Jokes, jokes, and more jokes ...

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by AletheiaRivers, May 18, 2006.

  1. Grandad

    Grandad Well-Known Member

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    A Trappist joke (told to me while at Mount Saint Bernard Abbey; Leicester; UK):

    ‘Like all Benedictines, we have a Rule of Silence. However, every Easter our Novice Master allows just one of his charges to say a few words on Abbey life. On this particular year it was Brother Matthew's turn:

    ‘I really love it here’, he said. ‘The companionship is wonderful, and the spirituality awesome. I’m truly sorry to say, however, that the food is terrible. It is easily the worst I have ever had to endure.’

    'On the second year the turn fell to Brother Mark:

    ‘I agree wholeheartedly with Brother Matthew that the companionship here is wonderful, and the spirituality awesome. But I really do have to wonder if he’s right in the head when it comes to his attack on the quality of our food. I maintain – most strongly – that ours is truly wonderful. Easily the very best it has ever been my good fortune to enjoy’.

    'On the third year, Brother Luke stepped forward:

    ‘I also love it here, Father’, he said. ‘But what really depresses me is this constant bickering over food!’
     
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  2. Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine Junior Moderator, Intro Moderator

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    Ouch!
    [​IMG]

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
     
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  3. Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine Junior Moderator, Intro Moderator

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    I see what you did there!
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    Another truism?
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    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
     
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  4. Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine Junior Moderator, Intro Moderator

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    Does this bring back some "fond" memories?
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    I'm commando, like a Navy SEAL
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    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
     
  5. Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine Junior Moderator, Intro Moderator

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    Like a kid in a cashew store!
    [​IMG]

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
     
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  6. Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine Junior Moderator, Intro Moderator

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    What would you call it?
    [​IMG]

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
     
  7. Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine Junior Moderator, Intro Moderator

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    Seems right!
    [​IMG]

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
     
  8. RJM

    RJM God Feeds the Ravens Admin

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  9. Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine Junior Moderator, Intro Moderator

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    Another two coffee truisms!
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
     
  10. Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine Junior Moderator, Intro Moderator

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    Anyone else ever feel his way?
    [​IMG]

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
     
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  11. wil

    wil UNeyeR1 Moderator

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    And now Dale can't order uber eats...
    Or play solitaire

    Don't be like Dale
     
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  12. Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine Junior Moderator, Intro Moderator

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    Remind anyone of a human or :kitty: companion?
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    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
     
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  13. Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine Junior Moderator, Intro Moderator

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    Dog fight!
    [​IMG]

    Phyllis Sidhe+Uaine
     
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  14. Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine Junior Moderator, Intro Moderator

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    Nor have I seen any ragweed!
    [​IMG]

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
     
  15. Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine Junior Moderator, Intro Moderator

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    A truism?
    [​IMG]

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
     
  16. Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine Junior Moderator, Intro Moderator

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    I don't think so!
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    This is/was for those who have taught algebra:
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    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
     
  17. HugoZyl

    HugoZyl Established Member

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    My wife was telling our daughter who was 6 years old at that time about Covid-19, and why there are lock-downs. After asking many questions the daughter said she had a better solution than lock-downs. We asked what solution she had. She said just bury the corpses in their families' gardens. Asked why, she said that if the family misses the dead person, they can just dig up the corpse again. :-D hahaha
     
  18. Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine Junior Moderator, Intro Moderator

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    Who else would be ahead of the fishing buddies?
    [​IMG]

    **********************************************************************
    This is why you should check the pockets...
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    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
     
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  19. powessy

    powessy Well-Known Member

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    075E9296-349E-4F1E-95B4-6FB9EB26C775.jpeg

    I thought I should add some background information. Colorado was the first state in the USA to legalize marijuana, and candy edibles with high levels of thc.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2022
  20. Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine Junior Moderator, Intro Moderator

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    :kitty: "says" 1,000 words in just one look:
    [​IMG]

    Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
     

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