Where do all the teaspoons go?

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Muslimwoman, Apr 14, 2011.

  1. Muslimwoman

    Muslimwoman Coexistence insha'Allah

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    OMG DrumR I must have utensil deprivation syndrome, should I see a doctor?

    So my teaspoons could be out there in the universe stirring some ungodly brew which extra-terrestials will snort through the appendages in their armpits. If they invade Earth will I be partly responsible?
     
  2. wil

    wil UNeyeR1 Moderator

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    I once felt sorry for a man who had no spoon.

    So I gave him MW's.
     
  3. Muslimwoman

    Muslimwoman Coexistence insha'Allah

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    Oh well if it was a charitable act he was welcome to it

    ... he didn't snort an ungodly brew through armpit appendages did he?
     
  4. Sam Albion

    Sam Albion akaFrancisKing:ViveLeRoi!

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    ... I blame the secret bagheads...

    Top tip: plastic ones don't vanish... ; ) .....
     
  5. CliffDweller

    CliffDweller New Member

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    Where do the teaspoons go?
    While visually indistinguishable from other teaspoons, it becomes most interesting to note the number and type of places that these "utensils" may be found.

    Have you observed that many spoons find refuge in tool boxes? Could it be that these spoons may possess higher levels of testosterone, thus prefering the company of automotive tools? While often bright and shinney, these wayward utensils appear to have have no hesitation for getting truly dirty.

    Other teaspoons prefer to cohabit with garden tools and may often be found in the vicinity of flower beds, garden sheds and toxic weed preventatives. It is suspected that former mentioned spoons may posses an artistic "bent" or, in the extream of the latter case, may have grown tired of a daily and mudane fare of foodstuffs while none the less displaying a decided preference for the company of other implements within the "green and growing" community.

    Of course there exists the the hiding teaspoons. These can often be found in out of the way places such as under household appliances. They appear to prefer dark, quiet, places, that are rarely visited in one's normal routine. No matter how often one may retrieve them, they somehow return to the same place. It is suspected that they may have developed a reflective, introspective, and solitary nature.

    The last major category consists of the traveling teaspoons. These spoons have been known to fling themselves into trash containers in a wild attempt gain their freedom depending upon the highly developed transportation routes of the various sanitation departments more greater mobility. Ever nomadic, They tend to move from home to home and should one happen to find an "odd teaspoon" in your drawer, the probabilities are high that it is a traveling teaspoon that has decided to test the suitability of your drawer. Traveling teaspoons rarely stay for long in one place, yet there are those which have been occasionally known to take up a somewhat permanent residence. It has also been reported that, amongst this group, there may be a few that have developed a perverse sense humor in that the transient teaspoon appears to wait for "acceptance" within the household only to disappear the following week.
     
  6. Muslimwoman

    Muslimwoman Coexistence insha'Allah

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    OH WOW ... I have a teaspoon which doesn't belong to my set ... I have travelling teaspoons.

    Hmmm I wonder if I should tie them to the drawer?
     
  7. greymare

    greymare New Member

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    I know, I know MW, we could make squillions........................ a gps for teaspoons!!
    Of course it could make the average cutlery set price climb a little out of the average persons range, but still,,,,,,,,,, it could answer many questions of the universe........... we could attach them to socks too......... ahhhhhhh the possibilities......... now dont anyone patent this idea til I do.
     
  8. DrumR

    DrumR New Member

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    One may see a doctor, but the probabilities are also high that one may not.

    While I should like to un-equivocally state that

    "there is no truth to the rumor that armpit-snorting, extra-terrestrials exist,"

    Prudence (she with the lens of a loaded 2-bore para metric pump X-ray laser resting 'pon my ear) requires that one neither acknowledges nor denies the possibility of the existence of atheistic brew meisters from planets known or unknown.
     
  9. Vajradhara

    Vajradhara One of Many

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    haha! hilarious!

    my theory isn't original however i'll elaborate on it for you.

    there is a global problem effecting spoons, socks and underwear...gnomes. sure, the underpants gnomes are pretty focused on the underpants however don't think they haven't branched out into other potential revenue streams.

    the underpants gnomes have an agenda which we all need to be aware of:

    1. Collect underpants, socks and spoons.
    2.
    3. Profit.

    its a vast network of gnomes that are hoarding sought after commodities to later resell to us at enormous markup prices!

    i also blame eBay.
     
  10. DrumR

    DrumR New Member

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    A conspiracy theory?
    Perhaps. And Yet.
    What with the large number of internet Trolls to do their bidding, it is not all that far fetched to realize how the Gnomes came to have control of eBay.
     
  11. Muslimwoman

    Muslimwoman Coexistence insha'Allah

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    You mean they are going to sell us used underwear :eek:

    although with ebay nothing would surprise me lol
     
  12. seattlegal

    seattlegal Mercuræn Buddhist

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    I'll bet the unwashed used underwear is more profitable than the clean used underwear. :p
     
  13. Dream

    Dream New Member

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    That is terrible. Somehow we have to put a stop to this! Not everyone can afford to have staple items disappearing all of the time. I'm really glad someone started this thread, and I for one would like to hear ideas on how to end such unethical schemes -- a way to catch the culprits. We need something that is elegant, short and sweet and that doesn't involve stitching. I just am not into stitching.
     
  14. wil

    wil UNeyeR1 Moderator

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    I never expected that I'd ever say this, but someone needs to call the spanish inquistion.
     
  15. Muslimwoman

    Muslimwoman Coexistence insha'Allah

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    I've looked Wil but can't find their number
     
  16. Vajradhara

    Vajradhara One of Many

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    nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition Wil... nobody.
     
  17. Muslimwoman

    Muslimwoman Coexistence insha'Allah

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    well we might get one soon if somebody doesn't show up with my missing teaspoons soon lol
     
  18. wil

    wil UNeyeR1 Moderator

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    I've just had a spam bot review this entire thread...

    His answers indicate that it was the chauffer in the library with a candlestick...

    and the teaspoons can be found in the lingerie hamper
     
  19. Muslimwoman

    Muslimwoman Coexistence insha'Allah

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    murdered with a teaspoon ... gosh that would take a while
     
  20. Vajradhara

    Vajradhara One of Many

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    to quote from the best actor in the entire Robin Hood movie series:
    "Well at least I didn't use a spoon."
     

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