard time with the Christian faith."

Thats so true! I guess its because no one likes to be told they're wrong, bad, and an enemy of God. If thats not the reason why, then surely its the obvious -- People hate truth.
 
I'm pretty sure it's the former. Most non-Christians I know do not hate truth. They do, however, get annoyed at being told by Christians that they are "wrong, bad, and an enemy of God." After all, Christians get annoyed at being told that by folks of other religions who also wholeheartedly believe their truth is The Truth, so it stands to reason that non-Christians would also find it offensive.
 
Knowledge said:
Thats so true! I guess its because no one likes to be told they're wrong, bad, and an enemy of God.
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Especially those who claim to be able to speak for God. :)

But as for a couple working when of different backgrounds - why is her faith even an issue for you?? If you were both comfortable as people with one another, then this would not be so much of an issue? That you perceive it so suggests that you are perhaps not comfortable with her as a person, which is not a good sign, yes?
 
hammer is my message to you, God is unity and there is only one God. Try and search for the spiritual truth in all religions and you should be ok. Accept her religion as much as you accept your own, it can work.
 
As a couple, it might work, but, you might want to consider (and discuss beforehand): what happens if you decide to become a family?? what will you teach your children??
 
There are pastors that will not marry a Christian to a non-Christian..yet there are many instances when one person in a marriage comes to Christ and that person leads the other to the Lord.. that happened with my parents. Then there are times when the other person cannot be led to the Lord. Then the Christian half of the marriage has a hard time spiritually...Ive been there. I prayed that God either bring him to the Jesus or give me the means to leave.. and after a year He gave me the means to leave. By that time I had lost the love I had for this man that I had been with for 10 years.

It was very hard because everytime I talked about Jesus in my own home I would be ridiculed...he would scoff and tell me that noone could possibly understand the bible. It was hard to live in that situation because Jesus became the most important person in my life and he could not accept the changes in me.
 
Interfaith relationships can and do work.

I've been with my partner for over sixteen years now, and we are of different faiths. The key is that we respect each other and do not seek to convert each other.

If you are trying to convert your spouse then I would wonder if you are really respecting them. If you don't respect them, they why are you with them?
 
I agree with you there if you respect your spouse then anything is possible. I'm guessing its not going to be easy but if you work hard and make the effort it will work out for you both.


Best of luck

Geist
 
I think it's not only respecting the spouse, but the whole spouse, including their beliefs & faith - whether or not you share them. And it has to go both ways.... (been there, done that, got the attorney fees...)

If you are scared by your spouse's religious beliefs, then you will be ill at ease, and it will carry over to the rest of the relationship. If one considers the other's beliefs "unworthy" or "wrong", that too will carry over. The catch is that if that situation exists, the *couple* will have to work on it - as a joint issue, to find either middle ground or a working compromise.
 
well desire is a choice, and you chose to desire your religion right? With that you have come to accept and cherish it. Perhaps you have to choose to desire the acceptance of her religion. You will eventually if you love her as much as you say you do. Its all mental and you can defeat your hatred and past if you try. If you cant, she is not the girl for you and you have to accept that.
 
hello:)
i tend to think interfaith relationships can work if both take the view that other religions or beliefs are also valid. it can and as far as i have seen does become a problem if either consider their way the only way. also the possibility of future children should be considered. overall i would say it can work...but it's difficult.
i think you need to discuss a lot of issues together before making a decision either way. if you can make it work, best wishes to you, no one likes to lose their love. but if you can't make it work, it's better to discover that sooner rather than later.
 
Hello, and Peace--

Hammer, I know a couple that have been married for over twenty years. She is Catholic, and he is Muslim. They have two beautiful, smart, happy, and culturally rich children together.

miclason said:
As a couple, it might work, but, you might want to consider (and discuss beforehand): what happens if you decide to become a family?? what will you teach your children??
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Somehow, my friends have managed to agree on teaching the kids about both faiths, and letting the children decide on their own. It takes remarkable love and respect within that family. They have to be very devoted to making things work, and not "compete" with one another.

There may also be relationships with other family members to consider--you must decide how you will handle it. My friends go their separate ways on separate holidays, and share the children with each other's families, and then they celebrate their own reunion when they all meet up back at home again. It is amazing to watch.

juantoo3 said:
Does not the Bible also teach that an unbelieving husband is blessed for the sake of his believing wife? That if they find it well to be with each other and are true and faithful to each other, that God will continue to bless their union?
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1 Corinthians 7:14 states: "For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy."

If you are already married or might as well be, and especially if you have children or plan on having them, you really must respect each other and communicate with each other. If a Catholic and a Muslim can do it, then maybe you two can, as well. I wish you the best.

InPeace,
InLove
 
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