Anger

Discussion in 'Buddhism' started by Vajradhara, May 28, 2008.

  1. Francis king

    Francis king New Member

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    if it makes you salivate as a prospect Snoopy, then yes..
     
  2. Snoopy

    Snoopy Active Member

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    Not at all; I just have trouble understanding you.

    s.
     
  3. Francis king

    Francis king New Member

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    the dharma, like everything else in life, does not benefit from being so righteously applied. At the end of the day, we are only human beings, even if we are told we should tie ourselves up in knots aspiring to be something we're not...

    if I get angry in a queue in a supermarket and decide to punch your head in, because you look at me funny, or because you push in front of me, I could do with taking some pills and going to lie down in a darkened room. If I am angry because you have murdered my son and my heart is broken, then anger might be what keeps me going, stops me taking my own life. If I avenge the death, and take up arms myself, nobody could blame me, yet it solves nothing... The anger might fade a little, if I channel it into something useful, I create a fund for children, or I start a campaign to keep guns off the streets instead...

    Anger is a poison, something which will eat away at you, but anger is also something that is natural, and realistic, and happens...

    ppl get angry because their ego is bruised, sure, and often times the advice to rid yourself of it is a good one... however, a person who sees what happens in the world today and does not get angry? That person I feel great pity for, and am suspicious of, on many levels...
     
  4. Snoopy

    Snoopy Active Member

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  5. seattlegal

    seattlegal Why do cows say mu?

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    Hmm, it's unlikely that a live fish would be available in a supermarket queue, but if one was available, and I decided to hit someone over the head with it, it wouldn't be out of anger...
     
  6. Snoopy

    Snoopy Active Member

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    That's not the same and you know it. ;)

    Try another button.

    s.
     
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  7. Francis king

    Francis king New Member

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    I don't get u, snoopy... you started off trying to be my pal, then didnt get the response u wanted, now ur following me round trying to provoke me into, what exactly?

    How does Buddhism fit in with game-playing exactly?

    Interesting though that you should choose to present yourself in this way...

    No doubt you will come up with a fantastically dharma friendly reason as to why ur behaving like a small child...

    maybe you can even quote me the relevant sutra- you know, the one that reads... "an enlightened being can act like a fool, so long as they know what sutra it is written in"

    you said Snoopy... "...I just never would have expected that a person who might punch my head in at a supermarket queue could also declare an interest in / belief in / practice the dharma", and then refer me to a post in the other thread where I speak about God...

    I do not know how I am supposed to take this, really... should I imply from this you don't think I'm a real buddhist after all... ha ha ha...

    I don't think you're a real buddhist either- so there! nah nah nah nah nahhh...
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2008
  8. Dondi

    Dondi Active Member

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    Maybe Snoopy's a budds**t instead?

    (Sorry, I just saw this in the juxapostion of letters in the word 'buddhist. Just a stupid joke, I mean no offense.)

    Anger....can be beneficial. Seems to me that it can replace fear in a show of courage, like when a mother fends off an attacker who is threatening her kids.

    If you lost a child to senseless violence, wouldn't you get angry? It is an initial reaction to a circumstance, an emotion like any other emotion. It is neither good nor bad, it just is.

    However, it is what we do with that anger that is significant. For anger can turn into something else: hatred, bitterness, despair, which threatens to destroy the souls. We need to be careful how we channel that anger. Has anyone seen the movie "The Firestarter" (based on the Stephen King novel)? When Charlie (played by drew Barrymore) strikes out with her pyrotechnic "gift", she has to contain all that energy into a bucket of water lest she destroy everything in site. Well, we need to find our own bucket of water to quench the flame of anger. Turn the anger into something else, control the anger.

    My anger is usually turn toward God. Not to mean that I'm angry at God, necessarily. But I channel my anger to Someone who I believe is listening. (Many times, we just want someone to listen to our rant). If you don't believe in God, talk to the Wind. Usually, when my inoitial rant fades, I try to reason with my anger.

    The first thing I ask is 'why am I angry?' Is whatever I'm angry about worth getting angry? Is it as big a deal as I thought? Do I need to endanger my health by getting angry? Is it just a misunderstanding? Or maybe I am in the wrong (heaven forbid) in this? Do I have the fortitude to forgive the person? Or if I don't, have the grace to ask for the ability to forgive from Something bigger than me? (I believe forgiveness is rather important, for if one harbors bitterness, it becomes unhealthy and destructive)

    OK, not much in the way of Buddhism, but I have to agree with Francis that not all anger is bad. Else, as a Christian, I'll have to believe that Jesus' anger in the temple was a bad thing. But I believe he had a righteous reason for being angry.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 8, 2008
  9. LeoSalinas22

    LeoSalinas22 merely a shadow...

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    anger can also be used to discipline ones children. even to correct your signicant other. i know my wife has done that many times out of anger and you know what? she was right (i hate it when she's right). anger can teach you many things, if you direct it to accomplish good things.
     
  10. Dondi

    Dondi Active Member

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    While anger may be an initial reaction of displeasure to what a child might have done, it is never good to discipline one in anger. The anger should only be used to voice your disappointment, but discipline ought to be carried out methodically, preferrably after cooling off. If I get so angry with my children, I'd send them to their room first before taking further action. Gives me time to cool off a bit and make rational decisions.
     
  11. LeoSalinas22

    LeoSalinas22 merely a shadow...

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    i take it you don't hit your kids, dondi?
     
  12. LeoSalinas22

    LeoSalinas22 merely a shadow...

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    sorry, dondi. i guess i got a little personal there. my bad.
     
  13. Dondi

    Dondi Active Member

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    When they were smaller, I'd spank them when need be, but only on the bottom. They are old enough now where I can 'reason' with them through other means.
     
  14. LeoSalinas22

    LeoSalinas22 merely a shadow...

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    that's cool, man. just curious and found the need to ask. personally i think that small children aren't hit (*ahem* disciplined) enough now a days. but that's my personal opinion. my oldest is 9. how old is your oldest if you don't mind my asking?
     
  15. Netti-Netti

    Netti-Netti New Member

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    The most angry and unhappy people on the planet are unable to see the world for what it is. That is, they see things in light of their own desires, which in effect means they see things in light of their personal disappointments, assumptions of narcissistic entitlement, and irrational sense of having been cheated or deprived.

    As I've stated elsewhere, dukkha is not entirely a property inherent in the nature of things. It is also a quality of experience that reflects a dysfunctional relationship to the world. Specifically, it is a quality of experience that stems from notions of being able to control or possess certain objects of choice that presumably have potential to pacify cravings.

    The self-centered approach leads to a pervasive and deep-seated sense of frustration, anger, and self-pity, which in turn leads to a desire to take what is not given. And this in turn only leads to more problems (violation of others' rights, guilt, shame, self-justification, denial, secrecy, etc.).

    People who are living out of an egoistic bias are in effect continuously adding to their own private dukkha, interpersonal dukkha, and the overall burden of the world by their faulty understanding of self-interest. It is easy to see how the lack of faith, distrust, cynicism and sense of hopelessness would seem justified. Every action taken out of an egoistic bias will virtually guarantee such unwholesome states if for no other reason that negative thinking and false hopes color the emotions and give impetus to the heavy-handed approach that invariably tend to repel or destroy the sought-after things or derange the person's relation to these things to the point where the individual is hardly able to actually enjoy or otherwise benefit from them.


    From Chapter 1 of Santideva's Bodhicaryavatara:
    "Those desiring to escape from suffering hasten right toward suffering. With the very desire for happiness, out of delusion they destroy their own happiness as if it were an enemy."
    Arguable, the quest for happiness scan set you up for frustration, anger, and self-pity.
     
  16. Netti-Netti

    Netti-Netti New Member

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    Anger can be seen as a heavy-handed re-assertion of personal control in the face of frustration and/or a possible loss of egoic resources. It may be one symptom among others indicating a lapse in the ability to receive the Blessings that are all around. As a result, the individual resorts to a grasping, egoistic approach.

    Exactly.
     
  17. seattlegal

    seattlegal Why do cows say mu?

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    I agree that anger can blind you to what is really going on.
    Anger is a stronger emotion than pride or desire. Once you understand this, you can use it as a means to quiet the other emotions in order to see the situation clearly, without having to resort to the 'heavy handed approach' of blinding rage. {It sounds like a good explanation for my observations from this previous post:} :)

     
  18. Dondi

    Dondi Active Member

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    I have a 10 year old and 15 year old.
     
  19. LeoSalinas22

    LeoSalinas22 merely a shadow...

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    that's awesome, dondi. thanks for sharing that. two boys. 9 and 3. and i have a third one on the way. a boy too. i can't imagine my life without them. i guess the anger issue i might have inherited from my pops. hard to let go. i don't deserve my kids. uuuugh, now i am rambling. thanks again for sharing dondi.
     
  20. Netti-Netti

    Netti-Netti New Member

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    The intensity of anger - like blind rage - does not obscure the less strong emotions?

    Also, how does quieting the other emotions help quiet the anger?
     

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