Has anyone NOT done the Santa Claus thing?

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Dondi

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I wonder who here has not done the Santa Claus, for whatever reason.

I, for one, chose not to play Santa with my kids. Not because of religious reasons, but because I remember how sorely disappointed I was in finding out the hard way that the truth.

As a child, every Christmas, I would make it a point to wake up about 4 o'clock in the morning and sneak down to the living room to make sure Santa didn't miss our house. Sure enough, to my delight, the mountain of gifts spread well into the carpet area underneath the tree. And without so much as a rattle or shake, I'd make an inventory of my cut and noiselessly make my way back to my bedroom, and nearly not get back to sleep, perhaps thinking about Santa's stealth technology.

One Christmas, when I was 9, my covert operation ran into a bit of a snag when I discovered that no 'new' presents awaited me at the tree. Well, since the Christmas tree was in the corner, I reasoned that perhaps the gifts were hidden back behind the tree, so I proceeded to press my way between the wall and the tree and slid along toward the corner, sweeping the area with my eyes to see if I could spot the displaced booty. Unfortunately, I underestimated the clearance between the wall and the tree and before I could react, the entire tree toppled over with a loud thud. Broken ornaments, broken bulbs, and tinsle showered the carpet and I froze in horror as the tree darkened at my feet. Before I could analyzed my options, I heard the booming sound of my mother's footsteps rushing down the stairs to see what was the commotion. I looked at her, she looked at the mess, then at me with astonishment, sat down on the piano bench and started crying. (Caveat: You will understand that as a hyperactive child, I wasn't exactly a stress-free child). So as she's crying, I run up to her in tears and profusely made apology, "I'm sorry Mommy, I'm sorry". And so we cried and hugged for a time together. Then when we recovered, She asked me to help put the tree back up, salvaged what ornaments and decorations we could. Found and replaced the broken bulbs that extinquished the tree, and then we proceeded back upstairs to me bed where she tucked me in and went to sleep almost immediately.

Now you may be asking why the change in procedure regarding the nonplacement of the gifts. Turns out the night before was an unsually late session of gift-wrapping and therefore it was decided that the gifts would be placed under the tree early the next morning. Unfortunately, they never knew about my midnight commando ops and therefore never anticipated any mishap.

Meanwhile, as my mind sifted through the events of the night before, I began to have my suspicions about this Santa fellow. And soon afterward, reality set in. It was a bit of a letdown, as you might imagine, or even seen in the eyes of your own children. I didn't understand the rational about putting up a front and passing credit for the gifts to someone I'd really hardly knew, except that I stood in line for someone I would only see for a couple of minutes, whilst my parents took careful note of the wishlist I confided to Santa.

It has since dawned on me that the Santa thing is not really for the kids. It's for the parents. In some misguided manner, parents seem to think that thrusting this deceitful rouse upon the innocence of child is a good thing. They seem to take revile in the fact that they will give their children joy in believing in a mythical character while secretly knowing that it is they who have provided the smile on their kids' faces.

Why? I'm still puzzled over it.

So as a parent, I decided not to subject my children to this. I want my kids to know that their parents spend their hard-earned dollars and deserve the credit where credit is due. Why should I allow their appreciation be diverted to someone who doesn't exist? And I can safely say that my children never missed believing in Santa Claus. They have turned out quite well, thank you.
 
Ou Kid-who's now 33 and still gets "Santa" gifts from us:D as well as from "us"-and now the grandkids do as an extra besides the ones from us. Santa as a semi-anonymous and mysterious spirit of giving is in a way saying that the universe and not just your family is looking out for you.;) earl
 
We did Santa, I do Santa, matter of fact tommorow night I'll be Santa for cubscouts...

I found out when I woke up and watched dad get my train down from my closet. I guess I slept thru it before. Ever since Santa gave me that train he'd set it up before Christmas morn and add some more track or a new car as a gift. I was then 'in on the secret' till my little sister figured it out.

I don't know when my kids gave up on Santa the mystery, but they keep as I do Santa the spirit of Christmas. I do know it was third or fourth grade my son still a believer had proof positive that Santa existed. As he told his classmates, "I know my dad wouldn't buy all that stuff."

While I find it hillarious that a 1950's Coca Cola advert basically invented our modern day Santa Claus and while I have issues that 'he' assists in maintaining the notion of the anthropomorphic white male god figure keeping lists on who is naughty and nice and determining rewards... the hypocrite and romantic in me loves the season and the spirit that Santa brings to Christmas.
 
I never had encouragement to put much stock in Santa, and I never had a Great Pumpkin crisis. My folks may have done Santa (not sure) but I remember by age 3 them telling me and sis he wasn't real. Since then sis has had children of her own, and she chooses to play it middle-of-the road. Her children know Santa's not real but still play along with the Santa thing. They're not big Santa fans, but they're able to get along without spoiling the other kids fun. I think children ought to learn about irony (with or without Santa) definitely before age 10 -- girls probably sooner since they develop sooner.
 
Great thread. I do the Santa thing because I remember the whole "wonder" thing my daughter discovered the farce when I accidentally used the same "Santa" wrapping paper on something I said was from me. Oops... but she played along for a couple more years before fessing up that she knew the truth..


Now my son is a bit smarter.... He asks Santa for something .. then makes sure I have enough money to get it.
 
Hi Dondi,

Thank you for sharing your story. Sorry about your Santa disappointment. I can understand that reason for not doing Santa with your own family.

We do Santa but we keep it fairly transparent, so that at three they believe but by five or six the inconsistencies add up and they start to question. We stress the Christmas spirit of giving, as Earl mentioned, and also point out to them that a lot of the presents are from family and from us, not Santa. So, we just try not to overdo it. My older daughter is 8 and I'm pretty sure she's figured it out.

And yes, the adults still get Santa gifts under our tree!

Blessed Advent everyone!

Laurie
 
I believed in Santa til I was like five, then I just gave up giving a hoots, I was just interested in what presents my family had got me, as I hadn't recalled that fat *********** ever sending me a gift!

There is actually another moral/story there lol... But yeah, where was I Santa... Ah yeah, I found out when I was like 11 or something that he wasn't real, but by then I was like go figure......

Anyway... I'll make up a point to me posting.. Uhm, I when I am in that role, will no not do the "santa thing" I guess semi religious reason but also like you the pure lying factor.....

Santa will not be said to exist, or well I won't encourage it and make my children (who have minds like a sponge and will soak up and take whatever you give them....) that there is a santa if they want to take that belife up, go for it lol... And same goes for when they are old enough to be aware of religion... Islamic, Jewish, Christian, Scientologist, Satanic or even A worshipper of the TV.. Do it, it's the kids path, *shruggs* I'd rather they focused just on helping others that are needy and help make others feel special on christmas, and let that be their grand reward from the event... Then being fake/two faced to get on a list of greed to go sit on some fat stranges knee and make his list of demands upon the world....

I want this! I want this! and That! and this!

But it is there path...

Or you have those who use it as a form of punishment... BE GOOD!! Or you aint on the list! "Ya names not down you're not commin' in." But then give them gifts in the end anyway no matter what!! (talking from many self experiences there....) Yes... There is that line... And you sure taught me not to cross it... Thanks Santa! (Santa has the kids back...)

I think... I am going to be quiet now..........
 
Wow, Alex, that's about the drunkest thing I've ever read.

But I did decipher your point, thank you. Basically, you're not inclined to play Santa with your kids, but you won't discourage it either. Same attitude in regards to religion, eh?

Allow me to set the record straight. I do not discourage other parents to play Santa with their children, nor would I ruin that illusion. Sometimes, I wonder how kids can't see through it. The other day I was in Applebees and they had an area where kids could see 'Santa'. But the Santa was so obviously some teenage kids in a Santa suit. They didn't even bother to 'stuff' him to correct proportions. And he expressed the Christmas cheer with words like 'dude' and 'awesome' and 'rad'. Yet the children seemed not to see past the ruse. Either that or they did, but suspended their belief, for the alternative would be unthinkable, or else maybe they feared would not get the gift they wanted if they didn't believe in Santa. It was funny and sad at the same time.
 
Well think about it... To a degree I think you can compare religious views and santa views for a child.. They relate very much so. Example some say God/Santa exists, some say he clearly doesn't... I have a 32 yer old friend that gets all ****ty when you make fun of santa or try to tell her santa isn't real... It simply is just a belife set, and I don't feel anyone should ever push a belife onto another, belife is a tailor made design, it's made to fit and suit the individual.

I know it can be strange to think "kids fall for that??" But they are so willing to believe :D

My words, "drunkest you've ever read" lol was it -that- bad? *cringes*
 
Dondi said:
Yet the ____________ seemed not to see past the ruse. Either that or they did, but suspended their belief, for the alternative would be unthinkable....It was funny and sad at the same time.
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Oh the myriad of topics this statement could have been made about....
 
You poor, sad non-believers you!! If you do not believe he will not come!! Thats how it works. He can only be real if you suspend all rational evidence to the contrary and pray undying homage to coca cola inc. I thought if anybody was to understand that...you guys would! ;)
 
I intend to do with my kids (if and when I have kids), the same thing my mother did with me. I honestly think it was the optimum way to "do" the Santa Claus thing.

What we were told as children was the legend of St. Nicholas and the point of Santa-- that it is a spirit of giving that started with one Saint and continued on through the ages and people kept the legend and memory of him going through imitation. The mystery and fun of it was preserved in that no one knew who their Santa was. We were, each year, Santas to other children in nearby group and foster homes. My sister and I each got a child, shopped for him or her, wrapped the gifts, and mom helped us write a little note from "Santa." At the same time, we each got one large gift each year and a letter from our Santa. We were told that we had "a" Santa, but no one "was" Santa. Everyone who was generous and loved to be kind to kids, including us, did the Santa thing... and it was this spirit of giving and the joy of fulfilling children's wishes that was the magic of Christmas.

My mother was very, very careful in playing our Santa. I had no idea who my Santa was until I was an adult; I only knew that our Santa must be someone my mother trusted so they could get in the front door, and had to be exceptionally good at knowing me, because I also did covert midnight ops and Santa was never caught. LOL My poor mom. ;) I seriously thought it couldn't have been my mother, because we were poor and Santa brought one big gift a year (typically something worth about $75-100, which was a fortune to a family under poverty line). I later found that most years, it was mom who somehow skimped and saved enough for that gift and one large one for my birthday/Christmas... some lean years, the rest of the family pitched in. There was no disappointment, because the entire thing was done transparently, and yet with the same magic and generosity that makes the Santa tradition so much fun and brings it out of commercialism and back into the realm of the real meaning of Christmas.

I will say that though I loved the gift, what I loved more was Santa's letters. Every year, Santa wrote a very detailed and long letter (in a very distinctive and non-mom-ish handwriting) that described how proud s/he was of us, all our accomplishments that year, the little things that we were doing to work on our character flaws (such as a hot temper or forgetting to contribute in chores)... Santa's letters describe my progress toward adulthood through my childhood, and for that, they are precious. Of course, I have letters from my mom- lots of them- ranging from little lunchbox notes to manifestos about how much she loves us. But Santa's letters were the historical chronicle of our childhood growth and development from a different, outside observational viewpoint. Leave it to a sociologist and educator (mom) to come up with this. LOL Yes, I imagine it was painstaking and time-consuming. But it was awesome.

Santa stopped giving presents in the 6th grade, but s/he gave one ornament and one letter per year until the end of High School, leaving me with a complete chronicle of my life from birth to 18- the stuff I remember, the stuff I forgot, and the stuff that now seems so easy but at the time were seemingly insurmountable obstacles of development. Santa's letters remind me... I'm still growing, still need to give... not just a gift, but the gift of my time and attention.
 
Well, see, path, that's the way it really should be. I really appreciate your undoubtably exceptional story. I really love the way your mother played it off. She used Santa to teach you to give, rather than merely get. If I had thought of it, perhaps I would have went the same route with my kids. But the lesson I'm trying to teach them now is the same. "It is more blessed to give than to receive." And I thank God that they are getting it.
 
Yep. I'm afraid in the States, the tendency is for Christmas to teach us consumerism. :( Not exactly the point of any of the December religious holidays.

What matters is, I think, the lessons. I was just sharing one creative mom's idea. :D

And one other thing... I think it is important to teach kids not to pity people, especially poor people. Pity is not a nice way to think of people. Compassion, yes. Empathy, yes. But pity is condescending. We were not taught to pity ourselves for being poor; we were taught that people can be rich in different ways. Giving to kids in the foster homes was never about "those poor kids, we should take pity on them" but rather "Thank God there are opportunities to show our love of Christ to other people through caring for them." Helping others, giving to others... it is something that automatically gives back to us. While I try to alleviate social problems and give, I am grateful for the chance to give, if that makes sense. This gratefulness for the homeless guy to give a dollar to, to a kid to play Santa for, to a stray cat to rescue and take to the no-kill shelter... the gratitude is what makes the giving joyful rather than something one must do or does out of pity or obligation, which set up relationships of inequality between the giver and the receiver. The giver should be just as grateful, if not more so, than the receiver of the chance to have this interaction. It's our chance to see Christ in others and serve them-- that's a very big gift.

Just my 2 cents... not directed at you, more just like a tangent thought. :)
 
You know, I helped served a Thanksgiving dinner at a church for the needy one year, some time ago. And while I felt some satisfaction that these people were being fed a decent meal, I later realized that this does them little good for the rest of the year. And to be honest, I felt worse than had I not done it at all. Perhaps my motives were a bit twisted. Seems I was doing it to generate some sense of 'doing good' rather than any real concern for the people I fed. I stopped serving Thanksgiving dinners for that reason.

A couple of months ago, I seriously considered starting a food pantry because I figured if I was going to show any real compassion, I would need to be available to feed the poor year round. But right now, our church just doesn't have the room or facilities for a pantry. And besides, I live in a fairly well-off community and there are already several food pantries available. I really want a pantry that will be integrated into our church, for there are some members and bus kid families that aren't all that well off. We were able to give away several Thanksgiving baskets, but again I'd like to do more. But my Pastor cautioned that some folks will take advantage of any opportunity to get something for free, so descretion is in order. Not that he was discouraging me from having a compassionate heart, but he knows from experience (our church does provide some relief for folks who ask for it).

I dunno really what to do. Perhaps I can volunteer some time at one of these existing pantries. Or something.
 
Volunteerism of all sorts is, I think, a good thing. But I find in my own life that what is really good for me in terms of giving is to pray that God allows beings in need of anything to find their way to me, and that He provides me with what they need.

Sometimes that is literally feeding the homeless guy. Sometimes a homeless guy asks, and I have no cash with me. But I can treat him like a human being rather than a trashcan or street light. I can look into his eyes, smile kindly, tell him that I do not have cash, but that I wish him a good day. I can pray for him as I go on. And that may be what the homeless guy needed most at that moment- someone to feel his humanity, to acknowledge him, to treat him normally, and to lift him up to God.

I trust that when someone needs a dollar, I have it and then I give it. And when someone needs a kind word, I'll have that instead and give that.

But yeah, I understand what you're saying about the Thanksgiving/Christmas giving. I always wonder... but what about last week? What about next week? Man cannot live on Christmas ham alone...
 
Dondi said:
You know, I helped served a Thanksgiving dinner at a church for the needy one year, some time ago. And while I felt some satisfaction that these people were being fed a decent meal, I later realized that this does them little good for the rest of the year....

...And besides, I live in a fairly well-off community and there are already several food pantries available.

I dunno really what to do. Perhaps I can volunteer some time at one of these existing pantries. Or something.
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Namaste Dondi,

Your heart and energy are in the right place my brother you just need to find that place to serve..and I'm positive you will and you and your family will enjoy taking part.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are often the last time most centers need help, as they get so many volunteers, best to call and see when you can fill in, knowing what they need most is a regular schedule, one meal a week or a month, it really doesn't matter as long as they can count on you it helps them.

As for well to do communities you never know. My family's church in Prince Frederick (round the corner from you I believe) takes part in housing and feeding the homeless in the colder winter months, each church taks a week, and cots are passed on from location to location...sundown till 9 am they are given a place to stay a dinner and a breakfast. It is needed in that community,
 
Dondi said:
You know, I helped served a Thanksgiving dinner at a church for the needy one year, some time ago. And while I felt some satisfaction that these people were being fed a decent meal, I later realized that this does them little good for the rest of the year. And to be honest, I felt worse than had I not done it at all. Perhaps my motives were a bit twisted. Seems I was doing it to generate some sense of 'doing good' rather than any real concern for the people I fed. I stopped serving Thanksgiving dinners for that reason.

A couple of months ago, I seriously considered starting a food pantry because I figured if I was going to show any real compassion, I would need to be available to feed the poor year round. But right now, our church just doesn't have the room or facilities for a pantry. And besides, I live in a fairly well-off community and there are already several food pantries available. I really want a pantry that will be integrated into our church, for there are some members and bus kid families that aren't all that well off. We were able to give away several Thanksgiving baskets, but again I'd like to do more. But my Pastor cautioned that some folks will take advantage of any opportunity to get something for free, so descretion is in order. Not that he was discouraging me from having a compassionate heart, but he knows from experience (our church does provide some relief for folks who ask for it).

I dunno really what to do. Perhaps I can volunteer some time at one of these existing pantries. Or something.
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I would think that there was a soup kitchen of some sort in your area (there is one Downtown Frederick), that can always use assistance of many kinds.

As far as playing Santa, I did (went so far as to take little boots and put soot on them from the fire place, then made the boots grow bigger as they approached the tree... it worked for quite a few years.
 
path said:
For the most part, I agree, Dondi. What I'm trying to say is that many churches I've been to (and many Christians I know) are not focused on the preparation... they're focused on the reward. Hence, they aren't very interested in working on social justice or environmental sustainability, for example. Their idea is that it's all ending soon anyway, or they'll be in heaven soon, so what's the point? Just let Jesus come back to clean everything up, and in the meantime, contribute primarily by criticizing any humanistic or spiritual attempts to alleviate suffering and aid human development, go to church, quote the Bible at people, and pat oneself on the back for one's righteousness.
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Sadly, you're right. It says judgement starts at the house of God. I think people are in for a rude awakening if all they rely on is their 'faith in Christ'. Most efforts are geared toward evangelism in the fundamental churches. But that ought only be a first step toward bringing people into a life in God. Not only teaching and praying for their needs, but providing the very things that will fulfill that need, if possible. Our love show show substance, not just platitude.

I don't have any problems with humanistic efforts to alleiviate suffering. I'm glad there are more charitable organizations to help the poor and needy. We need that more in the world. Nor have I heard much in the way of criticism in that regard, at least not in the churches I've attended. I wouldn't know why there would be.

The danger of having no belief in an afterlife or new earth is that most people are not strong enough to withstand it and still keep hope for bettering the world. They descend into apathy or depression. The danger of emphasizing these beliefs is that most people are not strong enough to withstand it and still work toward change in themselves and their world NOW. They descend into apathy and self-righteousness.
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And as you've said, we need to put some Jewishness into our Christianity. Jews for the most part aren't concerned so much in the afterlife as they are for the life here and now. What was it that Jesus said? "Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." - Matthew 6:34

I think there has to be a balance in our forward-thinking and our present condition. Just because there is a biblical reason to think the world will end doesn't mean we should wait around for it to come. That's not what Jesus mean when He said "occupy until I come". We aren't to be apathetic to what we believe is fate. Funny how some Christians hope to hasten the Great Tribulation when we probably could stave it off if we do our jobs right.


Religion becomes the opiate of the people, and without the internal daily individual and communal work of climbing toward perfection, toward being Christ-like and making "talk" into "walk," it all becomes stuff and nonsense without any real meat. People become slaves to the media and anyone leading them around by the nose, saying "here's how you must vote, what you must say, where you must go to church to be a Christian." And in their fear of hell, they follow. It takes courage to just follow the red letters and be in the world, but not of it. Christianity is as much prone to being of the world as anything else, so far as I can see. It is individual dedication that makes it otherwise.
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Indeed. You've a well-balanced reply. I think you've struck the heart of the issue with, "Prophesy is not future-telling. It is a warning." Most of the doom and gloom will be self-inflected...that which we will bring on ourselves.

And fear of hell should not be a motivator. There is enough hell in this world, which is why we need to try and change it. We need more hope than fear.
 
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