Undetermined health problems

[dmsingh]

I was diagnosed with Guillan Barre or a similar disorder 10 years ago. I still suffer the symptoms and effects, but there is no known cause for my condition. There are many diseases or disorders with no known cause- some are life threatening, some are life ending. My first diagnosis was that I had a terminal disease. I lived with that despair for 9 months before being diagnosed with Guillan Barre or Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy.
Having a life threatening illness called into question the role or influence of God in my life. When the diagnosis went from terminal to life threatening, I was ecstatic. I'd gone from spending the last Thanksgiving, Christmas and birthdays with my wife and children, to living to see more times of celebration.
I've prayed to and praised God for my chance to live longer, even though I am disabled in several ways. I don't feel anger or bitterness even though I've lost the ability to walk, play my guitar, play golf and do other things I took for granted. When the total despair I felt with my terminal diagnosis was lifted, I felt and feel much gratitude for the life I have.
I've since had two more episodes of nearly dying. I have become accepting of the fact that I may die soon and without warning. I don't understand why this has happened to me- a disorder with no cause and no cure, living with chronic pain- but alive.
I am grateful for having 10 more years of life. I am now retired after a long career as a teacher. Retirement means more rest and little stress. It also gives me more time to contemplate life's and God's mysteries.

That's why I started this thread. If you have observations or experiences to share, I'd be very interested in what you have to say. David

 

[Dream]

David,

As you experience doubt, anger, and questioning your family and close friends are also undergoing the same thing -- at least a miniature version of it. As you lose the ability to do the things you like and become more aware of death, you say you enter a process of introspection from which you learn to say "I don't feel anger or bitterness even though..." Those around you are going through that same process and are hopefully reaching the same conclusions.

In order to be able to serve, there must be someone to serve. It is necessary for the good of the whole body that every part honors every other part. Your part right now is to allow others to comfort you and to be thankful, and that is a righteous work prepared for you to do for the benefit of all. It is spiritual work, so it has no appeal except for a spiritual one. I've attached some scriptures about this - how we all are parts of the whole and how our sacrifice is a sacrifice of thanksgiving.

Psalm 116:12-14,17
What shall I render to the LORD for all his bounty to me?
I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD,
I will pay my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people....I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the LORD.

Psalm 133:1 <A Song of Ascents.> Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! It is like the precious oil upon the head, running down upon the beard, upon the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes! It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion! For there the LORD has commanded the blessing, life for evermore.

I Corinthians 12:26 And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it. Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

 

[Snoopy]

Hi David.

We are all going to die one day. There, that's a conversation starter.
If I am apparently 100% fit and healthy today (I’m not) that doesn’t change that fact does it? The shock of the diagnosis that you received has helped you in so far as you have great gratitude for being alive (if indeed you didn’t already have it). There are plenty of people in the world who have not had such a shocking diagnosis and are blithely living their “unexamined lives” as though they are immortal. The biggest shock of all awaits them.

We should all live our lives as if we are going to die one day, maybe today (because we are). We should all live our lives as if we have been given a shocking diagnosis (because in effect we have, but many choose to ignore it and live in denial). Some know our “end date” in advance, some don’t. But the destination is the same; it’s whether we’re paying attention on the journey that matters.

Snoopy.

 

[Tao_Equus]

I remember back when I left school in the early 80's I was wholly convinced I would never see the year 2000. The Cold War seemed to be approaching a showdown and an escalation into space, Reagans SDI (star wars), that would inevitably result in nuclear war. And indeed in some sense, when the fireworks brought in the new millennium I was quietly surprised to still be alive. But I remember being very aware back in the 80's that it was the man with God on his lips that seemed intent on the brinkmanship that would destroy everything. And to this day I think if it had been any other man than Gorbachev in power in the USSR that may well have been our fate.

David, I do not mean to be cold or callous nor to undervalue the difficulty and suffering both you and your family have endured during your illness. But as Snoopy says we do all die. I think it is not the death itself that is the difficulty in your case. rather it is the nature of the illness and the cyclical seriousness with which it affects you. Few of us are willing to die, we all want every breath we can draw, even if the offer is of paradise to let go. I think despite all of our concious games to philosophise a pain free eternity we all know, deep down, that our last breath is very much our last breath. That nothingness that awaits us is more frightening than heaven or hell. It is no surprise that we go to such exhaustive effort to deny it. Thinking about nothingness is just too difficult for most of us.

I have sadly even at the relative youth of a 40+ seen many, many of the people I grew up with die. Almost equally through drugs/HIV or by suicide. And I have watched relatives die slowly and painfully after a terminal diagnoses. The causes, and the emotions they evoke, are different in every case. But it is the finality of death that is the big thing. It is beyond our power to effect any change. It leaves us impotent, useless. Something else we are uncomfortable with. This makes some angry, forces others to a supernatural denial of the facts, makes others despondent and depressed so they withdraw, give up and hasten the end. But which ever way we deal with it the result is always the same. And life marches on without us. We are soon forgotten, because we matter little in the great scheme of things. We are only important to ourselves, and if we are lucky, a very few individuals. It is humanity that lives on, not individuals, and so it is what we do for humanity that really counts.


tao

 

[dmsingh]

David,

As you experience doubt, anger, and questioning your family and close friends are also undergoing the same thing -- at least a miniature version of it. As you lose the ability to do the things you like and become more aware of death, you say you enter a process of introspection from which you learn to say "I don't feel anger or bitterness even though..." Those around you are going through that same process and are hopefully reaching the same conclusions.

In order to be able to serve, there must be someone to serve. It is necessary for the good of the whole body that every part honors every other part. Your part right now is to allow others to comfort you and to be thankful, and that is a righteous work prepared for you to do for the benefit of all. It is spiritual work, so it has no appeal except for a spiritual one. I've attached some scriptures about this - how we all are parts of the whole and how our sacrifice is a sacrifice of thanksgiving.

I have been blessed in sickness and in health. I've come to not fear death. I almost died 4 years ago in the ER.
My blood pressure was down to 71/40 and I was almost
gone. My family was there and I felt peaceful and ready.
Thanks for the scriptures and you are correct- I am on a spiritual journey. That is why I joined this community.

 

[dmsingh]

Hi David.

We are all going to die one day. There, that's a conversation starter.
If I am apparently 100% fit and healthy today (I’m not) that doesn’t change that fact does it? The shock of the diagnosis that you received has helped you in so far as you have great gratitude for being alive (if indeed you didn’t already have it). There are plenty of people in the world who have not had such a shocking diagnosis and are blithely living their “unexamined lives” as though they are immortal. The biggest shock of all awaits them.

We should all live our lives as if we are going to die one day, maybe today (because we are). We should all live our lives as if we have been given a shocking diagnosis (because in effect we have, but many choose to ignore it and live in denial). Some know our “end date” in advance, some don’t. But the destination is the same; it’s whether we’re paying attention on the journey that matters.

Snoopy.

I have had a happy and blessed life. I have few regrets.
10 years ago I was terrified of death and dying. Today I
accept my death, not knowing if I will live until tomorrow, or for another 30 years. My Grandmother was Hindu and
I have a foundation in transmigration of souls. I also accept beliefs of other religions. I would like to have a clearer understanding of what I do believe about life after death. That is why I am interested in your ideas. David

 

[dmsingh]

I remember back when I left school in the early 80's I was wholly convinced I would never see the year 2000. The Cold War seemed to be approaching a showdown and an escalation into space, Reagans SDI (star wars), that would inevitably result in nuclear war. And indeed in some sense, when the fireworks brought in the new millennium I was quietly surprised to still be alive. But I remember being very aware back in the 80's that it was the man with God on his lips that seemed intent on the brinkmanship that would destroy everything. And to this day I think if it had been any other man than Gorbachev in power in the USSR that may well have been our fate.

David, I do not mean to be cold or callous nor to undervalue the difficulty and suffering both you and your family have endured during your illness. But as Snoopy says we do all die. I think it is not the death itself that is the difficulty in your case. rather it is the nature of the illness and the cyclical seriousness with which it affects you. Few of us are willing to die, we all want every breath we can draw, even if the offer is of paradise to let go. I think despite all of our concious games to philosophise a pain free eternity we all know, deep down, that our last breath is very much our last breath. That nothingness that awaits us is more frightening than heaven or hell. It is no surprise that we go to such exhaustive effort to deny it. Thinking about nothingness is just too difficult for most of us.

I have sadly even at the relative youth of a 40+ seen many, many of the people I grew up with die. Almost equally through drugs/HIV or by suicide. And I have watched relatives die slowly and painfully after a terminal diagnoses. The causes, and the emotions they evoke, are different in every case. But it is the finality of death that is the big thing. It is beyond our power to effect any change. It leaves us impotent, useless. Something else we are uncomfortable with. This makes some angry, forces others to a supernatural denial of the facts, makes others despondent and depressed so they withdraw, give up and hasten the end. But which ever way we deal with it the result is always the same. And life marches on without us. We are soon forgotten, because we matter little in the great scheme of things. We are only important to ourselves, and if we are lucky, a very few individuals. It is humanity that lives on, not individuals, and so it is what we do for humanity that really counts.


tao

I respect your opinion, but I have a different view of life.
The totality of humanity begins with the individual. That doesn't mean that somehow I am of great importance.
But each of us has a part to play in the scheme of things.
I have no idea why I am still alive. I thank God for the chance to be here to be part of my family as my wife and I age, as my children have been married and as my 1st grandchild is to be born in a few days. I consider those to be miracles to enjoy. But from my nuclear family there are other families in my life- my wife's large family, my children's spouses families and my own relatives.
You sound existential in your beliefs. I have great respect for existentialism and have studied it in psychology, philosophy and literature. I came to believe in God, maybe as a crutch, maybe as a deluded attempt to make my life seem more important, as you say. I only know that I believe in prayer; there is no reason that I am still alive and I am blessed to have lived as long as I have. I agree that what we contribute to humanity is our
journey on earth.
Thanks for your ideas. Let's talk again. David

 

[Snoopy]

I see that your family is a whole interfaith organisation all on its own! Have you then fashioned your beliefs as a sort of amalgam from theirs (ie Sikhism, Hinduism and Christianity)?

I come from a Christian background, but I only ever attended church when required at “formal” occasions. I have not been able to accept the existence of a soul, nor (therefore) its transmigration.

s.

 

[Tao_Equus]

I respect your opinion, but I have a different view of life.
The totality of humanity begins with the individual. That doesn't mean that somehow I am of great importance.
But each of us has a part to play in the scheme of things.
I have no idea why I am still alive. I thank God for the chance to be here to be part of my family as my wife and I age, as my children have been married and as my 1st grandchild is to be born in a few days. I consider those to be miracles to enjoy. But from my nuclear family there are other families in my life- my wife's large family, my children's spouses families and my own relatives.
You sound existential in your beliefs. I have great respect for existentialism and have studied it in psychology, philosophy and literature. I came to believe in God, maybe as a crutch, maybe as a deluded attempt to make my life seem more important, as you say. I only know that I believe in prayer; there is no reason that I am still alive and I am blessed to have lived as long as I have. I agree that what we contribute to humanity is our
journey on earth.
Thanks for your ideas. Let's talk again. David

Hi david,

On this forum I have sort of slipped into the habit of a combative dialogue and this thread shows it creeps in even where I least want it to. My apologies.

I am not a card carrying existentialist, its not what I call myself, but I did enjoy reading Sartes books back when.. But I also associate closely with Jung's ideas on some things... its not that I cannot abide a spiritual dimension in an individual... but I do reject and refute the concept of deity.

As I said above I am often in combative mode here, and so sometimes to uphold a point I carry a point to its philosophical conclusion, even if I am not certain it is correct. I am no scholar or intellectual, just someone who thinks a little too much about unknowables. And perhaps I enjoy a good argument

I think the question you asked was more or less swept away in my own polemic in my first reply. I have not had to personally experience your struggle. But I have been in the position of those loved ones around you that have to watch on. In many senses it is the same suffering, only they do not face the final consequence. Though I am sure there are those who would gladly swap places if they could. Being faced with our mortality and that of those we love can and does bring out the best in us in many cases. I am happy for you that you are at peace with your illness, and trust this is in part as a result of the support you get from your family and friends. Your story does touch me and I wish you continued peace and happiness.

Regards

tao

 

[dmsingh]

I see that your family is a whole interfaith organisation all on its own! Have you then fashioned your beliefs as a sort of amalgam from theirs (ie Sikhism, Hinduism and Christianity)?

I come from a Christian background, but I only ever attended church when required at “formal” occasions. I have not been able to accept the existence of a soul, nor (therefore) its transmigration.

s.

I may have too much religious input. When my Dad died we had a Sikh ceremony which was really intense. My Mom had a Christian ceremony. I have no proof of a soul. But I have studied Hinduism and Sikhism in a cursory way. And I accept the possibility of transmigration and the existence of a soul.
I have come to believe in prayer and the support it affords. I have no other reason to understand why I am still alive other than faith in a higher being. Spirituality might describe it.
I have also used Traditional Chinese Medicine and accupuncture to help with pain.

thanks for your reply, David

 

[dmsingh]

Hi david,

On this forum I have sort of slipped into the habit of a combative dialogue and this thread shows it creeps in even where I least want it to. My apologies.

I am not a card carrying existentialist, its not what I call myself, but I did enjoy reading Sartes books back when.. But I also associate closely with Jung's ideas on some things... its not that I cannot abide a spiritual dimension in an individual... but I do reject and refute the concept of deity.

As I said above I am often in combative mode here, and so sometimes to uphold a point I carry a point to its philosophical conclusion, even if I am not certain it is correct. I am no scholar or intellectual, just someone who thinks a little too much about unknowables. And perhaps I enjoy a good argument

I think the question you asked was more or less swept away in my own polemic in my first reply. I have not had to personally experience your struggle. But I have been in the position of those loved ones around you that have to watch on. In many senses it is the same suffering, only they do not face the final consequence. Though I am sure there are those who would gladly swap places if they could. Being faced with our mortality and that of those we love can and does bring out the best in us in many cases. I am happy for you that you are at peace with your illness, and trust this is in part as a result of the support you get from your family and friends. Your story does touch me and I wish you continued peace and happiness.

Regards

tao

Tao
You need not apologize for your thoughts. I don't find them combative. I have subscribed to Existentialism- Sartre and
Rollo May, Camus' writings. I also find Jung interesting.
Have you read much about his theory of synchronicity? I found
this info several months ago, but haven't looked at it in any depth-

"Jung coined the word to describe what he called "temporally coincident occurrences of acausal events." Jung variously described synchronicity as an "acausal connecting principle", "meaningful coincidence" and "acausal parallelism".

Synchronicity may be what I interpret to be God and it may be Jung's own explanation for God. I haven't had time to ponder
the concept, but if it is Jung, it is worth considering.

David

 

[Tao_Equus]

Tao
You need not apologize for your thoughts. I don't find them combative. I have subscribed to Existentialism- Sartre and
Rollo May, Camus' writings. I also find Jung interesting.
Have you read much about his theory of synchronicity? I found
this info several months ago, but haven't looked at it in any depth-

"Jung coined the word to describe what he called "temporally coincident occurrences of acausal events." Jung variously described synchronicity as an "acausal connecting principle", "meaningful coincidence" and "acausal parallelism".

Synchronicity may be what I interpret to be God and it may be Jung's own explanation for God. I haven't had time to ponder
the concept, but if it is Jung, it is worth considering.

David

Hi David,

Jung, (and Pauli), were amazing thinkers. To link quantum physics into causality an so explain synchronicity. I have experienced many synchronicities or coincidences of that type through my life. Amazingly improbable events that get down on their knees and beg not to be dismissed as pure chance.

To test his theory Jung attempted to use the study of astrological charts for married couples. He predicted three possible correlations should occur, conjunctions of shared houses, if synchronicity was at work. He found all three. But! And this is a big BUT, he had them divided into 3 batches to search for the three conjunction patterns. In each case he found all of cases had what he was looking for in that group. In three piles he scored 3 100% hits for exactly what he hoped to find. In other words all he really found was that his own expectation was confirmed in each result. This was a great find in its own right however.

I do believe in some kind of synchronicity. And I think Jung was possibly right that it is enabled on a quantum level. But I am a Gaia theorist, I believe all life on Earth to be a single super-organism that is self sustaining and creates for itself the conditions it needs to thrive. This would also explain synchronicity. Imagine you are a cell in an organism. When you need something, say oxygen, the body unconciously detects and delivers. I think this is what synchronicity is on a planet wide scale. We do not understand the mechanisms yet but the biosphere is a soup of living material capable through electro-magnetic fields, or perhaps on a quantum level, of communication. Unfortunately every experiment conducted to analyse prayer has produced inconclusive results. But all such experiments have viewed the individuals sense of need and not the collective imperative, which is perhaps what we need to study to see results. Though even as I write I am thinking, war is not a collective benefit, yet it continues to plague us. Or perhaps it is and it is wrong to infer human altruism onto Gaia.

Anyhow there is a thread here on synchronicity that I remembered and dug up for your perusal. Hope you enjoy

http://www.interfaith.org/forum/synchronicity-330.html

Regards

tao

 

[dmsingh]

Hi David,

Jung, (and Pauli), were amazing thinkers. To link quantum physics into causality an so explain synchronicity. I have experienced many synchronicities or coincidences of that type through my life. Amazingly improbable events that get down on their knees and beg not to be dismissed as pure chance.

To test his theory Jung attempted to use the study of astrological charts for married couples. He predicted three possible correlations should occur, conjunctions of shared houses, if synchronicity was at work. He found all three. But! And this is a big BUT, he had them divided into 3 batches to search for the three conjunction patterns. In each case he found all of cases had what he was looking for in that group. In three piles he scored 3 100% hits for exactly what he hoped to find. In other words all he really found was that his own expectation was confirmed in each result. This was a great find in its own right however.

I do believe in some kind of synchronicity. And I think Jung was possibly right that it is enabled on a quantum level. But I am a Gaia theorist, I believe all life on Earth to be a single super-organism that is self sustaining and creates for itself the conditions it needs to thrive. This would also explain synchronicity. Imagine you are a cell in an organism. When you need something, say oxygen, the body unconciously detects and delivers. I think this is what synchronicity is on a planet wide scale. We do not understand the mechanisms yet but the biosphere is a soup of living material capable through electro-magnetic fields, or perhaps on a quantum level, of communication. Unfortunately every experiment conducted to analyse prayer has produced inconclusive results. But all such experiments have viewed the individuals sense of need and not the collective imperative, which is perhaps what we need to study to see results. Though even as I write I am thinking, war is not a collective benefit, yet it continues to plague us. Or perhaps it is and it is wrong to infer human altruism onto Gaia.

Anyhow there is a thread here on synchronicity that I remembered and dug up for your perusal. Hope you enjoy

http://www.interfaith.org/forum/synchronicity-330.html

Regards

tao

Good morning Tao
I just noticed that you are in Scotland or at least your ISP links you there. My Mom's parents were Scots (I'll have to look to see which town). They emigrated to Canada around 1900.
Last year I joined the National Geographic Genograph Project.
The genetic tracing takes my ancestors out of Africa and eventually to India, where my Dad was born. I also joined the Family Tree DNA project. A number of my genetic matches come from Scotland, which would be fine, except that is the mitochondrial
side not the Y dna side which was tested. Granted, we are all connected genetically in some way. But for higher genetic matches from Scotland, an ancestor would have had to have once been in Scotland and then migrated to India.
The odds that my Dad would marry a woman who was 100% Scottish, both immigrants to the US in the 1930's, and that I have an unknown connection between India and Scotland is intriguing.
If I'm missing something obvious, let me down easy. Synchronicity?

David

 

[Penguin]

I was diagnosed with Guillan Barre or a similar disorder 10 years ago. I still suffer the symptoms and effects, but there is no known cause for my condition. There are many diseases or disorders with no known cause- some are life threatening, some are life ending. My first diagnosis was that I had a terminal disease. I lived with that despair for 9 months before being diagnosed with Guillan Barre or Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy.
Having a life threatening illness called into question the role or influence of God in my life. When the diagnosis went from terminal to life threatening, I was ecstatic. I'd gone from spending the last Thanksgiving, Christmas and birthdays with my wife and children, to living to see more times of celebration.
I've prayed to and praised God for my chance to live longer, even though I am disabled in several ways. I don't feel anger or bitterness even though I've lost the ability to walk, play my guitar, play golf and do other things I took for granted. When the total despair I felt with my terminal diagnosis was lifted, I felt and feel much gratitude for the life I have.
I've since had two more episodes of nearly dying. I have become accepting of the fact that I may die soon and without warning. I don't understand why this has happened to me- a disorder with no cause and no cure, living with chronic pain- but alive.
I am grateful for having 10 more years of life. I am now retired after a long career as a teacher. Retirement means more rest and little stress. It also gives me more time to contemplate life's and God's mysteries.

That's why I started this thread. If you have observations or experiences to share, I'd be very interested in what you have to say. David

I really feel for you and am so sorry to read of your suffering. I don't know what to say, however I wish you all the very best indeed. I believe that the more we suffer in life the greater the fruits we receive when we pass. I hope through Christ your pickings be rich and plentiful my friend.

"God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas..but for scars" Elbert Hubbard.

Take it easy, god be with you

 

[yahoo.com]

Synchronicity may be what I interpret to be God and it may be Jung's own explanation for God. I haven't had time to ponder
the concept, but if it is Jung, it is worth considering.

David[/quote]


Speaking of synchronicity...

A few years ago I was vibrant and healthy (though admittedly very stressed out) when I had a neurological crash that appeared at first blush similar to a stroke. Within hours, stroke was ruled out and the two guesses on the table were brain tumor or MS. The next 15 days were spent in three separate hospitals. It was quickly narrowed down to some type of rapidly progressing demyelinating disease. I was tested for Guillane-Barre and other neurological diseases and was ultimately given the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. I was on interferons until my liver began to fail. Then I was on a drug called Copaxone until a sudden and serious allergic reaction. Then I tried chemo, but only for a short time. I am now on an experimental drug (or not, I may be getting the placebo) that finally doesn't involve injections. The initial crash left the left side of my body in chaos, with me unable to control it. I used a wheelchair for a year. It cost me the job I loved most, but I was and am so very blessed like you to have the family, friends, and husband that I have. I was able to get out of my chair and use a cane, which I did for another year and a half. This last year I've seen two small relapses but, with a bit of work, I was able to bounce back to my post-crash best. MRIs confirm a progression of demyelination though my symptoms have remained mild over the last year. There isn't a good medical explanation for the outward appearance of remission when the MRIs tell a different story. My pain has subsided and my strength is increasing. This was happening before I started the clinical trial, kind of interesting.

The weeks leading up to my initial illness were fraught with stress for me and I'd never been more emotionally or personally challenged in my life. Through tears I begged my Higher Power to shake up my world to let me see what's truly enduring and important, and what falls away. In that prayer, I also asked for something material, which I've never made a habit of. I asked God, "As long as you're listening, I could really use a new set of wheels." (Approaching my God with the humor I believe She possesses is not new to me.)

Fifteen days later I was rolling out of the hospital in my shiney new wheelchair. I looked toward the sky and burst out laughing, "This isn't exactly what I had in mind, but thank you!!"

Today's discovery of your post, of your struggles and your journey, that is the kind of synchronicity that I, too, call God. I believe our paths have crossed on our respective and not-so-different journeys for a higher purpose. I'm sorry to hear of the trials you've endured, but then again I am elated to hear of you enduring them with a good heart and strong spirit. Many continued blessings to you and your family.

It's good to run into you again, my friend.

Zen

 

[dmsingh]

Synchronicity may be what I interpret to be God and it may be Jung's own explanation for God. I haven't had time to ponder
the concept, but if it is Jung, it is worth considering.

David

Speaking of synchronicity...

A few years ago I was vibrant and healthy (though admittedly very stressed out) when I had a neurological crash that appeared at first blush similar to a stroke. Within hours, stroke was ruled out and the two guesses on the table were brain tumor or MS. The next 15 days were spent in three separate hospitals. It was quickly narrowed down to some type of rapidly progressing demyelinating disease. I was tested for Guillane-Barre and other neurological diseases and was ultimately given the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. I was on interferons until my liver began to fail. Then I was on a drug called Copaxone until a sudden and serious allergic reaction. Then I tried chemo, but only for a short time. I am now on an experimental drug (or not, I may be getting the placebo) that finally doesn't involve injections. The initial crash left the left side of my body in chaos, with me unable to control it. I used a wheelchair for a year. It cost me the job I loved most, but I was and am so very blessed like you to have the family, friends, and husband that I have. I was able to get out of my chair and use a cane, which I did for another year and a half. This last year I've seen two small relapses but, with a bit of work, I was able to bounce back to my post-crash best. MRIs confirm a progression of demyelination though my symptoms have remained mild over the last year. There isn't a good medical explanation for the outward appearance of remission when the MRIs tell a different story. My pain has subsided and my strength is increasing. This was happening before I started the clinical trial, kind of interesting.

The weeks leading up to my initial illness were fraught with stress for me and I'd never been more emotionally or personally challenged in my life. Through tears I begged my Higher Power to shake up my world to let me see what's truly enduring and important, and what falls away. In that prayer, I also asked for something material, which I've never made a habit of. I asked God, "As long as you're listening, I could really use a new set of wheels." (Approaching my God with the humor I believe She possesses is not new to me.)

Fifteen days later I was rolling out of the hospital in my shiney new wheelchair. I looked toward the sky and burst out laughing, "This isn't exactly what I had in mind, but thank you!!"

Today's discovery of your post, of your struggles and your journey, that is the kind of synchronicity that I, too, call God. I believe our paths have crossed on our respective and not-so-different journeys for a higher purpose. I'm sorry to hear of the trials you've endured, but then again I am elated to hear of you enduring them with a good heart and strong spirit. Many continued blessings to you and your family.

It's good to run into you again, my friend.

Zen[/quote]


I am in awe to read your story. And in awe that we share a similar
health story here. And in awe because my granddaughter was born yesterday afternoon and I got to hold her today. I haven't held a new baby for 32 years when I held her mother, my baby. There are moments in life that are too incredible to believe and I've had so many in my life. Call it synchronicity, or fate or destiny. I
believe God to be my benefactor. By most accounts, I shouldn't
be here to do these things. So I give thanks, through prayer, and enjoy the moment. I am enjoying this moment. David

 

[dmsingh]

I really feel for you and am so sorry to read of your suffering. I don't know what to say, however I wish you all the very best indeed. I believe that the more we suffer in life the greater the fruits we receive when we pass. I hope through Christ your pickings be rich and plentiful my friend.

"God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas..but for scars" Elbert Hubbard.

Take it easy, god be with you

God will find that I have scars. But then God might already know where those scars are; I can't remember them all anymore.
thanks for your regards, David

 

[Tao_Equus]

Hi David,

Congratulations on becoming a Grandad!!

Lol...us Scots get everywhere. Easy to tell if your 'Scottish genes' are expressed or not. If you drink too much and swear a lot they are!!

But more seriously, there have been two waves in which Scots (Celtic Scots) reached India. The first was in prehistory when Celtic culture was at its peak and reached from Scandinavia to India. The 2nd, of course, was during the days of empire.

Synchronicity or coincidence I leave for India in a few days. And my name is David.


tao

 

[dmsingh]

Hi David,

Congratulations on becoming a Grandad!!

Lol...us Scots get everywhere. Easy to tell if your 'Scottish genes' are expressed or not. If you drink too much and swear a lot they are!!

But more seriously, there have been two waves in which Scots (Celtic Scots) reached India. The first was in prehistory when Celtic culture was at its peak and reached from Scandinavia to India. The 2nd, of course, was during the days of empire.

Synchronicity or coincidence I leave for India in a few days. And my name is David.


tao

David-
What is going on? We'll never really know, but life is full of surprises, coincidences and synchronicity at many levels.
My Dad came from a small town outside of Ludhiana.
The Celtic prehistory expansion to India might explain the genetic markers. Intermarriage during the Raj is possible.
It is the Y DNA aspect of it that is puzzling.

David