Anger

citizenzen said:
And guns can, at times, be very good things too.

It just turns out that the vast majority of time they're wielded destructively.

I'd say, it's only the wisest of people who can channel anger effectively. In the hands of the rest of us it's a dangerous drug.
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Not true at all. If it were so, then there would be millions dead on American streets.
 
Quahom1 said:
Not true at all. If it were so, then there would be millions dead on American streets.
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You're right Q1. According to the U.S. Department of Justice:
In 2005, 11,346 persons were killed by firearm violence and 477,040 persons were victims of a crime committed with a firearm. Most murders in the United States are committed with firearms, especially handguns.​

So it's not "millions dead", it's just a half-million dead, injured or assaulted. What the heck am I complaining about anyway?
 
I'm weird when I get angry... There's one person, only one, that I get angry like a normal person around... I yell, and junk. Like how everyone else gets angry.

Then other people I know, and love, when I get angry at them, I cry. And that pisses me off more, lol. But I can't do anything about it cuz I'm cryin like a little baby.

Then, anyone else, I can't get angry, like normal angry. I get all shaky, and can't even yell, and the angrier I get the worse it gets. It's kinda like wearing one of those zappy dog collars. It sux.

But the one person I get normal angry with, I tend to get angry at them initially, like as a person, and realize in the midst of my anger that I'm really angry at the things that they do... this always happens just shy of the point where I wanna strangle them... which is good...

Ah, but I'm an odd duck... can't even get angry like a normal person.

Anywho, I find it's easiest just to get some space between me and whoever makes me angry, just get some breathing room until I'm sure I've cooled down enough to face the person and discuss things calmly, to try to sort out the problems I'm having.

I realize this won't work in every situation, but, I've kinda only got one situation to work from, ya know? Lol.
 
Vajradhara said:
please save political discussions for that forum.
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Politics is largely about anger and much of the content is in fact a kind of stylized expression of that emotion that helps polarize issues and generate hope by invoking the possibilities for a vindictive triumph over the opposing party.
 
Anger is a stronger emotion than pride or desire. Once you understand this, you can use it as a means to quiet the other emotions in order to see the situation clearly, without having to resort to the 'heavy handed approach' of blinding rage. {It sounds like a good explanation for my observations from this previous post:
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So anger is like Dorothy's little red shoes. Just tap your heels together and you're home.

There have been several places where I've noted that Buddhist texts often use the term emotion and thought as though they are interchangeable. As it turns out, this is a recognized controversy. In one article, the authors went into some detail as to why they ended up going with one or the other term when translating from the Pali scriptures.
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In my experience, the emotions are able to have personality of their own. They are not conscious and not in charge; however they are traveling companions or marriage partners to conscious thought. Sometimes emotions do not understand a situation as soon you understand it consciously. For example: you are insulted yet you don't feel hurt until the next day. Sometimes they understand early -- you find something hillarious and you don't figure out why until later. They can also disagree, and they can be wrong. They can be overbearing and overprotective, as when a person is controlled by one emotion or another. The main thing is they have their own 'Thought process' of their own.
 
Oops forgot to supply quotes. The first quote is Seattlegal and the second is Netti Netti.
 
I''ve always been a rather calm, easy-going person. I used to be quite sensitive (still am to a certain extent) and when something would anger or upset me I would hold on to it for a while. Now though, I've become more aware that the feelings themselves (of saddness, irritation, anger, etc) are less substantial than I used to think, it's alot easier to let them go. Of course they arise, everyone gets mad at certain things like insults and such, it's just that I don't grasp or hold on that much anymore. I've really noticed this helping some over time that has past.
 
Vajradhara said:
Namaste all,

i'll offer my own views on this in a few posts though i'd like to hear others views before then.

primarily i'm interested in hearing how you deal with anger when it arises, the methods, steps, techniques and so forth which you use to cool the flames.

it doesn't have to be particularly Buddhist ;)

metta,

~v
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Namaste V,

I repeat mantra internally and the depression or anger seem to cool/melt into the sound. It never makes the emotions go away, I just then experience moments where I am not so attached or involved in the feelings.
 
Namaste all,

perhaps it's odd to come back to this now... however it's been relevant in my own life once more. perhaps it should have been more clear to me that there can be underlying reasons for anger which can be difficult to uncover under normal circumstances. trauma and the way it manifests in the human mind is both fascinating and humbling. i've been dealing with a CPTSD issue for most of my life and it wasn't until late in 2010 that i was finally able to get help in a substantial and meaningful manner.

if any of you are dealing with anger issues now, please be gentle with yourselves.

metta,

~v
 
Vajradhara said:
Namaste all,

perhaps it's odd to come back to this now... however it's been relevant in my own life once more. perhaps it should have been more clear to me that there can be underlying reasons for anger which can be difficult to uncover under normal circumstances. trauma and the way it manifests in the human mind is both fascinating and humbling. i've been dealing with a CPTSD issue for most of my life and it wasn't until late in 2010 that i was finally able to get help in a substantial and meaningful manner.

if any of you are dealing with anger issues now, please be gentle with yourselves.

metta,

~v
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CPTSD please translate ...?
 
Thank you. I get insanely angry with the noise of my upstairs neighbours TV. I ring his flat a and ask him to turn a it down, so he turns it down for a while then turns it up again. And although i don't show it on the outside, I'm wanting to go up there with a machine gun and blow him away. Its so unfair my peace should be disturbed by the fact his floor-standing TV is far too big for the block of flats. But not much else really makes me mad, these days. I more often get embarrassed, or sad ...
 
RJM Corbet said:
Thank you. I get insanely angry with the noise of my upstairs neighbours TV. I ring his flat a and ask him to turn a it down, so he turns it down for a while then turns it up again.
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Now that brings back memories. Living in a box in someone else's building. When my wife and I first got married we lived through a similar situation. Although, TV's weren't as massive as they are today. My solution was to get one of those powerful universal remotes. I use to lean out the window and switch off the neighbors TV when it got too loud. Great fun until he moved and the new tenant started blasting a non-remote stereo! Final solution.... we moved!:D
 
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Namaste Jesus said:
Now that brings back memories. Living in a box in someone else's building. When my wife and I first got married we lived through a similar situation. Although, TV's weren't as massive as they are today. My solution was to get one of those powerful universal remotes. I use to lean out the window and switch off the neighbors TV when it got too loud. Great fun until he moved and the new tenant started blasting a non-remote stereo! Final solution.... we moved!:D
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Now THERE'S a plan! :)
 
An alternative "plan":

One is not really able to run away of his/her kamma (past own actions by mind, speech, body) and that is way the Buddha when asked of what should killed (to have welbeing) answered that there is only one thing that makes sense to kill: ones anger (Ghatva Sutta: Having Killed)

What ever else one do is wate of time and to destroy the reason for anger outwardly will just bring seeds for new ripping of what one has given before: again anger.

What ever one gives, one receivces, immediately, soon or later... yet the reason now forgotten, not seen.

So do neither nurish your self nor others to take on other actions aside of killing the own anger in one self.

Some practical support:

http://zugangzureinsicht.org/html/lib/authors/nyanaponika/wheel026_en.html#ill said:
Six things are helpful in conquering ill-will:

  1. Learning how to meditate on loving-kindness;
  2. Devoting oneself to the meditation of loving-kindness;
  3. Considering that one is the owner and heir of one's actions (kamma);
  4. Frequent reflection on it (in the following way):
    Thus one should consider: "Being angry with another person, what can you do to him? Can you destroy his virtue and his other good qualities? Have you not come to your present state by your own actions, and will also go hence according to your own actions? Anger towards another is just as if someone wishing to hit another person takes hold of glowing coals, or a heated iron-rod, or of excrement. And, in the same way, if the other person is angry with you, what can he do to you? Can he destroy your virtue and your other good qualities? He too has come to his present state by his own actions and will go hence according to his own actions. Like an unaccepted gift or like a handful of dirt thrown against the wind, his anger will fall back on his own head."

  5. Noble friendship;
  6. Suitable conversation.
— Commentary to Satipatthana Sutta

These things, too, are helpful in conquering ill-will:

  1. Rapture, of the factors of absorption (jhananga);
  2. Faith, of the spiritual faculties (indriya);
  3. Rapture and equanimity, of the factors of enlightenment (bojjhanga).
C. Simile

If there is a pot of water heated on the fire, the water seething and boiling, a man with a normal faculty of sight, looking into it, could not properly recognize and see the image of his own face. In the same way, when one's mind is possessed by ill-will, overpowered by ill-will, one cannot properly see the escape from the ill-will which has arisen; then one does not properly understand and see one's own welfare, nor that of another, nor that of both; and also texts memorized a long time ago do not come into one's mind, not to speak of those not memorized.

— SN 46:55
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Anger: Conflict; Ill-will (vyapada); Kilesa (defilements); Khanti (patience); Metta (goodwill); Nivarana (hindrances); War.
As the only thing that's good to kill: SN 1.71
What to do if someone is angry with you: SN 7.2, SN 11.4
What to do when ~ arises: Thag 6.12
The best response to ~ (a debate between two deities): SN 11.5
~ can carve into you like an inscription in stone: AN 3.130
~ can never be conquered with more ~: SN 11.4, Dhp 3
"Anger" (Dhammapada XVII)
The dangers of giving in to ~: AN 7.60

There is a nice story, my person likes to share:

There’s a famous story concerning Somdet Toh. A young monk once came to him to complain that another monk had hit him, and Somdet Toh said, “Well, you hit him first.” The monk replied, “No, no, he just came up and hit me over the head and I hadn’t done anything at all.” Somdet Toh said, “No, you hit him first.”Back and forth like this for a while and then the young monk got upset and went to see another senior monk to complain about Somdet Toh. So the other senior monk came and asked Somdet Toh what was up, and Somdet Toh said, “Well obviously it’s his karma from some previous lifetime. He had hit the other monk first at some point in time.” And of course that might have been after the other monk had hit the first monk first—so it goes back and forth, back and forth like this.

So when you see mistreatment around you, the first question isn’t “Is this just or unjust?” The question is, is the person dishing out the mistreatment behaving in a skillful way or unskillful way, and what can I do behaving skillfully to put a stop to unskillful behavior? read more or listen Justice vs. Skillfulness

In reagard of your talk here, and the flow of it was actually the reason why to post: if you like to be or become a good friend for others, don't take side if one fights outwardly enemies, for such a person is called "enemy in disguise", but help to fight the real enemy.
So always seek and be your self a real good friend and never another fool guiding fools.

And if you have ill-will like carved into stone, CPTSD, seek for people who can paint on soil, and if you are a soil-carver, look for those who are masters in carving on water. So don't look for "real" where there is no.

Since some of you might still entertain a relating to Jesus: That's a good friend in this regard, just broaden his advices unlimited, also in regard of animals and beings not seen. And if you come to his illusion that you are carring a cross for others, and suffer for others, at this moment remember the Buddha (that things have no outwardly reasons at least) and that burdens you carry out are gone as soon as the ripp, never to appear again.

So in this understanding, think of what one could cause for thousands of years be telling other "he did me harm":

http://zugangzureinsicht.org/html/tipitaka/kn/dhp/dhp.01.than_en.html said:
'He insulted me,
hit me,
beat me,
robbed me'
— for those who brood on this,
hostility isn't stilled.

'He insulted me,
hit me,
beat me,
robbed me' —
for those who don't brood on this,
hostility is stilled.

Hostilities aren't stilled
through hostility,
regardless.
Hostilities are stilled
through non-hostility:
this, an unending truth.

Unlike those who don't realize
that we're here on the verge
of perishing,
those who do:
their quarrels are stilled.
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How do you likes this alternative "plan"? Sounds reasonable?

Well, at this point all you need is faith for now. Knowing is not possible for now, if not having put into practice.

The Eleven benefits of practicing metta (goodwill): AN 11.16 That's the way you could even really reach your beloved union with God if wishing so.
 
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Aside from the POV of Lust [aka intense "desire" for a thing] ---when impeded can result in:

Anger, which begets delusion which begets bewilderment of memory.
When memory is bewildered, intelligence is lost, and when intelligence is lost, one falls down ... (from Bg 2.63)

There is these two categories of provocations. Provocations that beget Anger:

Crazymaking
Crazy making is not easy to talk about or describe. It's behavior that on the surface is saying one thing but underneath is really saying something else. It's often behavior that is a projection from the person who iscrazy making onto the person who is being crazy made.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/counseling-keys/201403/how-handle-crazymaker

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

"energy vampire"
Energy vampires are emotionally immature individuals who have the sense that the whole world revolves around them. They are almost incapable of seeing things from another person's perspective. They often lack empathy.
The term "energy vampire" is also used metaphorically to refer to people whose influence leaves a person feeling exhausted, unfocused, and depressed, without ascribing the phenomenon to psychic interference.
A person who boosts his own energy by taking energy from others by means of an argument, belittlement, criticism or other one-sided conversation.

My boss yelled at me for 15 minutes and now I feel like shit. He is such an energy vampire

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/11/14/how-to-avoid-being-drained-by-energy-vampires/
 
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