Two mommies is 'too many,' Dobson writes in Time column

This Christian focus on homosexuality is ludicrous. Homosexuality occurs throughout the animal kingdom, of which humanity is a part. There are far more important focuses than a person's sexual orientation. Indeed the person Christians say they follow, Jesus of Nazareth said as much when he declared what would be the operative standard of Judgement for Christians in Matthew 25.

kiwimac
 
pattimax said:
There are no TRUE Christian fence sitters. Sorry to say it that way. I was involved in an inter-faith ministry for quite a while. It wasn't until I was baptized into the family of God and I started faithfully studying God's Word that my heart really recieved the truth. I will never look back.
You are DEFINITELY not alone in your thinking, but that doesn't mean much...

But not all issues are "essential" in the sense that they have the same answers every time. It often depends on the person and the situation at hand. It also has to do with the dynamics of personality, feelings, emotions and people involved, what one values and what one sees as important. Sometimes there's no single or best answer, but it's good to know what's important, what one values, the dynamics of the situation, the consequences, the implications, etc.

Is it wrong to drink alcohol? No. But if you drink too much, it will affect your behaviour.

Is it wrong to lie? As long as it doesn't hurt anyone. Some lies don't do any damage. It is only important to tell the truth when it's necessary and beneficial. One should avoid telling lies when they do damage in the long-term to relationships.

When does pride become arrogance? That one is a bit tricky. See if you can answer that one.:D

When is the desire to help others or change the world to make it a better place self-serving, self-indulgent or an ego trip? When is it truly selfless and altruistic? Another tough question.

Is it a sin to play violent or addictive computer games? But what if I can justify that by saying that I'm a grown man, a mature man who knows how playing computer games can become a bad habit and play responsibly? Isn't it common knowledge that addictive computer games is ok for responsible people, that it's only bad for people who aren't responsible gamers? Where do you draw the line? Who's mentally/emotionally qualified for the job? Same with exceeding the speed limit. The law is only for bad people, not for responsible people. Responsible people are allowed to exceed the speed limit. Reckless people are not. Plus there's nothing wrong with breaking the law as long as you don't get caught.:D

More tough questions. What's the meaning of life? What's the purpose of life? To discover oneself? To be successful? To be devoted to God? If one is to be devoted to God, does one follow rules or follow a more down-to-earth, absorb-the-meaning-of-everything attitude?

Who is more sincere, the rule-follower or the free-thinker with the down-to-earth, absorb-the-meaning-of-everything attitude?

There's a saying: one man's poison is another man's medicine. I think it applies here too. One kind of behaviour may be ok for some, but unhealthy for others. It's different for different people. Are fence-sitters really wrong and spiritually blind?:) Didn't God give us a mind to think and reason and not just follow rules? Are we not here to explore, contemplate, speculate, observe, examine and discover? Is there a model that fits all sizes? Are we just supposed to shoehorn that model into ours lives, even if we don't understand what it means?

Ok, I would agree that with parenting, you don't want your kids eloping and running away with some guy or girl if it will ruin their future. You would want them to trust you even if they didn't know any better.

But suppose several years down the track, you're a grown-up person, spear-heading your own career, taking risks, trying things out to see what's good and bad, and someone is "nice enough" to lecture you and give you advice on how to run your life. You have no idea what they mean. You have no experience of what's ahead. What do you do? Too much to take in all at once?

It's like in university, they teach you a lot of theory, but you have no practical experience of the field in which you will work when you graduate. How are you supposed to know any better? Not all of the advice you receive will make sense. There are a lot of protocols and procedures you have to follow, but you don't even know where it will all lead. Do you just follow it blindly? Make one false move and boom!!! There goes your career. So you have to think, take things one step at a time, observe what happens, get feedback, get experience and learn -- and then do things your way. Welcome to the real world . . .

We're not fence-sitters everywhere and all the time. Decisions have to be made. Sometimes we're on one side of the fence or the other. But not always on the same side. But sometimes you can't really be on either side, especially when it comes to life's big questions. Sometimes there is no straight answer. You just have to appreciate the possibilities but not get polarised either way. We are also evolving emotionally. We are changing emotionally. That's why making rules doesn't always make sense. The rules don't always benefit us emotionally. It might even do some emotional damage because we're forcing ourselves to follow the rules. This is one place where fence-sitting is the best thing to do. It's a way of avoiding emotional damage.
 
really, there is not much difference between men and women

I hate to burst your bubble Francis but there are some very significant differences innate between men and women. True there is a fair amount of overlap between some members of the opposite sex but by and large there are well pronounced physical, mental and behavioral differences that have a genetic basis.

For example females are generally much better at multi-tasking while males have better target directed motor skills.

As for the notion that two mommies are too many I have to disagree. If women are more nurturing (which may very well be the case in aggregate) there really is no such thing as being nutured too much. On the other hand two daddies might actually be a problem.
 
I hate to burst your bubble Francis but there are some very significant differences innate between men and women. True there is a fair amount of overlap between some members of the opposite sex but by and large there are well pronounced physical, mental and behavioral differences that have a genetic basis.

For example females are generally much better at multi-tasking while males have better target directed motor skills.

As for the notion that two mommies are too many I have to disagree. If women are more nurturing (which may very well be the case in aggregate) there really is no such thing as being nutured too much. On the other hand two daddies might actually be a problem.

Anything out of balance is out of balance. That is apparent in not only the emotional/psychological/spiritual world, but the physical world as well.
 
Regarding fence-sitting: As a Christian, it has been my experience that climbing up on the fence every now and then helps me to see both sides of an issue. And not just this one. My fence is supported by a foundation called Love. And in that Spirit I listen and watch. I like my fence sometimes.;)

InPeace,
InLove
 
This Christian focus on homosexuality is ludicrous. Homosexuality occurs throughout the animal kingdom, of which humanity is a part. There are far more important focuses than a person's sexual orientation. Indeed the person Christians say they follow, Jesus of Nazareth said as much when he declared what would be the operative standard of Judgement for Christians in Matthew 25.

kiwimac
god never came to save animals, he came to save man. to be born again, one must let god in, not just into the rooms you want, but all of them, even the dark closets that you locked. although we always fall short, christ says sin no more.. that is strive to be holy like the father is holy, and let the spirit guide you to what is right.
 
Regarding fence-sitting: As a Christian, it has been my experience that climbing up on the fence every now and then helps me to see both sides of an issue. And not just this one. My fence is supported by a foundation called Love. And in that Spirit I listen and watch. I like my fence sometimes.;)

InPeace,
InLove
Funny how one word can change the entire concept of an idea.
The term is "fence walking". It implies a precarious balance which if interrupted could result in one falling on one side or the other, or worse, slipping and landing on the fence pole "between the legs". :eek:

In any event the one now sitting on the fence most likely will fall one way or the other (in pain). ;)
 
This Christian focus on homosexuality is ludicrous. Homosexuality occurs throughout the animal kingdom, of which humanity is a part. There are far more important focuses than a person's sexual orientation. Indeed the person Christians say they follow, Jesus of Nazareth said as much when he declared what would be the operative standard of Judgement for Christians in Matthew 25.

kiwimac

Humanity is not part of the animal kingdom (not once God has touched the soul and spirit of man). Some really do focus on Homosexuality as a bad thing (in the laws of nature it is a dead end for the continuation of a species).

Indeed the Leaders of Sparta declared under law that each man HAD to lay with a woman in order to bear children to continue the existence of Sparta. They knew their existence depended upon the continuation of their people (they became desperate because Homosexuality was dominant), and more people were dying than being born.

On the otherhand, your declaration that Christian focus on homosexuality being ludicrous...is not your call. Your demanding that Christians ignore a "natural" occurance in this world is equally ludicrous Kiwi. Christians are in this world but not of it. You demand that they accept that they are of this world, the "natural world". That goes against all that is Christian, so you are mistaken to think that they should be, and not too enlightened to assume they would be.

And it is never wise to take Matthew 25 out of context, especially when those reading it have studied that for a long time.

v/r
Joshua
 
Quahom1 said:
In any event the one now sitting on the fence most likely will fall one way or the other (in pain). ;)

Yes, the fence is not usually cozy, and it can appear treacherous at times. One must be sure of one's footing. Thus, the support mechanism I mentioned. :)

InPeace,
InLove
 
When does pride become arrogance? That one is a bit tricky. See if you can answer that one.:D


Who is more sincere, the rule-follower or the free-thinker with the down-to-earth, absorb-the-meaning-of-everything attitude?

Are fence-sitters really wrong and spiritually blind?:) Didn't God give us a mind to think and reason and not just follow rules? Are we not here to explore, contemplate, speculate, observe, examine and discover? Is there a model that fits all sizes? Are we just supposed to shoehorn that model into ours lives, even if we don't understand what it means?
Welcome to the real world . . .

It's a way of avoiding emotional damage.

The difference between pride and arrogance are degrees. Pride is confident. Arrogance is usually clueless.

The truly sincere one is the free-thinker that has figured out why the rules are there and follows them with all of their heart, soul, and mind, while absorbing the meaning of everything.

Fence-sitters are NOT wrong for a while. God gave you a mind to reason and trust.We should have good reason for thinking Christianity is true before we dedicate our lives to it. If you are truly seeking, he trusts you will climb down from the fence and actually take a stand. There comes a time when asking questions will be tedious. While all of your questions may be valid, faith is your trust in what solid reasoning presents.

As for the REAL world and avoiding emotional damage, try praying to our Lord Jesus Christ. He has had quite a bit of real world experience.
 
Funny how one word can change the entire concept of an idea.
The term is "fence walking". It implies a precarious balance which if interrupted could result in one falling on one side or the other, or worse, slipping and landing on the fence pole "between the legs". :eek:

In any event the one now sitting on the fence most likely will fall one way or the other (in pain). ;)

I always thought that it implied straddling the divider. (issue) Yes, it can involve pain. A very good reason to get off the fence.:)
 
Thanks, Q. You said more or less what I would have said. I've been without phone and internet for a few days (the joys of winter mountain living!). Ah, but the white Christmas is worth it.:D

What do you think being a Christian is about? There is a line drawn by spiritual formation that presents discipleship to Jesus Christ as the greatest opportunity that individual human beings have in life to to solve spiritual problems. Spitritual fulfillment is not the result, it is an on going process. True fulfillment will not occur until the Second Coming.

Being a Christian is being a follower of Christ, and all that entails. Beyond that, I've said lots in various posts about many of my specific beliefs.

I totally agree with you on this statement, by the way. Spiritual fulfillment is a process, and one result of increasing spiritual fulfillment is the increasing of our fulfillment in this life. I do not mean fulfillment in terms of material success or anything of the sort, but rather true joy. When we are truly fulfilled in this life, we are joyful and at peace, no matter our physical circumstances, and this is a result of our spiritual growth.

Spiritual growth is our ultimate purpose in life.

How much of it is related to God's values, capacities, and worth?The answer is all.

Of course. I was asking a rhetorical question. I was pointing out that discussions about the worth of humanity is not antithetical to the Christian worldview. Humanism is not necessarily (though it can be) putting humanity first or above God, but rather a discussion about human worth, capacities, and values... and these are inextricably bound to the long search all cultures have had for God and that results in religion.

Our "job" as Christians is to grow in Christ so that we come to recognize our worth as God's children, rather than any form of self-centeredness.

There are no TRUE Christian fence sitters. Sorry to say it that way. I was involved in an inter-faith ministry for quite a while. It wasn't until I was baptized into the family of God and I started faithfully studying God's Word that my heart really recieved the truth. I will never look back.

I wouldn't say I sit the fence, unless (like InLove describes) you climb up there so you can better understand other people.

I'd say I sit on the fence all the time as a social scientist- it is necessary to do so to be any good at social science at all, since you're trying to understand other people's point of view as much as you can, as well as the social mechanisms at work.

I do not sit on the fence spiritually, but I do remain open-hearted to God's guidance and continually bring matters before Him in prayer. I do not claim doctrines that I haven't been led to by the Spirit, whether or not they are considered Orthodox. I am open about what I don't know, what I'm still pondering and praying about, and what is based on my own testimony of God's and Christ's work in me.

I make no claims about what is right for others to believe, what resonates (or should) with their experience of God, or anything of the sort. Like Q said, I pretty much stick to what I have come to experience or believe based on my own journey under the guidance of Christ and the Holy Spirit.

Some people think that makes me a heretic. Some think I should believe in certain doctrines anyway. Well, it is impossible for me to believe what I don't believe. The best I can do is say "God be with me in my studies. Christ protect me and guide me through the Spirit" and then be honest where that journey has lead to so far. Otherwise I would be lying.

You are DEFINITELY not alone in your thinking, but that doesn't mean much...

I was trying to say that even among "fundamental" denominations, people who are scientists and understand the true boundaries of science and humanism do not typically think science or humanism is antithetical to spirituality, God, and religion (even Orthodox religion).

Could you tell me more about this converation with a department chair at a Baptist university? What department?

What do you want to know?

Behavioral science. I'm an anthropologist and it was the department that encompassed anthropology, sociology, and psychology. They train missionaries, social workers, Christian counselors and the like.

You do NOT mean "Christian Science", right?

No. I mean it like I would say "Christian secretaries" or "Christian truck drivers."

To be honest, I don't even know anything about Christian Science.
 
What do you want to know?

Behavioral science. I'm an anthropologist and it was the department that encompassed anthropology, sociology, and psychology. They train missionaries, social workers, Christian counselors and the like.

You have said quite a bit.

I'm curious what a department head at a (private/non-secular) University had to say about this issue. Now that you tell me this, I'm really curious.

I hope you still had electricity.
 
er
You have said quite a bit.

I'm curious what a department head at a (private/non-secular) University had to say about this issue. Now that you tell me this, I'm really curious.

I hope you still had electricity.

Thankfully, we did! :D (Though there isn't anything quite like living by candlelight for a little bit, with no TV or stereo or anything but the surrounding woods.)

We were discussing the interface of science and religion, and how it is unfortunate that in the mainstream public Christian view as well as certain religiously ignorant scientific circles, people of both sides see them as polar opposites. I've been in churches where all scientists and academics were literally condemned from the pulpit in a sermon to justify ignorance and a lack of learning or study. Likewise, I've been in meetings among colleagues in which I have been told that all Christians (yeah, me included) are "stupid" and "irrational."

What the pastor/department chair and I were discussing is that both of these views are profoundly ignorant. (I don't mean that disrespectfully, but rather literally- they just don't know much about the other side.) There are many scientists that have religious beliefs, including Christian, and I believe it is incredibly arrogant for the remaining scientists to assume that most of the world (as most people do have some form of religion) are somehow unintelligent people who are just needing the "information" to come from on high (i.e., from higher education and science). Yet likewise, I find it profoundly unjust and prejudiced to condemn science in general, when it is merely a way to try to understand how the world works. Just because someone is a scientist and is objective for understanding others and the "natural' world does not mean that they do not spiritually and religiously seek understanding as well.

Even the most atheistic scientist, if s/he is a good one, will admit that science only answers questions that are objective: things like how, when, what. Science cannot answer why, or speak to spiritual issues, as the spiritual world is not the same as the physical one. Much of our modern conveniences such as modern medicine, electricity, and so forth is due to science. But knowing how the heart works and being able to fix it, and pondering why we were created in that form to begin with, are two different issues.

Religion and spirituality go after the big "unanswerables"- the stuff science cannot effectively touch. Why are we here? Where do we and other living things go after death? Is there a God? What is He like?

Now, what is truly interesting is where science can meet religion. These are the questions like: what is the nature of the universe? The nature of humanity? Why do people everywhere, since the time of the Neanderthals, show evidence of thinking about an afterlife and spiritual issues? How does the mind work?

We discussed that the public debate and media really misses both the complexity of the science/religion issue and the potential for the two to be reconciled (as they so often are for scientists that are Christians, Muslim, or any other faith). Why are so many physicists coming to believe there is a God? Why are so many anthropologists clinging to the idea there isn't? What do we all stand to gain or lose by being firmly between the two falsely-divided methods of inquiry? So often, it's being called a heretic on one side and an idiot on the other...

The reality is that so many issues are best tackled by a union of science and religion. Indeed, for most of humanity history (and in almost all cultures except "Western"- European, North American) there was no distinction. People did not think reason and rationality were outside of spirituality, but rather one more faculty within it. Pondering humanity and pondering God were part of the same process. And this is perhaps the best way, especially when you consider the social sciences in a practical (rather than theoretical manner). I think it is no coincidence that religious treatments for things like alcoholism and mental illness are frequently more successful than secular psychotherapy, and if we think of what society could look like if we truly followed the example of Christ... ! No poverty, no homelessness, no one without health care... so many social ills at least on their way to being resolved.

What he and I agreed on is that the real tragedy is the lack of usefulness of such a divide. Science without religion is often heartless and cowardly. I may get flack from other scientists saying that. But without a focus on God, you are focused on self. And when you're focused on self, you worry about your standing in your discipline, your job, your retirement, etc. and therefore your actions are hampered. You may see opportunities to help others and fail to act because you are afraid of the consequences. You may see real social ills in various cultures (sexual molestation, or wife beating, or extreme and consistent violence) and be afraid to say it is wrong, because it will threaten your veneer of "non-bias" (which is hooey anway- we all have bias). But... too frequently, religious effort without science is ineffective. Religion, even Christianity, cannot on its own answer how to cure the sick, how to make sure there is enough food for all and it is better distributed, or even how spread the Good News (which requires the linguists to translate!).

God gave us reason and the capacity to study people so we might better understand the how behind spreading the Gospel and Christ's love. He gave us religion and spirituality so we might better understand the why to do it in the first place.

And that about sums up the conversation... sorry- I know I said quite a bit more, but couldn't really condense it much more (it was a 2+ hour long conversation). :)
 
...Some people think that makes me a heretic. Some think I should believe in certain doctrines anyway. Well, it is impossible for me to believe what I don't believe. The best I can do is say "God be with me in my studies. Christ protect me and guide me through the Spirit" and then be honest where that journey has lead to so far. Otherwise I would be lying...

"Lord I believe, please bless my dis-belief." It's a prayer my dad says every morning.

Considering you are both born in the same month, I'm not surprised you think alike...:)
 
pattimax said:
The truly sincere one is the free-thinker that has figured out why the rules are there and follows them with all of their heart, soul, and mind, while absorbing the meaning of everything.

Rules can be detrimental as well as constructive . . .:D

In some denominations, ministers are required to be celibate, since looking after a church can be stressful, and having a wife can make things a little more painful . . . But some of these ministers can't get over the fact that they can't get married and have sexual relations with a woman. They spend ten years in ministry and suddenly decide that they need a woman.:eek:

This is where the damage is done -- for some of them the need for sexual contact is so great that they have to grab some little, vulnerable kid whom they can trust to keep a secret and empty their passion on them. If they can't experience the pleasure of sleeping with a woman, at least they can do it on some kid.

The ban on marriage for ministers in these denominations is what causes so many child-sex scandals because they can't have healthy sexual relations.

When the rules are strict, it can really do damage . . . Yes, we know why they are there, but sometimes they can create problems, even though they were created to eliminate problems.

pattimax said:
Fence-sitters are NOT wrong for a while. God gave you a mind to reason and trust. We should have good reason for thinking Christianity is true before we dedicate our lives to it. If you are truly seeking, he trusts you will climb down from the fence and actually take a stand. There comes a time when asking questions will be tedious. While all of your questions may be valid, faith is your trust in what solid reasoning presents.

We can't always be on the same side of the fence when the issue comes up. Sometimes the situation requires a different response each time. You're a fence-sitter before the problem comes up, but after the problem has been solved you're on one side of the fence. But it's just that you're not always on the same side at the end when the problem is solved.

You're fence-sitter before you make the decision but you're on one side after the decision has been made.
 
Rules can be detrimental as well as constructive . . .:D

In some denominations, ministers are required to be celibate, since looking after a church can be stressful, and having a wife can make things a little more painful . . . But some of these ministers can't get over the fact that they can't get married and have sexual relations with a woman. They spend ten years in ministry and suddenly decide that they need a woman.:eek:

This is where the damage is done -- for some of them the need for sexual contact is so great that they have to grab some little, vulnerable kid whom they can trust to keep a secret and empty their passion on them. If they can't experience the pleasure of sleeping with a woman, at least they can do it on some kid.

The ban on marriage for ministers in these denominations is what causes so many child-sex scandals because they can't have healthy sexual relations.

When the rules are strict, it can really do damage . . . Yes, we know why they are there, but sometimes they can create problems, even though they were created to eliminate problems.



We can't always be on the same side of the fence when the issue comes up. Sometimes the situation requires a different response each time. You're a fence-sitter before the problem comes up, but after the problem has been solved you're on one side of the fence. But it's just that you're not always on the same side at the end when the problem is solved.

You're fence-sitter before you make the decision but you're on one side after the decision has been made.

where the hell did that come from? Were you a priest once?

Before a problem comes up, one is no where near a fence and has no reason to be.

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!
 
Quahom1 said:
where the hell did that come from? Were you a priest once?

Before a problem comes up, one is no where near a fence and has no reason to be.

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!

No, I have never been anywhere near being a priest. Just saying.:)

Child-abusing priests are not evil monsters who think they're all high and mighty because they're in the church and want to scare off little children (like the bogey-man). They're people with personal problems who need help. They got too close to a fence and fell onto the wrong side.

It would be nice if we could help them by removing the fences so that life is easier for those poor clergy. They get all the blame but they're really victims of the system. The church shouldn't set up so many fences so people can slip and trip over and get hurt. Priests aren't always "oppressors" as the media might have it. Sometimes they're the victims.

Quahom1 said:
Funny how one word can change the entire concept of an idea.
The term is "fence walking". It implies a precarious balance which if interrupted could result in one falling on one side or the other, or worse, slipping and landing on the fence pole "between the legs". :eek:

In any event the one now sitting on the fence most likely will fall one way or the other (in pain). ;)

You're not talking about the royally excruciating pain of losing one's crown jewels are you?:eek:
 
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