A Last Request

Some thoughts...

One cannot stop one from giving any gift. However how one receives the gift is the choice of the receiver.

Without making a fuss of it...two services. The church does what it feels it must do. Just as anyone walking through the cemetary in the future, may say prayers or blessings over anyone and everyone's grave, we have no choice in this matter.

However you can listen to the service, with the ear of one 'listening' for those words your father would recognize as true, 'hearing' the other words without rejection allowing it to flow beyond you and your father.

And then when the church completes and fullfills their required ceremony allow a time and space for family and friends that know his wishes to celebrate his life as he would like...

86, how joyous, and to have you loving and caring for him and his wishes at this time, what a blessing you are. And I agree with your comments on birth and life and death. Hospice and honoring death is growing in the US, societies all treat this, the culmination of life so differently, often times not wishing to face it, tis a shame.
Kindest Regards, Ciel!

I am very sorry for your loss. You and yours are in my prayers. I wish you well whatever way you choose to solve this. I wish I had decent advice to offer, others here have offered far more than I could.
To say, thank you all,

It,s been quite a time, but things are proceeding, and now it feels things are proceeding in the right way. It shall be two services, the first at a non-denominational ancient chapel on land I always considered blessed, and with a humanist minister. And he shall be played out to Rhapsody in Blue, Gershwin, though we won't be forgetting, Somewhere over the rainbow too.

Then to the awaiting double grave, assisted by the church of england canon, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

I called the Archdeacon, the Archdeacon, called back, answer machine to answer machine,so far.But he sounds caring, I look forward to speaking to him, human to human.

And this is the human approach, the need for a greater understanding and bridge between the church and 21st century spirituality.

There is one prayer I have included in the service;

God, give us serenity to accept what cannot be changed,
courage to change what should be changed,
and wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

Thank You.