Do you like to smell your own farts ?

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by NiceCupOfTea, May 6, 2010.

?

Do you like to smell your own farts ?

  1. Yes I love it

    3 vote(s)
    42.9%
  2. No its disgusting

    4 vote(s)
    57.1%
  1. NiceCupOfTea

    NiceCupOfTea Pathetic earthlings

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    Just wondering about this really.
     
  2. Dream

    Dream New Member

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    You don't have enough categories. There is such a thing as vintage, and farts are the purest expression of vintage.
     
  3. shawn

    shawn New Member

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    :eek:starting to wonder what you are putting in your nice cup of tea.
    Farts are endured, but if your own offend you then you need to change your diet.
     
  4. Saltmeister

    Saltmeister The Dangerous Dinner

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    Darn, I was just thinking of running one of these threads myself.:eek:
     
  5. Saltmeister

    Saltmeister The Dangerous Dinner

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    If someone farted in my cup of tea, I would not drink the rest of it. A cup of tea farted in wouldn't be very nice anymore.

    I would feel much like pouring the remains on the person who did it in my tea and soak them in their own fart.:D

    This could make a good sequel for the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, where Goldilocks comes back to cause more trouble for the three bears.

    Goldilocks takes a sip from the first cup of tea.

    "This tea is too strong."

    She takes a sip from the second cup of tea.

    "This tea is too weak."

    She takes a sip from the last cup of tea.

    "This tea is just right."

    Just when she is about to drink it all down, nature calls. She puts the cup of tea under her backside and lets out a long discharge of flatulence.

    The three bears come home.
    "Someone's been drinking my tea," says the father.
    "Someone's been drinking my tea," says the mother.
    "Someone's been drinking and farting in my tea!" says the child.:D

    How do you like this new addition to the story? Did you smell that one coming? How about an advertisement that warns against farting under the influence of alcohol?

    If you drink and fart, you're a bloody idiot.

    I don't think I need to warn people, but dangerous farting provokes a big smelly fine. That's bad enough to stink up at least a day in your life. Oh . . . and be careful not to make things worse by farting in front of the police officer. You don't want to be farting all the way to the police station.

    Smell ye all later.
     
  6. bhaktajan

    bhaktajan Active Member

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    Mega flatulence impedes Uncle Gupta's Public speeches!

    I have been farting for years. So i have some senority here.

    There must be a special function for farting but as the Lao tsu said, 'darkness within darkness . . . the fart that can be named is not the eternal fart'.

    What is the sound of a one buttuck farting? Shhhhhh!

    :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
    A personal story of redemption:

    As some may remember, my Uncle's problem was a quality of life dilemma:

    Mega flatulence impedes Uncle Gupta's Public speeches!

    I ask this on behalf of my uncle Gupta who is un-able to mitigate his wholesale evacuation of many cubic-liters of gas pressure:

    Since past 9 months Uncle Gupta has been promoted up the corporate ladder in his Law firm.
    With his new corner office he has felt the freedom to no longer hide his weakest link, but, this was short lived since the office water cooler is next to his office and
    during conference meetings across the hall
    he has been overheard relieving great quantities of
    intestinal air replete with
    massive fluttering slapping resonances.

    This was un-mistakeningly been recognized for
    what is was and thus alas,
    an inquisition slowly built up momentum against
    my poor Uncle Gupta's bane.

    If any one knows a cure for such accidental emissions during public address conferences.

    Uncle Gupta presently has had his office re-located to
    the roof penthouse.
    He loves the view and seclusion and
    the natural updraft from the exit stairs.

    Uncle Gupta must be able to restrain himself for
    only 25-30 minute speeches and
    also during visits to his mandir and
    also when his mother-in-law visits.

    Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

    Also, what is a natural air-freshener?
    Without chemical additives?

    Please pass this on to some one you think may be harboring the rosetta-stone-like solution to this greatest of family problems.

    In pursuit of world peace,
    uncle Gupta's bhaktajan

    "My dear Lord, one who earnestly waits for You to bestow Your causeless mercy upon him, all the while patiently suffering the reactions of his past misdeeds and offering You respectful obeisance’s with his heart, words and body, is surely eligible for devotion, for it has become his rightful claim". ---Bhagavata purana 10.14.8

    .............................................................
    Thanks to advise gotten from a contributor —"Uncle Gupta is taking lemon with his morning bhojan [breakfast] and so his life is now normal"

    Thank you for all your welwishes.
    Bhaktajan
    .............................................................
     
  7. bhaktajan

    bhaktajan Active Member

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    Too bad.
    "Fart" would have made a decent male name. Short for Fartholomew [as in Bartholomew].

    Fart Simpson would be Bart's cousin.
     
  8. NiceCupOfTea

    NiceCupOfTea Pathetic earthlings

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    pray tell me more about these vintage farts, I am not familiar with the term ?
     
  9. bhaktajan

    bhaktajan Active Member

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    The youth that walk around with their pant below their butts are spreading e-coli and the Government is to ashamed to admit it!

    Like a hot-potato, each passes to the other the resposibility ---yet no one will stand up and speak about this.

    We are covering all public seating with fecal-dust and we sit quietly ---like tram passengers continuing to read their morning papers as if this was the status quo of civilised people.

    Good God great balls of fire, what will become of us lowly sniffers all?
     
  10. xcvbxcvb

    xcvbxcvb New Member

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    Depends on what I ate. I do like my sweat, tho. I tend to use essential oil and very, very little commercial goop for scent. (NO, I don't like to smell my own farts but I'd rather smell mine than yours!)
     
  11. Dream

    Dream New Member

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    I think I can guess who voted yes or no. As for me, I must have confused vent-age (release of exhaust gases) for vintage (quality due to aging). Sometimes my mind works in mysterious ways.
     
  12. seattlegal

    seattlegal Why do cows say mu?

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    Would that qualify as a brain fart?
     
  13. Dream

    Dream New Member

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    I have no clever reply for that. Wait until I get my second wind.
     
  14. seattlegal

    seattlegal Why do cows say mu?

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    Oh, the vintage ventage?
     
  15. Saltmeister

    Saltmeister The Dangerous Dinner

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    There must be a way to mine all that methane gas. Maybe we should install special methane collection systems in all the seats and sitting-places in the world. Have special surgery done on your anus to have a pipe fixed to it. At the end of the pipe will be a tap that you turn on every time you sit down at a seat equipped with a fart collection system. A pump will suck the gas out of your anus and add it to a tank that holds the methane and fecal matter.

    Even better . . . wear the fart collection system on your back and deposit your farts at a local collection station at the end of the week or month. Earn some money from it.
     
  16. xcvbxcvb

    xcvbxcvb New Member

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  17. Dream

    Dream New Member

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    Saltmeister and Bhaktajan sound to me like a couple of yogurt-eaters who have no business posting in this thread. After thinking about it, I remember that I originally did not like the smell but I was forced to grow accustomed to it. That is my honesty for you, but these two goose-stepping strutters pretend like they are experts or something. I would also like to distance myself from Saltmeister's and Bhaktajan's opinions by saying that I am appalled by the unnatural uses that have been suggested as well as their grotesque statements. They strike me as posers. I'm not saying that they are somehow not as good as me, but only that I have more cultivated farts and tastes. What would yogurt eaters know about this subject?

    seattlegal and xvcb...(however its spelled) seem like they're just here to kiss up to everyone. I mean no offense, but please.
     
  18. seattlegal

    seattlegal Why do cows say mu?

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    Oh, but I miss everyone. :)
    {No offense taken}
     
  19. wil

    wil UNeyeR1

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    I've stayed away from even exploring this thread.

    to answer honestly no.

    Sometimes they aren't offensive....sometimes they don't even smell or I don't sense them....but sometimes they'll run me outta the room....but regardless even if they smell liked roses....I would not have an affinity for deeply inhaling gas that came from my digestive tract.

    I don't take antihistimines, what my body decides it wants to eliminate...I let it...and I don't encourage its return to the system for another go.
     
  20. xcvbxcvb

    xcvbxcvb New Member

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    No offense but we're here to kiss up to everyone...
    that's some kind of logic you're employing, there, isn't it?

    In fact, I've done nothing but share some movies and a few of my own opinions about things which either go completely contrary to the trend ...or, in fact, attempts to bridge some serious gaps in religious society.

    Perhaps you would care to further enlighten us with your blazing sense of verbal discretion and height of awareness?
     

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