Deb and Mark

lunamoth

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The 'resurrection' of an old thread with posts by both Deb (InLove) and Mark (Prober) have brought a lump to my throat as I think about these two dear friends.

To both of you, just wanted to say how much I appreciated your uplifting and hope-filled words, and your online friendships.

To Randy and Chris, my love to both of you too.

Words fail me.

Blessings,
Laurie
 
The 'resurrection' of an old thread with posts by both Deb (InLove) and Mark (Prober) have brought a lump to my throat as I think about these two dear friends.

To both of you, just wanted to say how much I appreciated your uplifting and hope-filled words, and your online friendships.

To Randy and Chris, my love to both of you too.

Words fail me.

Blessings,
Laurie
I hear you and agree. What a blessing that they had family members here, so we would know, so we could share. Two in such a short time indicates to me that others may have left.

I take a moment, and raise a thought, drink in blessings and memories, for those posters, participants, contemplaters and friends of C-R that we know have made their transition, for those that we are not aware of.
 
I also am touched each time I see Deb's and Mark's old posts. And I do suspect, given our numbers, that they are not the only ones to have gone on to the next place, but that we were fortunate that they had loved ones here to share with us the news of their passing.

Love to them all...
 
Thank you for the remembrance. I had thought that by this point in the grieving process I would be getting some relief, but the pain is still beyond my ability to contain. Every day I ask "how the F*** could you have just died like that?" I can't get my mind around it. I'm afraid that if I don't snap out of it soon my wife is going to lose her patience with me. I try my best to keep it to myself. I go and have my little cry and then try to get on with my responsibilities. I feel hollow and invisible.

Chris
 
Chris-

My thoughts are with you- I sent as much love as I could muster your way. I have lost loved ones and grieved, but I can't imagine being in your place as I haven't lost a sibling yet. Words fail me, but know that I care deeply and you are in my prayers (if you don't mind).

Love and Peace to you,
Kim
 
Thanks Kim.

I've taken a lot of hard knocks in my life. I know how to suck it up and keep going. What's hard is that there are now people, my wife and my kids, who depend on me to be the strong father and husband. I have to be this person for them. In a way it keeps me going, but it's emotionally draining to keep up that appearance. I am often withdrawn and almost catatonic, just kind of rocking and staring off into space for long periods of time. This is very disturbing to my wife. She understands, but she really needs me to come back and be the person I was, and right now I just can't.

Chris
 
Chris, I can understand the real difficulty of being what is needed from you when you're utterly exhausted and feeling kind of lost. I've been there a few times, but without children, and I can imagine it is a million times harder when you know you're responsible for other little lives while still struggling through your own pain. Though I'm not 30 yet, I've experienced some pretty big and bad shocks, and I can relate to what you say about the feeling of withdrawal. When I have felt the way you describe (even to the rocking and staring, which I have also done), it tends to be because I am in a combination of depression and shock.

I wish I could say when it will get easier for you, to say that the pain will just evaporate. I can only say that for me, over time, the pain lessened, the shock lessened. I had to face, over and over, the things that caused this until it became real enough for me to process it. In time, I only faced days here and there, not too often, that I was exhausted by it all. All I could do was pray-- for strength, for peace, for making through another day.

Joy comes again... the sun always rises. It is just sometimes a long dark night before we see the dawn.

If you were here, I'd give you some dinner and a big hug (yep, despite having never met you!). But since you're not, I can only send virtual hugs your way and share a few tears with you.

Love and Peace,
Kim
 
I never know quite what to say, but I want Randy and Chris to know that Deb and Mark are very much missed. I think about both of them often.
 
I, too, can relate (I sometimes find catharsis in doing a Sandy Koufax impersonation Unknown Player Baseball Stats by Baseball Almanac or baking.) The only thing that really helps is time and talk (talk with a professional if you get stuck too long in one aspect of the grieving process to the point of being a danger to oneself or to others.)

Oh, yes, time spent with :kitty:s helps a lot, too on occasion (or dogs, ferrets, etc.)

If you want to talk off-board, just let me know, okay?

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
Hi.
I hope everyone is doing well. I do skulk around here quite a bit and thought I'd add a post every once in awhile.
 
It seems to me that though Mark and Debs are no longer able to post here they are not gone from here. This is a 3 fold phenomena that shows just how powerful and important that beautiful and difficult thing love is.

We all come across posts by both Debs and Mark, fairly often it seems and we are all reminded of their unique and inspirational contribution not just to the threads and CR, but to us as real living people.

Secondly this illustrates that this medium, more than any before, allows those that have gone to live on. Their words are as fresh and relevant today as the day they were posted.

And last, and perhaps most poignantly, they live on in the words and style of both Chris and Jack. They who have absorbed most of all that Debs and Mark loved to give and still radiate some essence of this. It's truly beautiful.


Chris and Jack,

I realise both of you must struggle so hard at times to deal with the hurt such losses bring. I can only say that I am grateful for you being here through it. Each of you is so very different but bring your selves here in ways that touch and inspire me as much as your departed loved ones did. And as I said above, their is something of them in your presence here too that is so warm to feel. The changes each of you experienced recently and share with us make us stronger people too. Thank you both.

Tao
 
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