Faithfulservant
Well-Known Member
My son is like that too. He graciously will hug me but I can tell it's not something he is comfortably casual about.. he probably gets that from me
The value of hugs.
- Thread starter wil
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The only issue I have with hugs is perfume...oh my and be a greeter at chuqrch and I look forward to the folks with normal body odor to counter all the chemicals wafting up my nose!
Faithfulservant
Well-Known Member
The more I learn about the neuro divergent brain the more I think we are all on the spectrum. (I can't walk down the soap aisle!)
Faithfulservant
Well-Known Member
I get unscented/"pure" bars of soap. Ditto sensitive skin laundry detergent "pods".
I detest doing laundry after several of my neighbours who use too much liquid laundry detergent, then spill said detergent all over the inside of the washer! I feel that if you have difficulties measuring said soap, individual pods take away all of the guesswork! Added plus is that the pods disintegrate in the wash, leaving nothing behind!
I adore going through produce/bakery"coffee" aisles, too, getting whiffs of fresh fruit/vegetables/breads/pastries/roasted coffee beans/etc. I miss the old chocolate plant that used to be in downtown Milwaukee (they would roast beans at certain times; when the wind came from the "right" direction, you'd get an attack of "the munchies", guaranteed!
Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
moralorel
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I'm convinced that I don't belong in the United States. I am a hugger. Always have been. It has rubbed off on my family as well. Most of my family has been accustomed to a handshake at most.
When I was a teenager we moved to a city outside of Chicago. The city had a large latino population. I fit right in because they all loved to hug... and because I speak Spanish, love much of the food of Latin America, etc. My family is still pondering moving to Latin America. We just haven't decided where. I have brought my family to Latin America and the number one thing they miss is the hugs!
When I was a teenager we moved to a city outside of Chicago. The city had a large latino population. I fit right in because they all loved to hug... and because I speak Spanish, love much of the food of Latin America, etc. My family is still pondering moving to Latin America. We just haven't decided where. I have brought my family to Latin America and the number one thing they miss is the hugs!
TheLightWithin
...through a glass, darkly
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I have noting against hugs ... it's a delight when my grandkids ask for one.
I have had some notable handshakes in my time.
I just don't dictate how others should behave, or what's 'normal'.
Hugs has changed its social situation, from one cultural thing – men don't do it – to another – real men do – but really, both are equally 'fabricated' in that they come from a perceived 'norm'.
With our grandchildren, we ask for a kiss bye-bye, a hug, a cuddle ... and if we're refused, then that's OK. Currently one of our four is developing his territorial thing, he's a bit like Joey from Friends, he don't share food! Or toys. It will pass, we just reason our way through it, whereas in my childhood it was very much the 'I'm the adult your the child' kinda thing.
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General note ... while I think we are all on the spectrum, as we say, and nothing against @Faithfulservant for saying it ... I have heard professionals caution against saying it, because it runs the risk of becoming fashionable and, in that sense, counter-productive.
I have had some notable handshakes in my time.
I just don't dictate how others should behave, or what's 'normal'.
Hugs has changed its social situation, from one cultural thing – men don't do it – to another – real men do – but really, both are equally 'fabricated' in that they come from a perceived 'norm'.
With our grandchildren, we ask for a kiss bye-bye, a hug, a cuddle ... and if we're refused, then that's OK. Currently one of our four is developing his territorial thing, he's a bit like Joey from Friends, he don't share food! Or toys. It will pass, we just reason our way through it, whereas in my childhood it was very much the 'I'm the adult your the child' kinda thing.
+++
General note ... while I think we are all on the spectrum, as we say, and nothing against @Faithfulservant for saying it ... I have heard professionals caution against saying it, because it runs the risk of becoming fashionable and, in that sense, counter-productive.
Teaching kids consent and boundaries early is a valuable thing!
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Aye, the spectrum! I'm a teaching assistant for children diagnosed as such (and other learning needs). There's a much greater recognition of neuro-diversity than in the past, thank goodness. I do suspect we are all on this "spectrum," My previous boss had a son with autism and he certainly thought this. We can all tick some of those boxes I think. Like many human charactersitics, it's not a simple binary thing.
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Faithfulservant
Well-Known Member
No offense taken and I agree about assigning labels without professional diagnosis but I have spent 21 years with this child and reading enough about it I recognize many characteristics in him that give me cause to believe. It actually comforts him that there is a reason why he is the way he is.
It is my belief we are seeing variations which are part of our evolution. The govt and big tech businesses have already seen the value of what my generation called idiot savants...we typically saw amazing piano or violin players....folks lacking social skills yet champions of some niche....there are non verbal folks in cubicles making six figures discovering errors in programing or in the IRS finding patterns that identify tax evasion.
It is a matter.of finding the correct communication methods. We live in interesting times.
What was in my day retarded and relegated to special Ed classes or psych wards because we were too intolerant as lay people to deal...will soon be in Special Education classes known as advanced placement and exceed us.
My nephew's on the spectrum ... bullied at school, brilliant with computers, sh*t with people ...
So he goes off from school on a 10-day project, living in a wooden hut on Dartmoor or some other equally-uninhabited space. The hut is the centre of environmental studies, they have cameras, monitors, recorders, instruments, all over the moor, feeding data back to a bank of computers. His mum really didn't want him to go. School said it would do him good.
Because he is who he is, school gave mum the phone number of the project. after two sleepless nights of worry, she telephoned.
He's ten days in a room full of computers streaming live feeds from various devices. He's in heaven. "Can we keep him?" they asked.
Of course, he went to uni, got a 1st in Game Design. He's doing very well.
So he goes off from school on a 10-day project, living in a wooden hut on Dartmoor or some other equally-uninhabited space. The hut is the centre of environmental studies, they have cameras, monitors, recorders, instruments, all over the moor, feeding data back to a bank of computers. His mum really didn't want him to go. School said it would do him good.
Because he is who he is, school gave mum the phone number of the project. after two sleepless nights of worry, she telephoned.
He's ten days in a room full of computers streaming live feeds from various devices. He's in heaven. "Can we keep him?" they asked.
Of course, he went to uni, got a 1st in Game Design. He's doing very well.
Faithfulservant
Well-Known Member
@Thomas that's exactly how my son is . He's very gifted with animals and computers.. very smart.. not very good socially but hides it extremely well. He has one good friend and that's it. We put him in Scouts to help him socially as he wasnt at all good in sports.. he thrived in scouts as a lot of kids on the spectrum do . I think it's because of all the goals they have to meet. His brain is wired differently. He was a late talker but he could mimic anything.
He really is a very special young man
He really is a very special young man
I got connections... board and card game designer friends...two are former NASA rocket scientists...oops no three. Last night we played the remake of Thunder Road, walked thru it with one of the designers (creator of Get Bit)
The others are creators of the FLUXX collection of card games as well as Homeworlds (basically Chess in space, but better (chess was my favorite game from elementary school till about a decade ago when I learned HW)
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