Hey mee,
What part of the world do you live in? Is English your second-language? Are you an immigrant living in a Western country? It's not that I'm trying to be racist, but this is an English-speaking forum and is mostly Western-oriented, particularly for English-speaking cultures like UK, Australia and the U.S.
There might be people from other cultures as well, but the people who settle in most comfortably are generally Western and English-speaking and understand the religious politics in Western and English-speaking countries like UK, U.S., Australia, and then as a secondary group, France, Germany, Spain, Canada, etc. The next most compatible are then the ones with a background in the Eastern religions/philosophies and Middle-Eastern faiths. This makes it not so predominantly Western and English-speaking, but even with Eastern and Middle-Eastern stuff, it is still quite Western-centric and Anglo-centric. I think it's a matter of finding common ground and fitting in.
The "language" you speak (and here I am no longer talking about linguistic language, but it is now terminological and methodological language) seems incompatible with the life experiences most of us have.
I think flexibility is another issue. I've been fairly flexible with the topics I discuss. There are many ways to use your mind. We don't always have to use the same frame of reference.
I think you need to be more flexible in the way you think about things. A little knowledge may help. A lot of fundamentalist churches discourage accumulation of knowledge among Christians. There's a strong anti-intellectual tradition in a lot of Christian groups. Knowledge and intelligence is seen as corrupt, unnecessary or just an ego trip.
You need to read a bit more about politics, history and society. We need to embrace the world and open yourself up to it. You're making it hard for yourself to understand what it means to be Christian by trying to isolate yourself from the rest of the world.
Jesus said, "give to Caesar what is Caesar's, give to God what is God's." You seem unwilling to give to Caesar what he asks of you. You don't have to ashamed of serving Caesar. There's a time and place for everything. There's a place for God. There's a place for Caesar. Honouring Caesar is not dishonouring God. God can still be highest in your mind despite your respect for Caesar.
God and Caesar don't share anything. They are mutually exclusive. You live for God, not Caesar. Caesar is nothing. God is everything.
Understand politics. Understand political correctness. Understand what it means to be a part of this world. Maybe then, you will understand God. You cannot understand God without also understanding Caesar.
Open your mind. Diverge. Be more divergent in your thinking. Be open to more possibilities. See a wider reality. The universe is bigger than you think, physically, socially, politically and ideologically.
You think you know the world but you don't. I'm not putting you down there. I've had that experience myself. It's something we all have to understand.
Sorry about the smilie, I just had to do it.
I don't know . . . maybe you just don't fit in.
