First of all, thanks for having me.
I'm perhaps a strange kind of atheist, one who found out he has no God through dedicated spiritual exercises and ritual.
Beautifully expressed, Cino.
I think your expression just about sums up my experience.
I felt I knew God via the experiences I had when I sincerely began my conscious search for 'the absolute truth'.
Without going into details here, my belief collapsed when I realized that, that which I was experiencing was not God or some supreme ideal.
I remain in awe of existence with the same intensity as I believed in God.
Most of the people I know are God believers and most of our conversations are just as deep as when I was a believer.
My closest friend is a non-denomination fundamentalist Christian who absolutely believes that Jesus is the only way. This does not stop us having hours long discussions of what scriptures mean.
Happy Jewish new year.