Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

China Cat Sunflower

China Cat Sunflower

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KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

..."Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.
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Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
 
Hi,

This reminds me of the idea that we can see because our eyes emit some sort of rays onto the world. (I don't know why; possibly because that too is just a lot of tosh!)

s.
 
No offense but...

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down,"

Where ever this guy gets his stuff... I want in... Anyone know the dealers number?
 
Lol! Funny one Chris.

However, I've actually heard of YEC Christians who go into physics to study the hypothesis that the speed of light is not constant. If the speed of light is changeable, then so is time, which means things could appear to be much older than they really are...
 
Of course it's satire! But it raises an interesting point about us not really knowing what the real nature of gravity is. For one thing, is there really such a thing as a pulling force? Even when "pulling" a trailer, what's actually happening is that the front of the ball is pushing the front of the tongue.

Chris
 
China Cat Sunflower said:
Of course it's satire! But it raises an interesting point about us not really knowing what the real nature of gravity is. For one thing, is there really such a thing as a pulling force? Even when "pulling" a trailer, what's actually happening is that the front of the ball is pushing the front of the tongue.

Chris
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What's the speed of gravity? :p
 
Hang on! All Post-Einsteinians know that things fall because of distortions in the space-time continuum caused by objects of mass. I hope that's cleared that up :D

There is no experimental data that I'm aware of that shows the speed of light is constant. This is an assumption. In fact, nearly all speed-of-light-related theories are circular in logic. Actual experiments are few and half-hearted. Testing the speed of light is stirring up a dark pool which scientists would prefer to leave undisturbed.
 
Correctimundo Cliff...in the quantum-digital realities that we are all being pushed into there are no constants, linearities, or certainties. Sounds kind of like...CHAOS ?

flow....:cool:
 
Virtual_Cliff said:
Hang on! All Post-Einsteinians know that things fall because of distortions in the space-time continuum caused by objects of mass. I hope that's cleared that up :D

There is no experimental data that I'm aware of that shows the speed of light is constant. This is an assumption. In fact, nearly all speed-of-light-related theories are circular in logic. Actual experiments are few and half-hearted. Testing the speed of light is stirring up a dark pool which scientists would prefer to leave undisturbed.
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I remember seeing something on one of those documentry chanels (or was it Star Trek?) were it showed that the speed of light could be affected by 'external' influences like gravity lenses. wouldn't that tend to suggest it's not constant? (or am I being thick?)
'stirring up a dark pool' So much for scientists claim that they 'seek the truth'...
 
pfw said:
I remember seeing something on one of those documentry chanels (or was it Star Trek?) were it showed that the speed of light could be affected by 'external' influences like gravity lenses. wouldn't that tend to suggest it's not constant? (or am I being thick?)
'stirring up a dark pool' So much for scientists claim that they 'seek the truth'...
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You mean Star Trek isn't a documentary??? :D
 
Prober said:
The intelligent falling of this conversation escapes me!:D
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You can't grasp the gravity of the conversation? If it escapes then it isn't falling, it is then under the intelligent tangential theory.
seattlegal said:
What's the speed of gravity? :p
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Terminal velocity is determined by the time of mass and approaches transfiguration.

And if the church weighs the same as a small pebble...
 
wil said:
Terminal velocity is determined by the time of mass and approaches transfiguration.

And if the church weighs the same as a small pebble...
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And the faster the church goes, the smaller it gets (but the more it weighs...go transfigure? :D )
 
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