Self-Forgiveness

Aayankhan

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Forgiveness is one of act in which you feel good, when you forgive others. As we expect to others that they forgive us for our bad acts, so we have to forgive others first.
 

wil

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If refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and hoping the other would die...

And it is...

Then not forgiving oneself is like wearing a ball and chain...holding you back...wherever you go...

Forgiving is a highly selfish act. It allows you to move beyond the issue.... And has very little to do with the other person...(even if that other person is you in the past...) Its affect is on you in the present.
 

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Then not forgiving oneself is like wearing a ball and chain...holding you back...wherever you go...
Indeed!
Forgiving is a highly selfish act. It allows you to move beyond the issue....
I think this can be true if the forgiveness you seek, be it self or for others, is not genuine. In other words if you are offering forgiveness only for the purpose of being forgiven, it is then a selfish act. Likewise if you deliberately commit evil acts with the intention of asking for forgiveness later. This too would be selfish and not warrant divine forgiveness.

By contrast, if you are offering yourself and others genuine forgiveness. In the case of others, that which is offered, not for the benefit of self, but rather for the benefit of those you seek forgiveness or in the case of self, that which you have repented and made amends for, then forgiveness is selfless and would warrant forgiveness from the divine.

Simply put. Forgiveness must be given not for benefit of self, but because it is the right thing to do and the divine way.
 

wil

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It is always for the benefit and betterment of self (physically, spiritually, emotionally)..

I am not speaking of seeking forgiveness... But of forgiving others...

If someone comes up in thought or you see them and you begin to seethe about some past real or perceived indiscretions... The damage is being done to you, by you, by your choice...
 

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It is always for the benefit and betterment of self (physically, spiritually, emotionally)..
It's true that forgiveness always benefits self, but that doesn't necessarily mean self benefit is the primary motivation behind forgiving others.
 
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BigJoeNobody

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wow I missed this one altogether... I'll just respond with the first page... I am much to lazy atm to read through all 4...

IMO self forgiveness is entirely necessary... However, one must first clear his guilt externally and spiritually first. If you have slighted someone, you should do your best to make it as right as possible. IMO, Seek forgiveness for your slight from the slighted. Do your best, and be sincere. Then seek forgiveness from the Creator (or whatever deity you believe in). In Islam this path is clear. For the worst of accidents it is directly stated in Quran. Other than that, Hadiths show us what to do for the non-accidents. and punishment is usually done ie. jail, fasting, etc. After all this is accomplished one must forgive themselves, If it is possible. Some things (such as killing someone) never can be forgiven by a true believer, but they will seek forgiveness through the Creator and beg.
 

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How is it the glorification of man to forgive?
It's not. In fact, forgiveness is one of the most divine acts mortal man can perform, but without divine province, forgiveness becomes a shallow act merely done for man's own benefit. In other words, the glorification of man.
 

wil

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We think differently. If someone steps on my toe, picks a fight with me, steals my belongings... Whatever...and I choose to forgive him... Unless I believe in your god...that is a shallow act? For Buddhists and Taoists, and Pagans? For atheists, forgiveness is a shallow act?
 

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If someone steps on my toe, picks a fight with me, steals my belongings... Whatever...and I choose to forgive him... Unless I believe in your god...that is a shallow act? For Buddhists and Taoists, and Pagans? For atheists, forgiveness is a shallow act?
Twisting mine or anyone else's words won't help you understand. Are you forgiving your trespasser because it makes you feel better or so that they themselves may be forgiven or achieve inner peace or spiritual enlightenment? That's the difference.
 
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wil

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Twisting mine or anyone else's words won't help you understand. Are you forgiving your trespasser because it makes you feel better or so that they themselves may be forgiven or achieve inner peace or spiritual enlightenment? That's the difference.
If I were to think that my forgiving them would facilitate others in inner peace and enlightenment THAT ...that WOULD be self glorification...

I am not/have not intentionally twisted any words... I just don't see a need for God or religioun for one to forgive their fellowman...nor do I see it as negative if they did...
 
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