Discussion in 'Lounge' started by NiceCupOfTea, May 6, 2010.
Actually, don't bother... this forum sucks.
dont you mean, this thread stinks!!!
Sorry but someone had to say it.
Thanks, I appreciate that. I am only teasing and am only talking about in the farts thread.
Stand Back Everyone! This is gonna be a big one . . .
So. We meet again. Not since before the war did you know where to find me.
So Sir Dreamer Here I am.
You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am. Let's face it, It was you, Dreamer.
Yes after all these years it was the casein.
Yes, it was the casein.
Now you know. Now what are you going to do?
You can't touch my flatulence and you know it.
Just try and see if you don't get your just desserts.
Don't play dumb, I know your footsteps, I'll know when you get near and then, just like last time, I'll prove that the secrets of the 36th Chamber has not been lost to me.
I have maintained to regimen and I still can call fought the forces from the deep that have kept you at bay till now.
May the force propel me,
I think I'll go back to the The Zen of Farting thread, now!
when i was a small boy, a friend of mine had the crazy idea of trying to jar his farts, from then on we went through a stage of farting into old jars and then putting the lid on, then opening them in a few weeks time, really bizzare
might try it again this weekend
i did try to sell a jar of farts on ebay... but no takers... bah...
It probably wasn't smelly enough. You need to try harder next time.
How dreadful is this thread?! Gosh that is like ugh! lol I don't get people who enjoy the smells of gasses from their backsides which have been marinating in fecal matter.... lol it's insanity to me to do so... I know that it is a sign of being healthy if you fart like what 16/17 times a day lol but to asorb oneself in a vintage evaluating experience. Seems messed up :/ I think someone said they like their own body scent? That on the other hand I don't think is too bad, more of an instinct from within.
The young lads with their sagging pants/underpants bearing "fashion de jour" (or has evolved since Marky-Mark Walberg's 'Kevin Kline' ad-campaign of the 80's) ---are spreading e-coli every where yet all upper crust folks remain in silence ---albeit "aghast" reticence.
E-coli & mad-cow both emerge from microform/yeast/mold growths that are borne of the most famous pH unbalancing acidosis producing state of our 'internal enviroment' aka, stool contamination.
Let us pray for the future generations to escape the unslought of our constitution's waste products' bane.
God Save the Crown!!
om tat sat
You folk don't know the meaning of smelling your own farts. You are just rank amateurs.
I would like to know where to go to get formal training so we can fart properly.
Sept 10 thru Sept 16 2010 Toronto, Canada Expo Center will be host the tri-annual IFFGE (International Federation of Flatulence & Gas Exporters) Trade Show.
I will be displaying my latest & Newly Patented Invention.
The Trademark name is still in the process of being Trade marked.
It is a Flatulence attentuation devise capable of delimiting the audable frequencies of Flatulence by a coefiecient of 75% ---and this is just the version meant for the pedestrian market.
I know you're thinking this sound pretty good, well it's true!
So get onboard while the IPO is still in the agar.
This is also been developed for industrial & military applications.
Indeed, James Bond used one in the movie "Gold-Finger" and you can hear it being used (if you put your ear to the TV Tube) wherever Patrick McGoohan asked, "Who is number 2"?
More interestingly, There has been an adaptation of my Flatulence attentuation for military use in a way never excepted, and it may well pave the road for success in my own design here:
Flatulence Amplification, especially 'High-frequency' & 'Sonic-Boom' and of course the classical Roman slant, the "Ceaser's Silent" aka, "The Wars-off Salad with walnuts & Raisins" (WOSWR).
The "Flatulence Amplification System™" is designed for difficult terrains and severe weather conditions.
A Typical paper sack-sized "Flatulence Amplification System™" can create enough decibles to drown out a Harrier Jet landing in your car-park.
During the battles in Afganastan it achieve additional unexpected effects ---it caused the enemy to laugh themselves to death, and, the echo caused by the sonic blast issued by my newly patented devise, the "Flatulence Amplification System™" was shown to travel along the deep crevasses of the Himalanian Ranges and was heard by geological field stations from the Hindu Kush to the Gobi Dessert to the out-houses of the Iranian Army Officer's mess-hall.
So maybe I have hit the big time!
Booths will be available for expo members ---reservations must be booked inadvance ---so please register soon:
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
This is the latest update to the international survey of modern society's down fall due to fecal injestion ---by the Univesity of Bentover on Kissarse:
Outbreak in Europe blamed on 'super-toxic' strain - Yahoo! News
"Let us keep track of the newest vogue in World fecal ingestion" --Prof. Forest Gump II
"A World Pandemic has broken out, caused by wide-spread E-coli infestation originating from public transportation & other public meeting spaces, where countless male youths' buttucks have directly come in contact with seating surfaces and thus caused unexpected outbreaks of E-coli".
Major western Cities have expressed their grave embarrasment and Most media outlets are too ashamed to report this story. Indeed, heavy contaminated Cities refuse to point any one out because it is, as one local police Department Captain commented to the Press, "This is the most stupifyingly stupid illness. I don't even want to talk about it to my own kids". Firehouses everywhere are hosing down streets homeless and Provincial Politians alike and no one is speaking out about the outragious stupid circumstances they are all mutually embroiled in.
A Russian diplomat is quoting as saying, "This may explain what the old USSR was always experiencing, and yet it too was covered up in the media." One source has attested to several Chinese diplomats saying the same thing.
Disease Control Centers world wide are conferring Today in the Haugue and reports have surfaced that past pandemics may have been linked to the use of Mini-skirts while sitting in Resturants the world over. School children from Kalamazoo to Timbuktu are now being taught a nursery rhyme that warns "Not to put stray bits of Corn Kernels in their mouths".
Authorities in Rio DeGenero Brasil, have said, in anticipation of the next Olympic games, that they will ban the use of Thongs in all public spaces, or at the least, they plan to ban Thongs in Cinema Theatres and Trains and Hospital waiting rooms.
GET IT WHILE ITS HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Study on NY's Hudson finds unsafe sewage pollution
Study on NY's Hudson finds unsafe sewage pollution - WSJ.com
CROTON-ON-HUDSON, N.Y. — A new report on Hudson River water quality finds that sewage pollution makes the river unsafe for swimming 21 percent of the time at sites from New York City to Troy.
The study says that's three times as often as at beaches nationwide.
The report is by the environmental group Riverkeeper. It's based on monthly samples taken between 2006 and 2010 that were tested for bacteria linked to sewage. The samples came from 75 sites along the length of the 155-mile river.
There are only four designated swimming beaches on the Hudson. However, the report says there are more than 100 places where people go into the water.
The report says government testing must be improved and the Clean Water Act must be enforced to prevent sewage pollution.
US Rep. Barney Frank farts on Live Television!
Get it while it's hot!
United States Democrat Representative of the House of Representatives Barney Frank farts on the Rachelle Maddow show on Live Television August 10th 2011.
Did Barney Frank fart on Maddow show? - YouTube
These are the signs ... "Times are a changin"
Ahh the old days!
Ah, stroke bennies... I have zero memory of this thread...
Pull my finger.
I did enjoy seeing Seattle, dream and gray mare...
Separate names with a comma.