Judging Others

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Cage

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I've been noticing this a lot lately. Mosty with other religious groups, but we are all guilty of judging others, aren't we? Not that I view it as a major sin, but I think it makes a person seem high minded, and that in and of itself is a judgement, lol. :eek:

Why do we do it? Wouldn't life be much more enjoyable if we put aside our judgements and simply accepted others for who they are? Wouldn't that give way to a certain inner peace, and turn us from allowing others control of our emotions?

Some might say we're just observing, but our observations are based on subjective experience, so our limited observations of another bear no real light as to 'who' that person is...still we judge, ridicule, insult, and reject others based on our these observations. What then, do our judgement of others say about ourselves?

That's my question...


James
 
I had a neighbor, I'd say a bigoted neighbor but that would be judgemental...

Who inisted it wasn't prejudice he practiced but postjudice...

ie he based his current position on others based on what he'd seen in the past.

Of course he did extend those postjudice thoughts onto folks of similar race, creed, religion or sexual orentation based on the past experiences...

Judgemental, Prejudice, Justificating all pretty tricky areas.

All I have to do is think about others being judgemental and all my judgemental thoughts pop up.
 
When I am disturbed because I feel like I am under a microscope, I usually find this to be an excellent opportunity to take a peek as well. :)

InPeace,
InLove
 
Its the freakin mirror theory....I dislike the mirror and the theory...

Falls into the Dali Lama's, "You know you are enlightened when everyone you see you see as enlightened"

The mirror says, everytime you see a trait in someone you dislike it is because you have that trait in you and you dislike it. That those we bring into our realm are reflections of ourselves (ourcellves).

Oh, I don't like that mirror...(or bloody microscope either for that matter)

How many classes did I sign up for? And when will I matriculate?
 
Good point, InLove, but it's very hard to take a peak at self from the inside and see the same thing when others are looking from the outside. The two perceptions are usually at great odds with each other. The person under the microscope knows their true intentions, while those looking from the outside in only get a glimps of what is truly there.

Then, the same can be said for self evaluation...often times we are blind to what others see and perhaps a bit biased to boot.

Why then, with such contrast in perceptions, do we still judge knowing this truth; we attempt to justify our judgements, and often times, we pursue seperation as opposed to unity with one another?

It's all quite disturbing when you think about it. As wil suggested, it could be that we are seeing things in others that we don't like about ourselves, so is the solution to remove the mirror, or stop looking at self in such a negative light? Maybe there is no solution...

I appologize if the question is offensive to anyone. Self evaluation isn't always easy, but we all do it from time to time...including me.

Thanks, InLove. The lense needs cleaning, but I'll take a peak from the inside as soon as I can find the darn thing! ;)


James
 
Hey Cage and wil and Everyone here--

I hope you both know that I wasn't speaking to or about anyone in particular. Just following the stream of thought and responding. :)

InPeace,
InLove
 
wil said:
Its the freakin mirror theory....I dislike the mirror and the theory...

Falls into the Dali Lama's, "You know you are enlightened when everyone you see you see as enlightened"
Click to expand...


I've always thought of enlightenment as the realization of the true self; Junk and all. I think we're all the same, and that part of the process of realization is the realization, or awarness that we are one. (One body, one mind, one soul, one Love)

I guess it comes down to accepting self, which is a tough one to pull off at times...


Love,


InLove said:
I hope you both know that I wasn't speaking to or about anyone in particular. Just following the stream of thought and responding.
Click to expand...


Your statement hit home, but that's a good thing. I think we all need to pull out the scope from time to time. Great advice...


Love,
 
InLove said:
Hey Cage and wil and Everyone here--

I hope you both know that I wasn't speaking to or about anyone in particular. Just following the stream of thought and responding. :)
Click to expand...
You serioiusly weren't concerned were you love?

Can you blame me for not totally appreciating that which shines a light on my issues? Or heaven forbid magnifies them??

While I realize all this is here for my growth and I appreciate it....do I have to like it too?
 
if it is true we see our own shortcomings and character defects reflected outside ourselves, then the things we admire in others, their compassion, humility, insight, love, devotion, etc must therefore be in us as well.


Peace
Mark
 
wil said:
While I realize all this is here for my growth and I appreciate it....do I have to like it too?
Click to expand...

LOL, wil--you are either going to love or hate my answer: Not always. :)

Paladin said:
if it is true we see our own shortcomings and character defects reflected outside ourselves, then the things we admire in others, their compassion, humility, insight, love, devotion, etc must therefore be in us as well.
Click to expand...

I put this quote in here because I just wanted to put things back like I found them. ;)

YES.

InPeace,
InLove
 
Just for the record, I wasn't pointing fingers at anyone. This is just a question that has been on my mind for a few days. The truth is that I feel the microscope invading me, and it hurts. Still, I know I do the same thing at times, and wanted to discuss the issue for the sake of all.

Again, I appologize for any offence, and paladin you're absolutely right...


James
 
Paladin said:
if it is true we see our own shortcomings and character defects reflected outside ourselves, then the things we admire in others, their compassion, humility, insight, love, devotion, etc must therefore be in us as well.
Click to expand...
yippee....the blessing....and we have to be accepting and grateful. Sometimes I think being overly humble in this regard negates some of the flow of good...
 
I think that you are all wonderful in any context, from what you all consistently say here day after day...and I say this knowing that you are all "the other". This perspective is inescapable owing to the fact that we are individualls within ourselves, and any interaction with another sentient being outside of this boundary that is "natural" for everyone, automatically sets up the potential for judgement activities within ourselves depending upon the nature of interactions.

I can only think of one set of circumstances of interaction between individuals that might not follow this paradigm, and that is sexual interactions. In this set of activities emotion overules reasoning, at least for some time, and judgemental activities just...go away for a while. But inevitably they return, often with disastrous consequences, but sometimes also with ongoing love and bliss.

flow....:)
 
This might help;
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
In my private life I simple 'judge' people on how they treat me (obviously things like mutual interests, hobbies etc come into play) and how they react to how I treat them-'Do unto others as you would have done unto you' kind of thing.
 
Perhaps we judge others because we perceive the world dualistically. This helps to maintain our ego. I try to beat mine down as often as I notice it, but it's a resilient little bugger.

It is said (by the Buddha) that the perfect view is no view. (referring to the OP).

s.
 
That's pretty profound, Snoopy. Have you ever met anyaone who holds no view. To me that almost seems like an impossibility; My ego is quite resiliant as well; I have a very strong sense of self, my id is an overbearing beast sometimes, and I think that fact is more of a burden than anything else. At least when it comes to others. I don't notice it so much, but other people do, lol


pfw, thanks for your thoughts.

flowperson, thanks for that post. I feel the same way towards the majority here on the boards. I have a great respect for you all, and have learned more from you then you guys know. I just get discouraged sometimes, and perhaps insecure even. Isn't that where our judgemental behavior stems from in the first place? (Our own insecurities about self)

I guess it's time to buck up a bit, and take everything/everyone for what thier worth...


Thanks,


James
 
Cage said:
Have you ever met anyaone who holds no view. To me that almost seems like an impossibility
Click to expand...
There is that chinese story about his son and going to war and a horse...that's good, that's bad?? gotta find it...

I think many folks across time have come close...not always able to hold the moment...often slipping between dualism and oneness. My preacher is known for his blank stare. He is not big on the bedside counseling stuff. When you bring your problems to him, he often doesn't see or hear your problems, he sits with this look and focuses on knowing that all is in G-d's hands and that he sees you and your situation as healthy, whole and solved to the best for all concerned.

Quite disconcerting when one doesn't take sides...but also quite the experience.
 
:) Hey James--

I tend to think that everyone has these struggles from time to time. However, in saying so, what I offer here is necessarily on one level, subjective. But within that subjective, I continually pursue the objective. If I am constantly aware of it, then perhaps it is where I live most of the time.

When I am as objective as possible, in the present moment, moment by moment, then it is easier for me to see the purpose of some troubling thing that has come into that moment--for example, the judgemental-sounding words of another individual. It helps me to seek the purpose of that "other". Why is he/she/the situation here, in this moment? Why these words? Why the pointing finger?

Sometimes I find that it has nothing whatsoever to do with my own perception. Sometimes, it is something the other person needs to work out for his or her "self". It's just that they don't know it yet. But in observing this, or even engaging in the situation, almost inevitably I learn something about "my self". It may not be what the other person has in mind for me. But it helps me see and participate in the purpose that I am apparently here for, whether I know it at the time or not!

LOL--I am reading this back to myself as I type it. I'd say I sound a bit confusing, or like I am talking in circles. Haha--I like those circles sometimes, because they bring "me" inside and outside "self" on a regular basis. (And wil, I am working on the spheres, lol--or maybe I am there already? You don't have to answer that, this is simply rhetorical musing on my part.)

In a less abstract way, I guess what I'm trying to say is that we all play a part in the lives of each other. We may not always know what our part is. That is why questioning our own view before we judge someone else's is helpful.

We don't always have to like what we find in ourselves or another person. The microscope is only one part of seeing. There is also the telescope. Don't beat yourself up (or let anyone else do it for you) before you investigate the different angles. ;)

I hope this post doesn't sound like too much jibberish.


InPeace,
InLove,
Deb

P.S. flow--interesting angle...I like it! And wil--just read your post, too--yeah, thinking something like what you've said. I'm not surprised at all. :)
 
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