intrepidlover
Melchizedek
I guess it will be starting to look like I attract women who are fanatical about their religion. This is quite a long story so please bear with me.
Five years ago in a local coffee shop, I met a Chinese Buddhist nun, named Xing, who was 35 years of age at the time. Despite her almost complete lack of English, we managed to communicate and struck up a nice friendship. There were a number of meetings in person, but for the most part we communicated by email. The emails were translated by a married Chinese Buddhist female with whom Xing was boarding.
However suddenly the emails stopped without giving any reason. I sent a number of emails which received no replies. As I knew the street but not the house number where Xing was staying, I had no way of contacting her, but I asked neighbours if they had seen the nun and they said yes they had. So why was Xing not replying to my emails?
After a very lengthy period of non-communication, Xing rang me speaking quite acceptable English, and wanted to visit me. She was returning to China in one week's time and wanted me to go with her. She was staying temporarily with some different Buddhists who she did not like much. She wanted to stay with me for the final week. She hopped up onto the bed in the spare room and said assertively: "I will sleep here." However I declined as I had been living alone for such a long time that I was not comfortable about sharing my space.
I asked why there had been no replies to my emails, and it turned out the girl she had been boarding with had simply not told her about them. This girl had quite deliberately blocked us from having a friendship for reasons unknown.
Because Xing's real father had been "nasty" after spending 10 years as a political prisoner, she chose to refer to me as her "good father." No problems there for me. So I had a "daughter." I was invited to stay in China with herself and her mother at any time. It was not feasible for me to do this because of commitments (like work) in Sydney.
So off she went to China and there was spasmodic exchange of emails between us. After a certain time she said things were not working out in China and that she would like to return to Sydney but could not afford to pay rent. So I invited my "daughter" to stay with me, sleeping in the second bedroom.
She was very agreeable to this arrangement and indicated quite clearly in a number of emails that it was her definite intention to stay with me on this father/daughter basis. I know this girl loves me and so I started to plan a life together -- how she would fit into my lifestyle; what activities we might share; how she could earn money teaching meditation. By this time I had outgrown my need for "space" and longed for the companionship of a quiet and gentle person like Xing. I built my whole future around this projected arrangement of having the girl who loved me share my life indefinitely.
Xing arrived in Sydney on November 15 as she had told me, and after staying for a week or so with the same family she had boarded with previously, she came to visit me. She embraced me, hugged me, pressed her small firm boobs against my chest, allowed me to place my hand on her bottom, snuggled up to me, cried on my shoulder, stroked my hands ..... in what was obviously not a daughterly or Platonic manner but in the way more of a lover. She even bit me on the shoulder -- surely that was not daughterly behaviour. [I need to be graphic to make my point]
And then she dropped the bombshell. Her Buddhist order said she was not permitted to live in the same house as a man.
So now we come to my question. Would the Buddha have forbidden a female nun to live under the same roof as a man whom she loved and regarded only as a father or Platonic friend, and not as a husband, boyfriend or lover?
I specifically ask for opinions based on the original teachings of Gautama Buddha and not rules for monastic life which may have developed after his passing.
Five years ago in a local coffee shop, I met a Chinese Buddhist nun, named Xing, who was 35 years of age at the time. Despite her almost complete lack of English, we managed to communicate and struck up a nice friendship. There were a number of meetings in person, but for the most part we communicated by email. The emails were translated by a married Chinese Buddhist female with whom Xing was boarding.
However suddenly the emails stopped without giving any reason. I sent a number of emails which received no replies. As I knew the street but not the house number where Xing was staying, I had no way of contacting her, but I asked neighbours if they had seen the nun and they said yes they had. So why was Xing not replying to my emails?
After a very lengthy period of non-communication, Xing rang me speaking quite acceptable English, and wanted to visit me. She was returning to China in one week's time and wanted me to go with her. She was staying temporarily with some different Buddhists who she did not like much. She wanted to stay with me for the final week. She hopped up onto the bed in the spare room and said assertively: "I will sleep here." However I declined as I had been living alone for such a long time that I was not comfortable about sharing my space.
I asked why there had been no replies to my emails, and it turned out the girl she had been boarding with had simply not told her about them. This girl had quite deliberately blocked us from having a friendship for reasons unknown.
Because Xing's real father had been "nasty" after spending 10 years as a political prisoner, she chose to refer to me as her "good father." No problems there for me. So I had a "daughter." I was invited to stay in China with herself and her mother at any time. It was not feasible for me to do this because of commitments (like work) in Sydney.
So off she went to China and there was spasmodic exchange of emails between us. After a certain time she said things were not working out in China and that she would like to return to Sydney but could not afford to pay rent. So I invited my "daughter" to stay with me, sleeping in the second bedroom.
She was very agreeable to this arrangement and indicated quite clearly in a number of emails that it was her definite intention to stay with me on this father/daughter basis. I know this girl loves me and so I started to plan a life together -- how she would fit into my lifestyle; what activities we might share; how she could earn money teaching meditation. By this time I had outgrown my need for "space" and longed for the companionship of a quiet and gentle person like Xing. I built my whole future around this projected arrangement of having the girl who loved me share my life indefinitely.
Xing arrived in Sydney on November 15 as she had told me, and after staying for a week or so with the same family she had boarded with previously, she came to visit me. She embraced me, hugged me, pressed her small firm boobs against my chest, allowed me to place my hand on her bottom, snuggled up to me, cried on my shoulder, stroked my hands ..... in what was obviously not a daughterly or Platonic manner but in the way more of a lover. She even bit me on the shoulder -- surely that was not daughterly behaviour. [I need to be graphic to make my point]
And then she dropped the bombshell. Her Buddhist order said she was not permitted to live in the same house as a man.
So now we come to my question. Would the Buddha have forbidden a female nun to live under the same roof as a man whom she loved and regarded only as a father or Platonic friend, and not as a husband, boyfriend or lover?
I specifically ask for opinions based on the original teachings of Gautama Buddha and not rules for monastic life which may have developed after his passing.
