A comfort with death

StevePame said:
I still struggle with it. I'm fortunate in that I didn't lose many people close to me until I was older, but that left me more aware of their absence. I've wondered if losing a love one early is easier, because you have longer to process it, or because in your most formative years you build walls to contain the grief.
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I think something like that was the case with me. I lost two grandfathers and a grandmother in me teens. That together with an emotional distance with my father left me very prepared for his death. More prepared than I would have thought.
But it's hard to tell, I'm only 35, emotional wounds might flare up from nowhere at some point. Humanity is a tricky thing!
 
Few weeks ago got mom to go down and see her older sister, (mom 87, aunt 91) her sister basically given up(I am 91, I'm not going down to dunner anymore, they can bring it to me. The only reason to get out of this chair is to goto the bathroom)

Last week we went to her funeral...it appeared to me that many are more comfortable with death. With folks making transitions from this to ??. Most were god fearing folk, 'she's in a better place', 'with the relatives', etc. But having watched these things for half a century, it definitely seemed to me that most accepted death as part of life...of course her years could have played a role in that.
 
I'm 65. Yesterday I helped a 93yr old woman carry two (small) tables to her car. She was carrying them alone, along with a bag of groceries, but she accepted my help. She is active and walking without a stick. Still driving capably.

I do know I never want to get so old I'm unable to use my legs, or become incontinent and can't get myself to the toilet. I pray God will save me from that, unless God needs me your go through that, for the sake of my soul
 
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wil said:
But having watched these things for half a century, it definitely seemed to me that most accepted death as part of life...of course her years could have played a role in that.
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While I’m certainly not looking forward to it, or seeking it out, I’m more comfortable with the thought of my own death than those of people I care for. I don’t know why.

RJM Corbet said:
I do know I never want to get so old I'm unable to use my legs, or become incontinent and can't get myself to the toilet. I pray God will save me from that, unless God needs me your go through that, for the sake of my soul
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I don’t want that situation either. I feel since I’m still younger (30s), and don’t have that many health concerns, I don’t look at my own death as a possible release from suffering. Were I in my 90s, or 60s-80s and miserable from health issues, I may be even more comfortable with my own death than I already am.
 
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If I had had my druthers and had not been a procrastinator I would be dead today. And while with numerous car accidents, and my hitching around the country and getting myself in various precarious situations...I'm not talking about escaping death then, but my most recent fiasco. I have talked for years about filling out a DNR and instructions not to carry out extraordinary life saving measures... But since I never did, I was returned to this existence twice this past year. With the TIAs, angina, docs since, death has made immanence known. And left me confused as to how I want end of life procedures addressed.
 
As long as there is no life after death, for which there is no verifiable evidence, I am more than content to cease to be once I die.
 
I faced my mortality when I was ~36. I was in the room when my mother passed away at the tender age of ~72 (cancer's a mutt iykwim), and my birthday is just three days before mom's.

I hate to say this, but I'm a tad afraid of death, fearing that I disappointed loved ones during my life. :(

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
I see only two possibilities: either I am a product of nature, nature is ammoral (amoral equals evil to me) and hence everything that I am and that is alive is evil. If I do not feel this evilness I am a kind of drug addict living in an illusion created by some opportunistic chemicals in my brain (just world bias). In this case it is a blessing if my existence ceases as I will as well not be forced to see anymore this sensless injustice and suffering that that comes without salvation or fuel myself, in which case I have no true personality that is worth saving.

If there in contrast is a salvation I am very optimistic that I will be saved too.

From practical experience I know that I do not fear death anymore and this could be the logical reasons causing it :)
 
Arif Ghamiq said:
A Hadith of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)

“The gift to a Believer is Death.”

(At-Tirmidhi)
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Just went up for the funeral of my uncle.

End of an Era in a number of ways. My dad was one of 5 brothers...Ray was the last to pass. The five boys have left behind two wives and a herd of kids, grandkids and greats. He was 93. His mom and dad were from families of farmers...all the boys worked farms when they were younger but Ray was the only one that stayed.a farmer

Non of my cousins are farmers (lots of gardeners, but no farmers) it was wonderful to see all the family that was able to show. It was a joyous celebration despite the reason for gathering.

I have an understanding that death is a part of the cycle of life, and as my body deteriorates, and watching others slow to a crawl as death approaches... I understand how death is a blessing to some. I also understand that I believe different than many....I see how my beliefs and understandings support me...and how others beliefs support them.
 
wil said:
If I had had my druthers and had not been a procrastinator I would be dead today. And while with numerous car accidents, and my hitching around the country and getting myself in various precarious situations...I'm not talking about escaping death then, but my most recent fiasco. I have talked for years about filling out a DNR and instructions not to carry out extraordinary life saving measures... But since I never did, I was returned to this existence twice this past year. With the TIAs, angina, docs since, death has made immanence known. And left me confused as to how I want end of life procedures addressed.
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Well, I understand, or I think I do, but I'm glad you are still here, if only selfishly as it allowed us to cross paths in this lifetime.
 
wil said:
Just went up for the funeral of my uncle.

End of an Era in a number of ways. My dad was one of 5 brothers...Ray was the last to pass. The five boys have left behind two wives and a herd of kids, grandkids and greats. He was 93. His mom and dad were from families of farmers...all the boys worked farms when they were younger but Ray was the only one that stayed.a farmer

Non of my cousins are farmers (lots of gardeners, but no farmers) it was wonderful to see all the family that was able to show. It was a joyous celebration despite the reason for gathering.

I have an understanding that death is a part of the cycle of life, and as my body deteriorates, and watching others slow to a crawl as death approaches... I understand how death is a blessing to some. I also understand that I believe different than many....I see how my beliefs and understandings support me...and how others beliefs support them.
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I am sorry for your loss.
And grateful for your reflections.
 
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