Self analyzing.


A spirit fox
Reaction score
Sometimes in Maine, sometimes in Pennsulvania
Well like I said on my reintroduction, I don't trust my words much which is why I don't post much. Noticed that the time I don't trust myself is because I recorgnize I'm in a pessimistic mindset. This mostly happens in the morning hours, and later like when it's sunset and night, my mood seems to pick up. The amount of energy I have also affects how I behave. If I'm in a sugar rush, I'm far more pleasant than I would be almost any other time. In a sense I'm learning about my own behavior and ways I can change it when it's not appropriate.

I wonder if anyone else notices suttle things that end up changing how they act.
Hi Leafblade:)

I can relate. Even though I am (I've been told) a very optimistic person, I don't always feel great. I haven't always been able to balance my worries about the future. I got that way by looking too much into the past. I am finally realizing that I can learn from my history, and I don't have to repeat it.

That may seem a little off-topic, so I'll try and explain.

In the past, I would sometimes become rather depressed in the autumn when the flowers were spent, the green left, and the days got shorter. And I have always loved to watch the sunsets where I live, but I used to feel a profound sense of sadness when the beautiful blaze faded into darkness (I live in the city and cannot easily see lots of stars). And anytime there were days on end of nothing but cloud cover without rain, I found I could barely function. And I hated winter (rarely does it snow here, but the winds can be bone-chilling).

I had to do something about this. I finally just decided to tune in with these events. I guess I decided that if the spring rains and the new sprouts and the warm winds had a purpose, so did the other things. I still struggle with my ups and downs, but I am working on it.

I almost seem like the opposite, I tend to be in better moods or calmer when the days grow shorter. In autumn I would always marvel at the colors and it even smells different than other times of the year. In winter the cold can be bothersome, but when it snows (and you're done with annoyances like shoveling out) I basiclly plow through it. I live in the city as well and go to the country for college and I love seeing the stars a treasure lost to many people because of the lights. I do like everything in bloom and how all the plants become active in spring and summer, but there's something about the growing days where I don't have as much energy as I did when the sun was out less.
I need to consider more self analyzing....often times I shouldn't post...but fingers hit the keyboard and who knows what they come up with...I surely don't until I read it later.

On the flip side a lot of interesting stuff has fell out of the same fingers, taking me to places I wouldn't have considered going should I have second guessed and edited.

And then other times my thoughts were not put clear enough down and were misconstrued, much to my dismay I stepped unintentionally on toes... But then it allowed me to explain the thought in more detail...that is if it was still around.

I look at it like a baseball batter...

A. You don't have to hit a homerun everytime.
B. You really only need to get to first base and then wait for the next few posters to take you around the bases....
C. If you can bat .300 that is 3 out of 10 valuable posts...that'll earn you a million dollars in the big leagues, and here provide for tons of discussion, growth and spinoffs...
D. Even when you strike out, you are not alone, there are others that will benefit from your mistakes.
E. Occassionally you'll get hit by a pitch...there is growth in that too. How will you react, will you just whince and take your base, or start throwing epithats, or mouth off at the umpire and get kicked out of the game?

The above is a perfect example...I had no intention of going there..but it happened, do I delete it, will others enjoy the trip down one of my wierd neuronets, or will it assist some lurker in some way to step into the batter's box?
Hey wil--

Ha-ha! I can relate to this one, too! (I know, I know--it's not funny, right?) How many times have I just been so careful, thinking I said things in just the perfect way, only to realize an hour or a day or a week later--"Oh you know, that just didn't sound right!". Thankfully, I've been here long enough that most people know my heart, and overlook (or at least forgive) these bumbles of mine! As a result, I have become pretty comfortable--sometimes too comfortable--with the phrase, "Oops, I was w-w-w-r-rong" (Guess it still doesn't r-r-r-o-l off the tongue like it should.):)

HI ya'll

nice topic!

I'VE been learning how to be "people-friendly" ..... not that i was dysfunctional before!!! ...... but i've been developing my interpersonal skills sothat i can contribute to a more harmonious conversation! And i do love conversation!
I read the other day, it's called "developing your emotional intelligence". :confused: MMMM, the writer could have gotten the jargon wrong .... does'nt sound right to me. But that's just me...

AND i can SOOOOOOOOOOOO relate to feeling gloomy in winter! i don't favour grey days .... And i've never really thought of integrating those grey days into my happy moments .... Perhaps i'll be less MANIC all the time during winter!! :D

BUT the biggest adjustment i've made to improve overall harmony, is REMAINING OPEN. And there's nothing more joyous than learning something new! Or experiencing an unfamiliar emotion! Or Making a mistake .... killing yourself over it .... then realise that you're being a dumbass worrying about What Was ..... then LAUGHing ..... and moving the hell on with a skip in your step!! Halleluja! Alhamdu lillah!


:D much love
I can relate to the gloom and doom that dark and cold weather can bring on. When I lived in the midwest and the 1st of November hit it was like someone had flipped a switch inside of me.

My asthma got worse, I sank into blue funks for no reason, and if there were a reason it was spiral time. I set up a fairly extensive regimen of herbal and vitamin therapy for me which I followed rigorously, especially between October and April, and did a lot of listening to music that I liked. This was in the mid 80"s and I'm convinced that this saved my life several times. At times my asthmatic coughing fits were so severe that I would wake up on the floor after passing out during a spasm with not a clue as to how long I was out...and I didn't even contract asthmatic conditions until I was in my mid-40's.

Enough of my case history. A few years ago I came out to the high desert regions of the southwest where it is sunny over 300 days a year and all of that has pretty much disappeared. But i still swallow my supplements each day like clockwork, and life...most good. can become automatic at many things as one ages. As I like to say the daily rituals that we develop help in no small way to keep us going as we age gracefully. But I still enjoy taking time out of each day to try and do some original thinking of some sort. Kind of like refreshing one's brain on a regular basis...but I think the ginko and fish oil help that out alot too.


I'm fairly well civilized these days. I use fish oil caps, 1000mg each day. And I usually use toilets and urinals for eliminatory bodily functions. I do occasionally spit on the ground though.

Where do you do your 1's and 2's when on the job, carpenter-man ? Although living in a shack might be fun to try for a while, I'd do it only if there was a little hut near it with a half-moon on the door.

I wonder if Ted Kaczynski used a john when he lived in his shack in Lincoln County, Montana. Of course these days in his digs in Florence, Colorado he has a john right next to his bunk probably.

Thinking fondly of you...flow....:rolleyes:
That was a reference to The Old Man and the Sea, in case anyone wonders.

Well, on the number one front, all I can say is it's good to be a man! I don't know if I want to get into the number two's. Suffice it to say that you just haven't lived until you've sh** your pants on a remote job, had to cut off your chuds with your keys ('cause there ain't no way your gonna get 'em down over your ankles without it getting all over your legs), and wipe with your socks!


All I can say is that remote jobs can cause all sorts of problems, as you well know, and so graphically pointed out.:eek:

Old Man and the Sea eh ? Was this before or after the shark ate the codger's fish.