What happens when we die?

Amy...I'm so sorry that your friend is gone. But he is obviously not forgotten in your mind or heart. In my view he still exists in your life in the form of loving memories.

I'll admit, this does not serve your or his needs in the same way as when you both were living. But having gone through this myself, it's just another form of a loving relationship, albeit a virtual one in your mind and heart.

But others also share these memories individually. Actively sharing memories of his life with them will bring his being closer to what it was for you I believe. Take care, and thank you for opening your heart to us.

Oh dear, Amy--I mistyped. My husband died when he was 42, not 32. Anyway, it seemed awfully young to me. I'm sorry--I just thought I should say something. And my offer to talk still stands, if you ever want. Or if you don't, just know that I am keeping you in my thoughts, and lifting you in Love.

Flow is right about talking with others who have memories of your loved one. I know it helped me so much.

Take care.


I am sorry for your loss and of course the loss of the life of the man himself. I believe a living person cannot truly "know" the answer to the question that you ask; that is my honest answer. That is not to declare that there is nothing, just that one cannot really know until it is our time.

Your question did put me in mind of this, taken from a book by a Pulitzer prize-winning professor of cognitive science:

"But it’s when he gets on to the end of life that he is at his most gripping. His wife, Carol, died of a sudden brain tumour at the age of 42, leaving two small children. He writes movingly about how the counselling he received was geared towards coping with his loss, when what chiefly upset him was her loss: primarily her loss of the consciousness to watch her children grow up.
But then it dawned on him. If “the self” comprises strange loops which, though created by the brain, float free of physical matter, then it follows that the self need not necessarily die when the brain dies. Could the loops not perhaps be supported, at least in “coarse-grained and approximate” form, within the mind patterns of someone close to the deceased person – someone who had loved that person very much and who had, over the years, been thoroughly infused with that person’s thought patterns and ideals (Hofstadter poetically calls this the “interpenetration of souls”)? In other words, can the self of a dead person literally live on, albeit as a kind of afterglow, in the minds of loved ones who are still alive, and finally fade away only when those people die in their turn?"

You are in my thoughts,

My first wife died at 28 of a long terminal illness. She had 1 near-death experience along the way when her long deceased mother had some rather extensive conversation with her. Returned later in a non-near-death moment to inform her that they would be together soon-she died 9 days following that announcement. No amount of reassurance to me of an afterlife of course assuaged my intense grief at the time. Yes it seems tragic to think of a life "cut short," but how can we know that a short life is not at many levels as "complete" of one's life purpose as a long one? take care, earl
I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death.

----Robert Fulghum.
Hi Miss Amy

I am so sorry for your loss and at such a young age. My personal belief is that your loved one will remain in the grave until the Day of Judgement and on that day he will have the honour of standing before G-d, where he goes from there will depend on how he spent his life. G-d takes us when He wants us, when we have spent the time here G-d appointed for us, hence children dying.

Try to think of this Amy, if there is an afterlife then he is somewhere that he feels no pain, no sorrow and no fear. If there is no afterlife then he now feels no pain, no sorrow and no fear.

I know that loss makes us all feel selfish, we are never ready to let go of ones we love and it leads us to question our lives but faith does in G-d and the next life does make it easier to accept.

I pray your pain and confusion will ease son.

Thanks Everyone.

And 17th... I am not usually big on lying to myself so the glazed over version is not waht I would usually want.

However... I have never so badly wanted to lie to myself...

Even if we look at my opinion of death, I believe it can still be seen in a positive way... As I said there is no more pain, stress sadness... Nothing just rest, you don't even have to get up in the mornings....

Also I think it is impossible to lie to yourself... You always know what you know.. No matter how hard you may try and fool yourself... I think the thing we need is to grow strong at facing such a situation... I guess for the christians/jews/muslims here that may come with faith, for some they maybe never able to handle death.... I dunno where I am going with this I'll just shut up..


Also... May sound off topic.. But, have you seen 'The last Samurai'? There is a quote there when the Empror ask's Tom Cruise to tell him how his most loyal and amazing Samurai died..... And Tom Cruise says; No, I'll tell you how he lived.... The thing here is, it's life that counts not death, that is the important part, what you did, who you loved, what you stood for.... How you lived is what should be remembered not death......... :) Also I think it was Amelia Burr who said; "Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die."
Thanks all for your well wishes. I still am not sure of the answers but you have helped me know that I probably won't for some time to come...

Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice ( (jesus) and come out, JOHN 5;28:)

the reason the verse says ....memorial ...... is because they are in the memory of God

When we die we have a life review, I believe, and see everything we ever did. And how we lived determines where we go right away.... and then we can progress after that, I believe. So even if you're in not such a good place, pray, love God, try to progress and see how you can grow spiritually.
When we die we have a life review,
those who are resurrected into the earth at a future time will have a second chance to prove that they are worthy to go on living in the paradise earth.

they will be judged not on their past deeds before they died, but they will be judged on how they live their lives from then on after their resurrection John 5;28-29
I believe the soul goes on forever, without ever dying. Only the body dies, I believe. The soul to the body is like the sun to the earth... the earth needs the sun, like the body needs the soul, but the sun doesn't need the earth.