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Faithfulservant
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That's a different way of looking at it.. can I suggest you look at it like this? .. that with God's guidance you can work it out and not divorce?
muhammad_isa
Save Our Souls
That would be the best solution..
..but as a marriage guidance counsellor, one needs to be realistic.
Some marriages cannot be 'repaired'.
Faithfulservant
Well-Known Member
I don't limit what God can do if both parties fully commit. My dad had an affair on my mom and I have a brother from it. My mom forgave my dad and my dad was repentant. Their marriage was stronger after this. It was by God's Grace and Mercy that my mom showed my dad the same grace and mercy.That would be the best solution..
..but as a marriage guidance counsellor, one needs to be realistic.
Some marriages cannot be 'repaired'.
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Same goes. Not allowed
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Jesus was quite clear. He left no wriggle room. That is why the Catholic Church cannot go against the actual words of Christ. Instead the Catholic church tries to find reasons to annul the marriage -- that one or both parties did not properly understand the vows, etc. Then there is the problem of children born into an annulled marriage ... and so on
muhammad_isa
Save Our Souls
muhammad_isa
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The Quran only requires a man to say 'I divorce you' three times. What if my daughter's husband decided to divorce her in a fit of pique, after a couple of drinks lets say, and then in the morning realized his mistake and changed his mind?
The Quran requires that she marry another man, and culminate the second marriage, and then be divorced a second time, before she and her original husband can marry again.
Is that right?
What don't you think so? Those are the words of Jesus. He did not qualify them. The church cannot compromise. The church can understand, and individuals can have a secular divorce, and the church can turn a blind eye and allow them the Eucharist, but the church cannot go against the words of Christ. However there's nobody at the door of the church turning away parishioners who are divorced and remarried.
That is a different issue. Jesus did not say anything about it.
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muhammad_isa
Save Our Souls
..for me, that is hypocrisy.
When one wants to get married, they go to the church .. and when divorced, the registry office.
It is all about interpretation. You say that Jesus specifically said that divorce was "illegal",
except for cases where a spouse blames the other of adultery.
Can you not see that that just makes divorce worse for everybody concerned?
People flinging blame around left, right and center.
Jesus said many things .. he spoke in parables and in a spiritual sense.
A man should not think that divorcing his wife is legal, and therefore he can
do as he pleases. Such a person will have to answer to God. It is all about intention.
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"Divorce is not something that is forbidden in Islam."
An Introduction to Islamic Divorce and Marriage Contracts
Dive into the world of Islamic divorce with our latest blog post. Learn about unique aspects like Talaq, Khula, the Mahr, and the Iddah period. Understand the complexities of child custody in Islamic law, and how it contrasts with American family law. Explore the challenges Muslim couples face...
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muhammad_isa
Save Our Souls
..and so? It is also allowable in Judaism.
Perhaps you misunderstand me.
I said "A man should not think that divorcing his wife is legal [which it is}", and take that as God is
in agreement with divorce on a whim.
Jesus has made it very clear, that a man should not divorce his wife without good reason.
..and it is not a good reason because she has perhaps become a burden, and you fancy another
woman.
TheLightWithin
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Couples are the hardest to work with in therapy for sure.That would be the best solution..
..but as a marriage guidance counsellor, one needs to be realistic.
Some marriages cannot be 'repaired'.
I always dread it when couples are on my caseload.
Some turn out well.
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Nevertheless. It's the word of Jesus?
In this case He was not using a parable
He didn't say without good reason. In Mark he forbade divorce for any reason:
“It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:5-12)
In Matthew and Luke the qualification 'except in case of adultery' was added:
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:4-9)
“Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery." (Luke 16:18)
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muhammad_isa
Save Our Souls
Jesus was not "in Mark" as such..
It is reported in the Gospels, that Jesus warned his disciples about divorcing women and marrying another.
If you wish to interpret his sayings as meaning divorce is only for cases of infidelity, that is your prerogative.
For me, it is impractical for a society to have such law.
Your stance, causes divorcees to be lepers. who should be isolated.
The Qur'an is very clear on divorce .. it is undesirable, but sometimes necessary.
My wife decided to leave me after 20 years of marriage, the twins were 7.
Why on earth would I want to live with a woman who no longer wanted to live with me?
I mean the whole concept that two people would have the same goals, desires, interests after a decade is ludicrous in my mind. I mean a percentage do, but we can't expect everyone .
So my focus changed, plenty of studies out there about children from broken homes, increased chance of drug use, criminal behaviour, alcoholism, loss of focus at achool... my job became to reduce those odds, attempt to eliminate them becoming part of that statistic.
Many people wanted me to fight for my marriage...meh...I grew up with parents who were just slightly at odds...mom never left...because that wasn't done then. But growing up in an acrimonious household is not beneficial either.
My daughter just opened a conference in her capacity working on the governors staff for crime prevention and assistance to victims of domestic violence. My son teaches high.school biology (evolution...uh oh). While I am fully aware divorce took a toll on their upbringing, they ain't in therapy yet...
Why on earth would I want to live with a woman who no longer wanted to live with me?
I mean the whole concept that two people would have the same goals, desires, interests after a decade is ludicrous in my mind. I mean a percentage do, but we can't expect everyone .
So my focus changed, plenty of studies out there about children from broken homes, increased chance of drug use, criminal behaviour, alcoholism, loss of focus at achool... my job became to reduce those odds, attempt to eliminate them becoming part of that statistic.
Many people wanted me to fight for my marriage...meh...I grew up with parents who were just slightly at odds...mom never left...because that wasn't done then. But growing up in an acrimonious household is not beneficial either.
My daughter just opened a conference in her capacity working on the governors staff for crime prevention and assistance to victims of domestic violence. My son teaches high.school biology (evolution...uh oh). While I am fully aware divorce took a toll on their upbringing, they ain't in therapy yet...
muhammad_isa
Save Our Souls
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Sorry to hear what happened, seems like it was a long time ago with your kids being adults now. still doesn't change the pain of divorce. o Everyone's views change to follow what life throws at them. I blame the industrial revolution and feminism for this mess we have come to live in since the 20th century.
Raising families should give people a common goal. My wife and I are like night and day, but we have made 36 years of marriage work, not easy at times, but we understood that most divorces come from selfishness. My wife does her thing and I do my thing and then we have a few things that we do together. Any two people will smother each other if they don't at least have there own life within a marriage.
Muhammad_isa is coming from his point of view from what he has seen. I am certain in certain situations, a continuing marriage would not be good. If you want an easy way out, just become Catholic and have the marriage annulled.
Bottom line is, divorce was not part of God's plan.
I thank feminism and the industrial revolution for the life my kids get to experience today.
If G!d wanted women to remain Barefoot and pregnant he wouldn't have invented the washing machine (which gave women the time to revolt and demand equal rights)
I realize you are stuck in the past an relish the good old days...but they (good old days) are gone...and soon so will be the dinosaurs. The future is not for us....it is for the youth.
Yeah, I lived a child for 20 years, was married 20 years and divorced 20 years...it had been and incredibly awesome life. Was divorce on my mind? In my script? No, but I don't get to write the story, I just get to play the hand that is dealt.
I have no need for your archaic notions or sympathy...life is good. (2 open hearts, 4 strokes, arthritis, CKD, Asthma and all) I'll take the whole package...till death do me part!